Love On Evergreen Read Count : 80

Category : Poems

Sub Category : N/A

No, my blinds are not broken because I am a nosey neighbor 

It’s because I am a paranoid one 

It’s because every 3 or so months you like to pop back in my life and shake things up

And not in the way I like 

I stick around for the sob story, even though it has been played so much I can only imagine you are running low on new ideas to rail me in 

I am wet cement and you are the huge, heavy boot print stomping your way through me 

You ignore the “proceed with caution” sign 

You like to piss all over me, marking your territory 

Whether it’s a wound on me physically or just mentally 

You like to make an entrance for yourself 

And you love when I notice you, when I feed your starving ego 

You like to remind me that I still am no good for you yet you wrap yourself around me the minute I let you 

I cradle you like you didn’t just gnaw into my arm, like you didn’t just add to my collection of scars 

Like I didn’t have enough already 

I thought I’d be the only one person to rip at my flesh 

And I have the nerve to disrespect myself and still choose to keep making amends 

With a dude who has been nothing but lesson after lesson 

But for some reason 

Tearing myself from you

Felt like trying to sleep without any weed 

When you can’t get that piece of corn out your teeth

It’s like walking a path of burning coles on your knees 

Basically it’s fucking uncomfortable 

For some reason you alone at my door, or my window at night, seems inviting so I ignore the smell of liquor pouring from your mouth and let you say your piece 

I push down the feeling of not being worth communication when you are sober and I swallow that bitch 

For some fucking reason 

Just like I swallow my pride when I see you and we apologize when instead I’d rather see you cry the way I’ve cried 

But what if I’m your judgement 

What if I’m the one who Helps you break the cycle of breaking other women 

I like to try to convince myself of that 

my best bet is hiding 

Because blocking you on social media is not enough 

So I will continue to check my windows, check my locks 

Jump at the knocks at my door

I will continue to keep a close eye on my safety  

Until I have moved and you can’t find me anymore 

Comments

  • i like it

    Apr 28, 2020

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