Category : Diary/Journal

Sub Category : N/A

Why me?
I've lived for 26 years 3 months and 2 days.
11 years of which I've lived with lupus.
Yes I've made plenty of mistakes,as everyone has.
I've also given clothes to ppl that I really didn't have, I've given money to homeless people that I really couldn't afford to, I've taken in friends who had no home when I myself was barely getting on my feet, I've put in hundreds of hours saving orphaned/abandoned animals even when I felt I was dying myself. So I sit and ask God what it was that I've done so absolutely wrong for me to deserve a possible cancer diagnosis? I know it's not 100% just yet but the speed in which the drs are moving worries me to my core. It's taken me this long to barely accept my lupus,im not sure I can handle cancer as well. If I said I wasn't terrified of be lying. All I want to do right now is get wasted until I can't remember who or what I am. It's a road I've been down before and right now it's not looking so bad. I don't know what the fuck to do!