Category : Diary/Journal

Sub Category : N/A

   When I was growing up I seriously didn't fear much. I use to even say "I an't scared of nothing, but that's what scares me most". I am older now than I ever thought I was gonna be. I had myself convinced I wouldn't make it past 25. Lived the larger part of my late teens and then my early 20s, only caring about haveing a good story to tell. I had this deep rooted fear of growing old, but it wasn't even just the age that scared me. It was far more a fear of growing old and having nothing of intrest to say. Simply wasting away the last of my days on the porch complaining about the how loudthe kids on my block are. Then just like that, the fade to black and hardly wrote a sentence for my obituary.  
  
  So in order to counteract that dwelling concern of my words being boring before I even spoke them. My life was one 10 year long party. One misadventure to the next, always accompanied by drugs and alchohol. Constantly putting myself in increasingly more dangerous and absurd situations. Holy Smokes though do j have tale to tell. One after another, I got story's about my story's. I forget sometimes when I tell a story, of who I'm even tell it to. Just your everyday normal ned, drinks a couple beers on the weekends in the garage listing to Led Zeppelin. Never experienced a 10 year blur of depravity and scumball living. 
  
   Something scary and unforeseen happened a overcorrection on my part. As I was telling this story I previously deemed unbelievable and out of this world, proved to be just that. I began to watch ned go from "No Way, Thats Crazy" to a look of "you're full of shit and I'm not gonna believe a word that comes out your mouth". I have actualization of sorts that my biggest fear could actually be worsened. Contemplating if having nothing to say is really all that bad, because now I wanna talk people's ears of and their not even listening.....