Category : Stories

Sub Category : YoungAdult

My name is esmerelda Hernandez,I'm 28 yrs old at the moment,I am a taurus,I love arts and crafts and anything to make my mind think (sudoku,crosswords etc.). I'm absolutely in love with all animals. I have 1 child. Besides all that I also live with lupus. I was diagnosed at the young age of 15. Since then I've had multiple surgeries including kidney biopsys,Port implants,fisculas,I've had an ileostomy surgery,an ileostomy reversal,my tubes removed because I'm unable to bare anymore children,I've had severe internal bleeding to the point of near death,I've undergone many rounds of chemotherapy to rid my body of my immune system due to lupus,another ileostomy surgery. I've had over 60 blood transfusions just to keep me barely alive,I've had to make that dreadful call to family because I was that close to death. Many many blood draws and tests to see if I'm improving or not. Currently I am in stage 4 renal failure. I've undergone years of dialysis and missed so much of life because I was hospitalized so often. Because of my immune system or lack there of I catch any and every sickness that in a normal person would be minor but for me it's fatal.ive nearly bled out on a hospital floor in front of my child simply walking to the restroom. I used to have a mother but recently she chose her own life over me and my brother so now I'm not only trying to stay ahead of of disease and support my son but now I have a brother that I'm guardian to. You may ask how in the hell am I able to continue,how am I able to wake up every day and do what I do. I can't give you any other answer except that regardless my situation there are 2 boys that rely on me,that need me to be here. I fight severe depression and anxiety as well as chronic pain every day but I have to do it. I can't give up because then I leave behind 2 boys that have no one else. Don't get me wrong,I've thought about giving up countless times and this time last year I almost did. Living with this incurable and fatal disease is nothing simple. By any means. But I do it. All I can do is hope and keep faith that I will be able to fight long enough to see my son graduate,see my brother graduate,live long enough to see my grandchildren and nieces and nephews. The chances are highly unlikely but I promised them I would try my damnedest. I plan to keep that promise. Regardless how many more surgeries,seizures,pain,chemo etc,I will fight,I will fight until God calls me home. If you are dealing with lupus or know someone who is,the best thing you can do is be there for them. Just because we don't "look" sick on the outside doesn't mean that this disease should be taken lightly. So love those you know,check up on them,tell them you love them every chance you get and most of all be patient. Because they are battling an unseen monster every day of their life. Hug them and reassure them that you are and will always be there for them because most times we feel like we are all alone in this fight. I'm sharing this story because it needs to be better understood. Thank you for reading. Wishing you the strength and encouragement. Don't give up.