Category : Blogs

Sub Category : Relationships

Is love really just an addiction?

.We all have a story. A past. Memories. Lessons we've learned along the way. Its these things that define us as human beings.  They make us who we are. They teach us right from wrong. Throughout the years each new lesson learned molds us into who we are today.  However that doesn't mean that deep down inside were shaped into a truthful being. A righteous neighbor. An honest child. A devoted lover. Or a true friend. We all have good in us. However just as in life, in every single one of us, there's a hidden side that's not always so good,even if not intentionally. Everyone has heard that old saying" no one is perfect". So much so that now adays it goes in one ear and out the other. Loving another means that you take the good with the bad. You love them for everything they are.  Their assets as well as flaws , their accomplishments as well as fails. There ups and their downs. Their strengths and weaknesses.When you decide you love someone your accepting all of these things about them and deciding those strengths overpower their weaknesses so much so that we see our future mirrored in their eyes "And let's be honest,we are all weak in one way or another even if were blind to it or refuse to admit being imperfect.  However we constantly go and judge others because,why? They dont live up to our defined  standards of how they should be?We discriminate agaisnt  the things we dont agree that person should be on the inside or how they should act on the outside .  But who's to say who one person is supposed to be or how their supposed to act. I mean isn't that what makes us unique as an individual?. What gives us the right to say what they went through in their lives that's  shaped them  into the person they are today wasn't right
 And what gives us the nerve to even for a second think that their view isn't politically correct just because we dont agree with their way of seeing life. That because they have a fear of rejection they'll always be alone. That because they are stubborn that their never right. That because they have anger issues and have a habit if getting heated from time to time their disrespectful. That because they lie you'll never be able to trust them. Or because their an addict they'll never amount to anything worth of substance in their lifetime. Our minds automatically judge,and  so often  without any previous thought that we miss out on forming a bond with others that we could have possibly made a friend for life. Or even  just made an impact on that person had we not given in to our instantaneous ignorance and been so judigemental without taking the time to see the value in our peers and point out the positive attributes instead of the negative. So how does the ignorance residing in us decide what people we encounter throughout our lifetime are specail enough to receive our love? And have the value that were looking for in a lifelong partner.What makes someone so indispensable that we decide to love THEM and only them for eternity? They say it takes 21 days to form a habit. So who's to say that those we believe we love aren't just someone we ultimately aren't just addicted to. Someone were just comfortable having around  because we've become accustomed to having them in our lives. Are they really a neccisity or are they just a fleeting want for a short period of time? A mere escape to help us comfortably get through the difficult times were currently experiencing in our lives. Someone who helps us ignore the pain who makes life easier to live for the time being. Someone who makes us smile instead of frown. That one person that makes you jump out of bed in the morning excited to start a new day.  Not knowing if the day will even end with that said  person by your side. Unsure of what lies in the future or even the truth in the reality of having that person in your life.Or are they really your true love? That one that you truly are unable to live without. The one that completes your every extreme. The one who  shows you that  you arent a reject. That you are special beyond any and all means ,and that you are more then worth taking a chance on. The one that you allow to take the wheel in the relationship, after being independent for so long,because you realize being right isn't what matters between you, it's that there's enough give and take in your relationship that your able to work as a team. Maybe your the only one that seems to calm their nerves when their stressed so their frustration doesnt lead to anger and therefore hinder future resentment.The one that you feel so comfortable with that you dont feel the need to lie because you know no matter what you'll accept them for who they truely are inside. No questions asked and just because you trust in them and the trust shared between you is uncanded.
Or maybe you are that one human on this planet that makes them feel so good about themselves that they want to be a better person so they can live as many days with you as they can on this earth. So they decide to put down all substances so they can live the more enriched and fuller life  that you two imagined you could have together. That utopia full of love and happiness that everyone dreams of but so few are ever able to experience. You are two of the lucky ones because when it all comes down to it, you two  truley complete each other in such a manner to compliment one another  to be your best that you can be as one,together.  Now i believe that's true love,not an addiction that our judgement is so clouded to that we see it as true love. There will always be a want for love in all our hearts. It's a human need,a human nature to be wanted and we are all conditioned to want to find that one who completes us. Even stated otherwise, when it comes down to it we really do choose who we love in life. The hardest part is when they dont reciprocate  the feelings you thought they did all along. Having to overcome that feeling of deception by the one we truely love has an unspoken pain that feels like it takes a lifetime to overcome. And the confusion of what feelings are to be felt  from here on out towards them when we find out their intentions the entire time were something we didnt expect from them ,it isn't an easy pill to swallow. To realize that the reality of the situation wasn't the same as you had viewed all along.That the sentimental beliefs youd both agreed apon,and that at ome time were so important to you both,were just carelessly thrown away,or pushed to the back burner only to try to rekindle again at a future date. But again who's to say their way of viewing them wasn't right. Maybe they held back because of the way they were raised to love. Maybe they were conditioned to not believe that true love exists. That there isn't such a thing as more then one love in lifetime. Maybe they were conditioned to believe that the things in life that are hardest aren't worth the time and effort when the easier route is right around the corner. Maybe they were conditioned to not trust and those said trust issues fog their feelings. Or maybe they were conditioned to believe that there are certain expectations that are to be followed when choosing a mate and who they choose may not be a  worthy lifelong partner. Theres so many plausible  reasons as to why you may not be good enough in the eyes of that one you believe is YOUR one. We need to remember that things happen as there supposed to and everything really does happen for a reason. As a page in your story of life.Rejection is painful however it's not without a lesson.To not be viewed good enough in another's eyes, and to  be given up on will pain us immensely. It will break our heart to be treated as if were not good enough. However it's the painful reality of every lesson learned that makes you who you are today  That pain will add a scar to your wall of triumphs and in the end it will be a memory with a realization linked to it. And whatever that memory is is when we will know if those ones we believed we loved were really just an addiction or if they were someone who left a mark on our hearts forever. Wether we see the painful reality of what lesson we take from each experience now or we see it later,it really is a win for us in the end. Because that scar left behind,that seems so big now,that scar will heal and it will leave us satisfied one day knowing its proof that we learned that we were able to pick up the puzzles pieces of life that had shattered around  us,only to be whole again in the end...And hey we got to know another human on a level that made us believe in love. So in the end isn't  that what we all want,to believe in love? So is that really so bad??