Category : Blogs

Sub Category : Miscellaneous

Today, I would like to share a personal note and reflection about knowing God. 

 I was pondering about the almost successive negative events in my life that made me draw these questions to myself. 

 What if Science had a perfect and CONCRETE EXPLANATION about Creation, will I still believe in the existence of God? What if ALL my prayers were NEVER answered the way I want it to be heard, will I still have faith in Him? What if I never had catechism lessons and never attended the mass even once, will I still know Him? What if I was a TOTAL FAILURE in every facet of life, will I still trust and hope in God?


This is quite embarrassing but I couldn’t even utter an ABSOLUTE YES to all these questions. Then I realized, my knowledge about Him is merely skin-deep. When I am faced with burdens and troubles in life, I tend to forget all the wonderful events and miracles that God has bestowed on me million times but instead I focus on the events that hurt me. I remember when I was depressed, I even asked someone the question, “Do you think I will ever be happy in life"? I felt really bad after I have said that because that sounded like I have never been happy after all. That was very ungrateful for me to say the fact that I did rejoiced multiple times with all my endeavors in life which He made possible. God shook my faith a little and I got totally blown away. 

 I have not fully grown in faith because my relationship with God is confined with the thought of my-kind-of-happiness. Never did I remember that just like any other relationships, it comes with pain and suffering that leads beyond a surface level happiness when outdone. I err. I’m afraid I will never know Him in breadth because He is infinite but I’d like to know and love him in depth by accepting hardships with joy in my heart as the first but huge step.

 On the other hand, there is no need for us to question how well God knows us. In Matthew 10:30, it is stated: "And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered". With that, it seemed to me that God knows us down to our finest details. So here’s my thought: “Isn’t it flattering that God gives us problems that are seemingly impossible to handle”?