Category : Diary/Journal

Sub Category : N/A

Sooner or later that's where it all goes. I wish on this laptop I could write in my usual form. Though I can't it all rolls off like yesterdays storm. I try to control where my mind goes, but I've destroyed myself, time knows. Most of it shows, I wish I could be someone who never gave off any tells. Someone who sells he's not broken, someone once again open and able to talk about anything. It's like that basic cable channel where the sounds always buzzing and somewhat always humming. It's hard to reach out, be a man, screw you're feelings and keep moving. I wish that's what I could begin doing. Stuck in a life always losing, just without all the usual ways I used for coping. I have nothing much of real value, nothing to really offer, besides time and a heart filled with heat conducting copper. The constant ball dropper, the fumbler, who can't regain his strength of composure. Call me the loser, I really don't care anymore. It's high time I finally did what I said I'd be doing, I'm too tired of losing my minding after almost reaching that point I was just about to start finding, the back and forth is finally stopping, no more will I give in. There's something out there in the waiting.