Category : Poems

Sub Category : N/A

                  There is not a day that goes by where I don't stop and think about everyone of you who are not here by my side or even a part of my world either because you have passed on or you have been ripped out of my world do to some horrible stuff that had happened to you which was oucontrol, so for now all I can do is just work on not just bettering myself but work on getting my life back on the right path as well as becoming the BEST DAMN MOTHER, SISTER,AUNT AND WIFE that I can be that do to my own demons in my closet has kept me from being the BEST ME that I once upon a time was the BEST ME that had ever lived that is untill I fell into the path of drug addiction which has been holding my hand as I have lived my life day by day and yes I'll admit it that some of the drug choices that I had made has almost cost me my life, the one drug that had me the closest of costing my own life was Heroin I happened to overdose just a few years ago and it was the night before my birthday and my biggest nightmares had almost came reality which is me dying all alone but I owe my life to two complete strangers that had saved my life that faithful night, that night was also a beginning of me kicking my own Heroin addictions ass and I have been clean and sober now for three years going on four years in March of next year, but I still have just one more demon in my closet still that I believe that I have almost have it conquered and defeated which is my Meth addiction which again I'll be one hundred percent honest with you all this demon of mine, meth addiction has been the hardest thing for me to conquer in all my years of experiencing some kind of drug addiction to kick to the curb and out of my life for good and I just hope and pray like hell that I haven't waited to long to conquer this battle of my drug addictions where that someday in the near future my children my babies will be calling, texting me or even Facebooking me wanting to be a part of my life once again, I also hope that I hadn't taken so long in kicking my drug addictions that the loved ones that I had lost or had been ripped away from my life can be able to look down upon me from the gates of heaven and be proud of me instead of being disappointed in my choices that I had made in my life. There is not a day that goes by that I don't stop and think about everyone of you who are not here by my side or even a part of my world.

             WRITTEN BY: Donna Ruttenbur
              WRITTEN ON: September 2,2020