Category : Poems

Sub Category : N/A

I crawl into bed
Silence in my head
And there may be monsters near
Like all of our fears
Tonight
I am just a girl
On the outside I have a normal life
I am a wondering soul in a sinning world
Tonight I lay underneath fuzzy blankets
Not worried about haunting silhouettes
That still wonder about
And some not so much like the ones who sent me into a drought
Crying on the cold floor
Used to be me as the younger girl
Tonight I am a strong young woman
This is who I am
But almost a year ago
I was at one of my lowest lows
Last summer I had nine cuts up my left wrist
I crossed the line after promising myself I’d quit
A few years prior
I watched girls telling their stories on notecards
They were also caught in floods and in fires
They were from small towns not the boulevard
I guess I am like them now
I know their pain now
From the outside you would never have known
But now at my life writing show
You do know
And as I learned from experience
I am and was never alone in my suicidal or mental war
From time travelers it’s like a sacred fragrance
Knowing that I won the war
Just by realizing I was worth fighting for
I may miss those poisonous people
But now I am sitting at the feet of a chapel
Because I let go of them
To save me
I left them
To fight for me
Unlike an ex lover
I am a crumpled up piece of notebook paper
Who wears angel white
And whom projects colorful lights
I wanted to die
And even if I still sigh
I survive
I am alive
Like my diamond heartbeat necklace around my neck
I am meaningful
And like a wreck
I am fragile
And with my miles
I am always worthwhile
And as long as I pray
I belive I will end up okay
So here I stay to say
I am human on any rainy, and sunny day