Rant Read Count : 28

Category : Diary/Journal

Sub Category : N/A

Hey, It’s Evan Again -

    Today, well, early this morning. Trina had her whole world flipped on Its head. A moment in which caused the system to go into a state of emergency. Where alters were being awoken from dormancy (A long induced sleep in which alters are either completed with their job or not needed). This would be the second state of emergency within these few weeks, which the other can be covered some other time. As a system partner and the boyfriend to the host, I’ve been told to write this out. Which means I can only give you my perspective of what happened.
    I am the system partner as some of you may know, but to others, it just means I am a safe place for alters outside of the headspace. As a system partner, you are going to be very renowned for the positive and safe nature that you create around the outside environment. This helps out alters in the system a lot especially in a very large Polyfragmented system (system above 100 alters) such as the Masquerade System. This doesn’t exclude anyone else that is friends with Trina or the system. Anyone can be deemed a safe place if they show that they are. 

    As someone who is a safe place you are going to listen to alters, hear their stories, and learn about them as individuals. There are of course memories they will hold as what an alter is supposed to do. Because they were split off due to traumatic or stressful events. Like if your RAM is overloaded in your computer. Then you’d just upgrade it and get more space to keep It functioning and working normally. The same could be implied to systems in DID. Especially if one is ployfrag, then splitting happens a lot. From small triggers or things such as losing your keys.

    When it comes to an alter telling you about what they hold can vary. There are different classification levels in which you can talk about it to other alters or the host without it damaging anyone and the system. In the case of what happened last night a close friend to the host whose been around the system for 2 years now had been told some information recently. He was trusted with not telling anyone or the host as Order stated. Order is an alter in the system for a very, very, very long time. You have to take her word because she knows what will happen if that leaks.
    Her friend is pretty close to the system. He gets told stuff from time to time by alters. His awareness of what goes on in the system is umm… Eh? Sometimes he gets it. Most times he forgets. I can’t blame him for most things because he does suffer from head trauma. He show’s a lot of integrity and just wants to do the right thing for the host Trina and everyone in the system. I can understand that especially being as close as I am with everyone in the system.
    He ended up spilling out what Order specifically said not to tell Trina. Because in his moment of righteousness he felt like she should know why she was blacking out a lot on that day. At the moment this was happening I was freaking out. Because I know that there is no reason you should say something that someone told you not to say. At that point you are going against a respectable alters words and taking matters into your own hands. He pretty much sits on the fence about it and Trina hates beating around the bush. At this point he either says it or he doesn’t.
    He tells her and it leads to a major event that causes the host Trina to go through a major crisis. She had been working her ass off really really hard and she is very passionate about her role in the system and making it a better place. She has put blood, sweat, and tears into trying to create a communication to 3,000 alters a reality. She is far from a quitter and other alters respect her for being a great host and being so strong to stand the harsh reality outside the headspace. However, nothing hurts more than being told that you are being replaced due to the stress being so overbearing on you that a new host is needed. 


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