Am I? Read Count : 35

Category : Poems

Sub Category : N/A
Am I not scared of losing you. Maybe because I feel like I don’t need you because I don’t. Are you irreplaceable? No. Am I?No. You make a great point of avoiding long term commitments just so we don’t end up breaking them all in the end. I can always say you were reliable and committed. Am I? More or less, yes but the thoughts in my mind are not and I unapologetically resent you for me settling for you. For me being too scared to let go of the first decent thing that came my way. Doesn’t mean you were the best thing because you’re not. You’re weak, but confident. Mediocre, and underwhelming. Do you even know your purpose? Me neither but I know mine. Mine is grand and holy. Something that is meant to touch and change lives, for the better. Look at you, you want a wife and tangible, worldly things that don’t matter, that never mattered to me but now they kinda do. I resent your vague existence. You move through each day with no direction like a wayward hobo just walking towards no destination. Despite it all, I love you but it’s a different love. A learned love. A love I have forced to grow that’s called perseverance right? Or is it incompatibility. And maybe you feel that unnatural harvesting. Maybe you see it too. You wanted me. I was intrigued by you and so we came together because the timing was right. We had similar pasts, and I respected your growth from what you overcame and you respected mine, kinda. Is this what marriage is supposed to be? Am I a good wife? Are you a good husband? Do we belong together? I am ambitious and you are proper. I am volatile and you are indifferent. I honestly really don’t care anymore. If we were to break I could bear it. I could pick up my baggage out of the dirt and move forward. Muddy and all. Guarding my heart again and waiting for new love to come my way. I will never chase because I don’t have to.

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  • Jun 30, 2020

  • Jun 30, 2020

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