Category : Articles
Sub Category : Motivation
I am quite aware that you are reading this piece because of its breathtaking title or perhaps to find out how well I will present arguments in justification of the above title. Whatever your interest may be please take some time out and relax while you go through this novel piece. I am most certain that you will learn few things herein.
Prior to my earlier publication entitled "Singleness is not a disease" that received warm regards by many (single and married), anticipations were high for a follow up publication as it relate to singleness. It may interest you to know that this novel piece isn't a follow up to my earlier article; it is my deepest conviction with regards to the title above.
Now let’s get to the heart of the matter; why I am single? In recent times, I am faced and greeted with a hand of questions as to why I am still single. Some of the questions are subtle others forceful. A brief relay of the questions includes:
When will you marry?
You are getting older?
Are you truly a man?
Can’t you see your friends are getting married?
Are you normal at all?
Why can’t you pick a wife?
When is the date of your wedding? And more alike.
Most times I perceived the love in the hearts of everyone who has had the reason to ask me why I am still unmarried. I can tell for certain that they wish me well and are passionate about my progress, success, and achievement in life. The growing anticipation from friends, colleagues, family, and more alike for a wife is indescribably unbelievable.
Amidst the growing anticipation and expectation coupled with extreme pressure, I am likely to remain unmarried for a few more years. Now this will shock many of you right? Yes! It’s the truth. The question has always been "Why are you still unmarried" not "What stops you from getting married". While the former is philosophical, the later is theological. I wish not to embrace the questions from any of the two revealed angles.
Quickly, let me draw your attention to some events in my life that has made some people suggest reasons why I am yet unmarried.
Failed relationship(s). With profound sense of humility, I make bold to say that those who had firsthand knowledge of me either as friends or colleagues know for certain that I am kind, reasonable, loving and caring. Amidst my kindness and unflinching love for people, I have had unpleasant experiences in romantic relationship(s). For the records, I have had four or more failed deep rooted relationships. Time may not allow me to state my ordeals as to why these relationships failed; the truth is that every one of them had the best of me in such moments of our lives.
My close friends are of the conviction that my unpleasant relationship ordeal is the reason why I have chosen to remain unmarried. Well, they have the rights to such conviction but that is not why I am still unmarried. Failed relationships (courtship) should never deter any man from marriage. It is better than broken marriage. Failure is an opportunity to do it better once more. So friends, I respect your convictions but they are not why I am still unmarried.
Wealth. A lot of unmarried or single men around the world have had the taste of lack wealth as the reason for their singleness. While that may be true to some extent, it is not entirely true for me. Money play a vital role in getting a wife but doesn't in finding a wife. My dad found a wife irrespective of how poor he was then yet he got married and lived on his meager income for many years. Also, in recent times, I know of friends who are not wealthy and are married. At least they can afford to feed and secure a noble place to lay their heads while they keep working on their financial fortunes. At least I can also afford a decent living and the basic things of life at the moment. You see! Wealth is not why I am yet unmarried. As much as the rich gets married, the broke does much more even in our acclaimed expensive society. A man of vision doesn't stay broke.
Fear. "You don't mean it" that's what you may be saying right now but it’s a reason we cannot sweep under the carpet. I have heard folks say "He is scared of getting married because of the responsibilities in it". This may be true to some unmarried men but to me. The more challenging a thing is, the more I love to dare it.
Everything in life is a responsibility. To choose not to be responsible is to be responsible for irresponsibility. Either way you are responsible. Many close folks tell me, "Man, I can’t afford to go through what that man is going through in marriage". Some exclaim "I rather remain unmarried than go through hell in marriage". They are victims of fear.
The unmarried go through a lot as well. They also cry, foot bills, and more. I am not a coward to fear dignity. A lot of married men may be going through unpleasant experience that does exempt us from doing what's right. Fear is never a deterrent for marriage.
Right partner. I am aware that marriage is glorious and beautiful especially when you are bonded to the right person. The question is; who is the right person? What makes him or her right? Who defines who is right? Some have waited for the "Right person" forever; others are caught up in that same golden cage. Those who have divine discerning and direction do not have problem with finding the right partner and losing the wrong one. No partner is a perfect fit or match; you work on yourselves to fit in nicely. There is also the need to trim and add to yourselves if you must nicely fit in. Every failed relationship is a product of lack of divine discerning/direction or inability to tend it to maturity. I was a victim at a time as well. The right partner is not an excuse to remain unmarried. It is not for me. Those who are divinely guided do not have a problem with that.
If these reasons are not why I am not yet married, what then could possibly be. Well, you have been patient to read this far. I implore you to be a little more patient as my next article will clear the air waves and reveal why I am yet unmarried. Thank you for your time and kind attention. Part II will come your way soonest. God bless you real good.