Category : Books-Fiction

Sub Category : Fantasy

Hey this is just a little project I'm working on and it's not complete yet but I figured I'd share a bit. Hopefully I can keep at it. Anyway sorry I left it off the way it is. Please enjoy.
1.  My mother once told me I could achieve anything I put my mind to. Obviously growing up being your normal teen I didn't take much stock in those words and carried on with foolish behavior. My mom took care of me, even spoiled me. I never put much effort into anything actually. Well of course that was until she got sick. Now I got to try and put my best foot forward.
2. Mathews my name and delivery's the game. I got my first job recently to help take care of mom. It's nothing special honestly. I drive around in a big truck and drop off crap people impulse buy on the internet. I suppose it's alright as far as jobs go. But I'm used to mom taking care of me not the other way around. I've been pretty useless my 20 years of life... 
3.  It's been a few weeks now and the money is going out as fast as it comes in. Chemo treatments are dam expensive. I don't really care about the money though I just want mom to get better. I tell her every day how much I love her. Please get better...
4.  Picked up a second job. I stock shelves at a local grocery store at night. I get a few hours of sleep here and there.
5.  Two months of nonstop work now. Moms doing a little better although shes upset about the loss of her hair. Boss at the grocery gave me a bonus for all the hard work. $600 for a wig but I think it'd be worth it to see her smile.
6.  I got the wig ordered hope it comes in soon.
7.  I fell asleep driving my delivery truck today and ran over a couple mail boxes. Long story short I got fired... I need to find more work and soon!
8. I'm falling behind on payments and it's really starting to stress me the hell out. But it's not all bad, the wig came in today. Mom was so happy, it's been awhile now since I've seen her smile so much. Time to look harder for another job!
9.  Got a job working 12 hours a night in a factory. It's hard hot work but the pay is good. I'm making a little more than my last two jobs put together. The overtime helps along with the nighttime differential. I think I'm going to be able to catch up on the bills. Hang in there mom. 
10.  The cancer has spread...
11.  I don't know what to do anymore. I'm working hard to pay these bills while she's laying in a hospital bed getting worse and worse. Where the fuck is all my money going! Isn't it supposed to be making her better? Are the doctors even trying? I'm working my ass off here can't they do the same? She the only family I've got left...
12.  Mom came home today... I think this was the hardest talk I've ever had in my life. They suspended treatment. If I'm lucky I'll only be able to spend another month with her. I think I need to quit my job and focus on what little time we have left together.
13.  I quit. I spend most of the day taking care of her now. It's hard watching her unable to eat. It's hard watching her being unable to care for herself. But the hardest part is seeing her weak smile as she slowly fades away. Even now she wants what's best for me. She even told me she was sorry I quit my job to take care of her. Mom you don't have to be sorry you're the most important person in the world to me. I can't even think about myself in this situation.
14.  Today was so beautiful. Mom asked me to take her to the old nature preserve. So I did just that. It was slow getting her into the car and getting over there, but honestly it was worth it.
Her smile was so strong it out shined the beautiful scenery around us. I think I spent a good hour trying to burn the image into my mind. It was a good day she even kept some food down. She told me "Mathew you're the best son a mother could ask for, and remember you can achieve anything you set your mind to. So don't let this hold you back, stay strong, and carry on, I'll always love you". We spent another hour there before I could control my crying enough to get us back home.
15.  Mom didn't wake up this morning. Rest In Peace Patricia Bennett, you're the best mother a son could ever dream for.
16.  We may not have had lots of family but my mom definitely was loved by lots of friends. The funeral was hard. I still can't believe that all of her fit in that tiny urn. After though, when we got to the nature preserve it felt as if my heart had snapped in two. The wind carried her ashes off and part of my heart with it.
17. I'm fucking pissed! Debt collectors already up my ass! Can't you let a man grieve before you stomp on him! Fuck you, fuck the doctors, and most of all fuck me! If only I tried harder or if I'd work harder, earlier. Didn't waste years of my life doing nothing. Then maybe... 
18.  I don't have anything left except my journal. Bank took everything to pay off the medical and funeral bills. I've got a tent. I think I'll go live near mom for awhile.
19. Went to the library read up on wilderness survival. I tell you what it's a lot harder in practice then the books say.
20.  Getting the hang of things. Built a little hut with materials in the forest. I've got a decent food supply now. It was looking rough for a few weeks there.
21.  Might take my life, I don't know... What do you think journal?
22.  Turns out I'm too much of a coward to take the easy way out. Things keep getting better too! A lovely storm came in and tore all my shit down. Dam near died but oh well guess I'm not that lucky. How the hell did you even survive that storm Journal?
23. Hey Journal I think you need a name let me get back to you.
24. I did some digging and I think I'll name you Eirene. Apparently it means peace. It's kind of ironic sense I'm such a mess but hey doesn't mean you have to be too.
25.  Sorry it's been so long Eirene I had to fix camp and get back some normalcy. Had a dream about mom last night. Woke up in tears but I think it helped me a little. I'm going to go to the library and read up on meditation, mom said I could do anything I set my mind to, but first I got to get that wreck sorted out. However I think I'm going to talk to Beth my old boss first and see if she'll let me take a shower. I'm pretty ripe almost worse than a dead fish smell. Good thing you don't have a nose!
26.  According to Beth I smelt a lot worse than a dead fish she practically threw me in the shower herself. She's good people, but I couldn't keep a conversation going and had to leave shortly after. I felt kind of bad turning down her job offer but I'm just not ready to be part of the world again. I guess I'm still bitter. However I do have these books on meditation, though they're kind of bland. Hope I'm not making you seem the same way Eirene. Anyway I'll talk to you later and update you on this titillating information I acquire.