Category : Books-Fiction

Sub Category : Drama

Chapter 3



  The room was dark as I peaked out from one eye. I instinctively grabbed my neck when I felt the pain as I swallowed. The memory of his hands around my neck came flooding back. I started to panic, “My boys” I tried to say out loud but only a tiny whisper came out. I was in my nightgown, tucked into bed. I had so many questions. I sat up and put my feet to the floor as I tried to stand, I felt dizzy and sat back down. I tried to call out again, “Drew! David!” I could only manage a slight whisper. I felt around on my nightstand searching for my phone with no luck. I took a deep breath and tried to stand once more. 



   Finally up on my feet, I tiptoed into the living room looking for Josh and the boys. It was dark in the house except for the dancing light coming from the TV. I inched my way over to the back of the couch where I found Josh and the boys passed out. With a big sigh of relief, I walked over to cover them with a blanket. I jumped as Josh reached out and grabbed my wrist. “You're up sweetheart, you should be resting” he said. “I woke up and I was all alone, I needed to check on the boys.” I whispered.  “The boys?” he snapped. “Just the boys?” he repeated. 

“I didn't get to see them before…” I paused. “Before what Mikayla?” “Spit it out.” his voice got louder. “Before bed.” I cried. “I just wanted to kiss them goodnight.” I pleaded.



   “Well okay then, you can kiss them goodnight, right after you kiss me goodnight.” He demanded. I froze, I couldn't take anymore pain from him. I was scared as I slowly bent down to kiss him. I wanted to vomit as I felt his tongue slip into my mouth. He grabbed the back of my head and kissed me hard. I tried to pull away but he was too strong for me. I didn’t want to risk waking the boys, so I relaxed and kissed him back. The tears burned my eyes, then slowly fell down my cheeks. He stood up and picked me up and carried me into the kitchen. The boys were still out cold as Josh threw me on the counter. I pleaded for him to stop as he grabbed a wooden spoon and shoved it inside me. I just laid there staring at the ceiling sobbing through the pain as he raped me. When he finished he pulled up his pants and walked down the hall to our room. 


  I carefully slid off the counter and landed on my feet. I could feel wetness running down my leg as I tried to walk to the bathroom in the dark. I quietly shut the door and turned on the light. I looked down to see blood dripping down my leg. I began sobbing uncontrollably now as I tried to clean myself up. I briefly caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and I tried to scream. My hair, he chopped off my hair, I was in shock as I  stared at my reflection. The whites of my eyes were blood red from when he choked me and I could see the bruising on my neck from his grip. I fell to my knees. Josh was getting more and more violent lately, I was afraid he would eventually kill me. 



  I can't let the boys see my like this, I thought. I walked down the hall to our room, careful not to wake Josh as he was already snoring. I grabbed a wet towel to wash away the blood then changed my nightgown. It was dark and the boys were exhausted, I only hoped they would stay asleep as I carried them to their beds. 


  After they were all tucked in, I walked into the guest room and fell into bed. I couldn't stand to sleep next to Josh after what he did. That night I cried myself to sleep, hoping that he would be gone before I woke.



  I woke with a start when I heard the garage door close. The guest room was at the front of our house with the garage directly under it. It was still dark in my room as I rolled over in bed. My voice was still hoarse as I cleared my throat. I looked over at the pillow next to me and saw a note. I quickly sat up as I read it;


       “My Dearest Mikayla,

    I'm deeply sorry for the pain I have caused you. I love you so much and I am scared everyday that I am going to lose you, sometimes I can't help myself. I hope that you can find it in your heart to forgive me. I will be home a little later tonight, don't worry about dinner, I'll bring home take out. 


Love always,


           Josh 



  After crumpling the note in my hand I quickly tossed it in the trash. I jumped out of bed to find my phone before the boys woke up. Searching everywhere, I finally found it under my bed. I must have tossed it when he was choking me. I cringed at what memory I had left of that night. I went into the bathroom and sat at my vanity to plug in my phone so I could call Lauren. I knew it was early and I would wake her, but I was desperate. I didn't want the boys to see me like this, I wasn't quite sure what to tell them. 



  As I heard the phone ringing, I started to cry as I looked at the unfamiliar face staring back at me in the mirror. My eyes still bloodshot and puffy. The bruise left behind on my neck brought back the moment in my life where I thought I was dying. I thought of my kids and cried even more. 


   “Hello”, Lauren mumbled with a half sleepy voice. I was crying so hard, I couldn't speak. “Mik, honey, what's going on? Are you ok?” She inquired. I took a couple of deep breaths and blurted out, “I need you, can you come over?” 

     “Umm, yes. I need to wake my mom to let her know to listen for the kids and I'll be right over.” 


 “Bring your scissors, I'll explain when you get here” I said as I hung up. I turned on the shower and stepped in. The hot water felt good on my skin as I rinsed off the dry blood from the night before. I finished up in the shower and quickly got dressed so I could listen for the door. I peeked in on the boys before I headed to the kitchen to make coffee for Lauren and I. They were sleeping soundly, so I carefully closed the door after I slipped out. 


  The smell of the coffee as it brewed got my stomach growling. I realized that I never ate dinner last night so I opened a banana to munch on while waiting for the coffee. I winced as I choked down the first bite. The pain in my neck made it difficult to eat, but I knew I needed food so I forced down the rest. 


  As I poured a cup of coffee I heard a light knock at the door. I had my hair in a towel to hide the choppy new cut Josh gave me. I wanted a chance to explain what happened before I surprised her with my missing signature long locks. I opened the door to see Lauren standing there, her jaw dropped open as she looked at me. I guess even with a towel on my head, I was still quite the mess. I didn't need to explain anything. She already knew who did this.


  “Mikayla, What did he do to you?” She cried. I held my finger to my mouth to let her know to keep it down, I didn't want to risk waking the boys. She continued in a whisper, “Oh my god, sweetie. You have to leave him, he's going to kill you” She pleaded.


“I know, I know, It's getting worse.” I cried. “I just need to do it right, I can't lose my boys.” 


 I reached up and removed the towel from my head. “Can you fix this?” Her face said it all as she reached out to hug me. I couldn't hold back the tears anymore. She quietly sat me down at the kitchen table and began to comb what was left of my hair. “Do what you can with it, it will grow back.” I said in a strangely calm voice. It felt good to cry, to let it all out in the presence of my best friend. 



  After about thirty minutes of Lauren working her magic, I was left with an adorable pixie cut. It wasn't so bad after all. It was my bloodshot eyes and the bruise on my neck that I needed to cover up. Too bad it was summer and entirely way too hot for a turtle neck. Luckily Lauren did makeup and hair and she brought her kit to cover up my bruises. I will just tell the boys that I was sick, and my eyes got that way from throwing up all night. Thankfully, they were young and wouldn't ask many questions. We would just stay home and watch movies today. The boys loved days like that anyway.


  I thanked Lauren as I walked her to the door. “Come over sometime soon, the kids can swim and we could chat.” She offered. “That sounds great, I'll call you later, thanks again.” I said softly as I hugged her goodbye.


  The boys quietly crept out of their room and snuck up behind me while I stood at the stove making scrambled eggs. I jumped as they reached out and hugged my legs. “Good morning mama.” They squealed. “I like you hair mama!” David said as I bent down to kiss him. “You eyes are red, I like red mama.” Drew exclaimed. “Aww, thank you baby.” I said as I bear hugged them both. They giggled as they always did. I guess I didn't have to explain anything to them after all. Their innocence protected them from the ugly truth.



  As we sat at the round kitchen table to eat our breakfast, I told the boys about movie day. I said that we would close the shutters and make it dark, then we would eat popcorn with M&M’s sprinkled in. They both were excited as they argued about what movie to watch. “Finish your breakfast, boys.” I demanded.


  I got up from the table when I heard my phone ring. Without looking at who it was I answered. “Hello.” 


  “Hey Mikki, it's me.” He said softly. I didn't say anything, I didn't really know what to say. “Mik, talk to me, I'm really sorry.” He pleaded. “I don't have anything to say.” I said coldly. I didn't want to set him off again, but I couldn't hold back my anger. “You could have killed me, Josh.” “What about the boys? You want to take their mother away from them?” I snapped. “No, No, I would never do that. I just lost It. It was a long day, it will never happen again.” He promised.


 I was very familiar with his “promises”. He always promised that things would be better and they never were. In fact things were worse than ever. Although, each time he laid a hand on me I grew stronger. One day I would leave him.