Category : Poems

Sub Category : N/A

Tell me,  what would you do?  
When the life you know is always "being on the run" 
Since I was about one
Mum would take me town to town.  
But it wasn't until my brother was born
That's when the shit went down. 
Accusations everyday I didn't know why 
Mummy was insecure and had a lot of mental problems 
But I didn't know why
Why I would get accused as to being just like her.  
Only by the time I could walk,  everything I did was a crime. 
I was only about five 
I was told "your never going to have big lushes lips like mine" 
"Stop trying to put my makeup and shoes on" you won't be like me. 
But I thought that was normal growing up to be a girl you see.  
But see thats another part of the story that gets worse later. 
What about the fights with the step dad or the neighbors? 
The only love I knew was glass getting smashed and them always cheating on each other.  
He wasn't a women beater,  but mum sure ass beat him. 

So tell me, what would think?  
What would you think that by the time you we're about eight Years old.  
Your mummy did a bolt. 
Run away from Brisbane and stayed at nanny and poppys.  
All you remember is during one night mummy pulls a knife on nanny.  
Then we're jumping out of the bedroom window,  hop in the car and driving away. 

We got a house in bundaberg.  
The place where I actually got to stay for school. 
It was good for abit, then i had enough.
I bullied because i wasnt cool.
I tried so hard to fit in, i really did. 
I tried and tierd even some of the girls made me look like a fool 
I didnt want to go to school anymore i hated it! 
And ever since grade 3 i hated the shit. 

But not that much longer that time went by.
Mummy got real sick, mentally.
And told me we were going to die. 
That day was when she told me theres hitman after us.
I was 8 years old, what is a hitman mummy? 
I guy thats going to kill us hunny. 
Your step dad pays people to kill us. 
They want us all dead. Everyone does.  
Here I'll lock you In the house while I put the bins out. 
Its not fucking safe out there I tell ya.  
I start screaming,  that must of been how I ended up clostaphobic 
It didn't sound real,  but that's my mummy
What do I believe?  

So tell me,  How would you feel?  
When you see mummy climbing up in the man hole of the house,  
Saying there's been someone up in there 
Sussing us out.  
But there was no one there.  
I was freaking out, and this alone has already given me nightmares
But it goes on, but i promise itll be alright
I swear. 

But what if one day the water you drink,  
Is bad for you,  to the point it's been poisoned by the government. 
Water you buy and water in the sink.  
"Come on kids let's go to maccas and get a juice,  but no food though because the meat is also bad for you"
But mummy why is it bad I just want a happy meal.  
Tough shit kid want me to tell you"
The meat everywhere is humans.  
The government is fucked and everyone isn't just out to kill me
They want you dead too.  

Now I guess your thinking
What the fuck am I reading.  
But if I told you,  
It's only the beginning  
I ended up repeating grade 3. 
Met some nice friends
That I use to go and see.  
But this one night my 2 friends stayed over
I'm pretty sure it was after a school disco
It seemed pretty normal pretty sure we had pizza for dinner 
Oh I forgot to mention mum and my step dad got back together. 
The the cops got called,  neomours times. 
Sorry harmony,  but your step dad is a child molester.  
Mummy  rekons it's happened to me too. 
But I will never know the truth.  
They took him away.  
Then they tried to take mummy aswell
Mummy didn't want them to take him away 
She held my 2 year old brother over the veranda saying she would drop him and he would have fell.  
The cops came and got mum
But mum out up a fight. 
She kicked one in the nuts and bit one
I was in such a fright.  
That day was the day 
I watch my mum get taken away. 


We we're in shock. 
Me and my brother got told to grab a teddy
That's when we got taken by docs.  
And got placed into homes where we didn't know anybody.  
I could keep going on with this life story
But I'll save that for another day.  
I guess is what I'm trying to say... 

What would you do?  
I grew up with people judging me what I'm going to be like. 
How would you feel?  
I've been buillied and put down and been told what's wrong and right.  
Would would you say?  
I sit and observe everybody, only say good things and never break a promise.  I let people say and think the worst but I prove them wrong.  
What you belive? 
I believe I'm my own person,  I live without fear of my past. I help even the ones that hurt me.  I make sure mum gets the help she needs.  I make the best life for me and my family that I have created. If you can relate to any part of this just remember.. Be proud of who are and what you have become.  Don't let your past control you. You can't control the past but the future is on your hands. Sometimes somethings will fall but you have to get back up.  You just have to.