Category : Poems
Sub Category : N/A
No, my blinds are not broken because I am a nosey neighbor
It’s because I am a paranoid one
It’s because every 3 or so months you like to pop back in my life and shake things up
And not in the way I like
I stick around for the sob story, even though it has been played so much I can only imagine you are running low on new ideas to rail me in
I am wet cement and you are the huge, heavy boot print stomping your way through me
You ignore the “proceed with caution” sign
You like to piss all over me, marking your territory
Whether it’s a wound on me physically or just mentally
You like to make an entrance for yourself
And you love when I notice you, when I feed your starving ego
You like to remind me that I still am no good for you yet you wrap yourself around me the minute I let you
I cradle you like you didn’t just gnaw into my arm, like you didn’t just add to my collection of scars
Like I didn’t have enough already
I thought I’d be the only one person to rip at my flesh
And I have the nerve to disrespect myself and still choose to keep making amends
With a dude who has been nothing but lesson after lesson
But for some reason
Tearing myself from you
Felt like trying to sleep without any weed
When you can’t get that piece of corn out your teeth
It’s like walking a path of burning coles on your knees
Basically it’s fucking uncomfortable
For some reason you alone at my door, or my window at night, seems inviting so I ignore the smell of liquor pouring from your mouth and let you say your piece
I push down the feeling of not being worth communication when you are sober and I swallow that bitch
For some fucking reason
Just like I swallow my pride when I see you and we apologize when instead I’d rather see you cry the way I’ve cried
But what if I’m your judgement
What if I’m the one who Helps you break the cycle of breaking other women
I like to try to convince myself of that
my best bet is hiding
Because blocking you on social media is not enough
So I will continue to check my windows, check my locks
Jump at the knocks at my door
I will continue to keep a close eye on my safety
Until I have moved and you can’t find me anymore
