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I thought I had fallen out of love with him. I wanted to hate him but I didn't. He often crossed my mind, sometimes several times a day. Was he happy, did he miss me, was he in love with her like he had been with me at one time? How did two people who had spent endless nights together, laughed together, cried together, almost died together, end up with nothing together? Where is my friend? I didn't think we would ever go this long without speaking. Although he was now a memory, I had so much to share with him. Funny things that I knew would make him laugh was now being told to someone else. The mere thought of running into him in public excited me. You see, I knew that us being apart was in Gods plans. We had loved each other so dangerously at one point. Some people didn't understand how we had stayed together for as long as we had. And now I was with someone else. A man with a plan and a good head on his shoulders. And I'm happy w/ this man. But I do wish I could have my ex friend back. Just to hear his voice & know that we've forgiven each other for all the pain we caused. All the lies we told, every bad word we cursed on each other, every tear that fell down our faces. If we could laugh over old jokes, reminisce on past adventures & learn the things about us that are new. Until that day comes I will continue to love the man that I am With and just hope that my ex friend is as blessed as I am...