Category : Diary/Journal

Sub Category : N/A

Crushing guilt. 
I know how I'm told to feel about this. I should be ok after all these years or at least less empty. You should be here not me. 
I feel that it was my fault somehow, I'm here breathing this air, feeling these feelings and you're not. 
I'm sorry.
I feel like half of me is missing.  Sometimes I still feel like a child with the way I miss you. I feel that I must live for the both of us, I hope you're proud of me. 
I'm not really religious so I'm not sure where you are if you're anywhere other than my constant thoughts or the little gold box mom keeps by her bed. 
I worry that I'll never feel whole. For years I've felt empty, always empty. 
I never knew you. You left 8 hours after our birth and I never knew you... yet you're everything I am. 
How the world would be if you lived.
You're the reason I continue.