Category : Books-Fiction

Sub Category : Fan-fiction

My choice clear on this grand morning. This wonderful life, I am living from the end... as I am no longer fractured... or confused...I am whole and confidently decided, fully aware of my desires fulfillment... I am free from want, satisfied in that knowledge of my desire fully experienced, even surpassed in its realization... I am grateful...more capable of gratitude in this rich life experience ... I am so happy to be in grateful state for everything that I have, this gratitude alone is the central dynamo of my expanding fortune...though Jesus, Father the Lord God is the source... I am the op-rent and power... my own choices of thought, feeling and belief are always becoming my wonderful moments of life. I need not wallow in dramas turbulent currents... I am merely feeling it real with all my strength all my heart mind and soul... I bring it into my life from within... the bridge of incident is all the world can see but I know from Christ it had come and not from the world... I am free from the former things that burden those whom believe in the physical... my new pathway leads out of these worlds forever...for eternities we stay under the yolk-el of our own oppression which is War it is Famine, disease, death...its all the unlovely things brought about by the same power that can free us... once we realize that we are the evil and the good... that indeed we draw unto ourselves our entire life by thought by imagination by belief... we experience every moment...I am completely responsible for my own experience... by more than just interpretation, I create every detail of my life... running through these fields of greatness with my sword, lopping off the heads of doubt, of wavering decision I have no hesitation... there is no doubt... just strength... only God's might, God's power which is right inside my very self... without loss of personality I die to the little I, every day... ever morning... I die to old belief, reborn in a new belief, that is not weak or of no effect as my former little I, was... God of the living... as certainly I was dead when I believed I was my body... I am not my body ... I am the power that animates the plastic body, this vehicle that God rides within until its exit from this stage, God remains only the body gone...this world of dramas played out for reasons I do not seem to understand or know... the purpose certainly shrouded in mystery for some reason...hidden from my understanding which itself keeps me from understanding that I am God... I also do not understand... but I do know all my-selves pushed out are conspiring to serve my great purpose which is the will of God... in my experience of desires fulfillment I move closer to the knowledge I seek in my heart of hearts...the will of God is my own desires, all becoming my experience as each actor in my world plays their part to fulfill perfection of my personal perception... my life the fulfillment of God's law, the fulfillment of scripture...all my desires are God communicating his will to me...I have hurled myself into time and space, and shall return to the great hand that cast me into this dream above dreams...My desires are God stirring to awaken within me... My Kingdom must be being restored... continuously... experiencing my desires being fulfilled...I am completely grateful for the truth that has set me free...lifted to a level far beyond the level of the spectator... I am cast in the central role of this play... consummating my bliss, in this incarnated body yet fully understanding the power that gives it life...can the former corrupted man be forever dead. As the current younger man be forever alive...Or is there a process of awakening every-morning and dying to the old man...the old way of thought belief ... and through dedication to my radical change of attitude...is the new young attitude...my renewed faith, I am grown powerful in faith, by faith, and not by myself ...but through Christ within me whom made clear God's will within me... It is not I, but God within I that has wrought the great works that I am....Jesus Christ is in me, my incarnated body, the temple of God... Of just myself... I am nothing, only realizing... God is in me has brought power into my life, ...only moving by imaginal action directed by Christ's wonderful, presence in me as my imagination... has brought happiness, success, joy... health, wisdom... fortune... Grace forever expanding in my life now ...only by God within in me... only by that power have I known greatness...always was that greatness right inside me, greatness that is me but Christ/God within me...this unending profession of small internal changes of my own perspective is the corner stone rejected by man, it is discounted as ineffective, and this discounting makes so an ineffectiveness only true for him... but as for me I no longer serve those ineffective states of mind... my gathered strength radiating outwardly from within cannot be denied... I do not care for the old ways that only brought the misery that doubters still wallow within for eternities measures...I am the central character in this saga of success... a success that has come up out of its sibling of failure... the perseverance my saga of success is at first harder than continued bearing of familiar failure... but now having broken free from its gravity I am drawn toward my fulfilled desires in experience faster than my certainty of their fulfillment is heard in my confident inner speech of right thought being spoken in masterful eloquence for myself... I am no longer hopelessly mired in wrong belief the duality, I have abandoned for the singular eye... the unwavering vision of the desire fulfilled... I am through the trials of testing faith and deeply within the knowledge or unshakable certainty that God had left my solution in my very self to be used as his sacred unfailing law, until his promise transforms me I to his own immortal self... my gratitude is not insincere though those whom still carry insincerity will see it as such... so I understand that they are burning away the dross from themselves as we all must ... ask I have and may still be doing... for it is simple to understand that i am still here in this world ... a cradle to rear up God... I emerge as a child growing into the responsibility, I must be practicing until my purpose beyond this responsible awareness arises to instruct my thought to its direction... we all need Love, Purpose and Dollars...this is not wrong... only worshiping all or any of the three is wrong... but even the wrong are saved... so I myself fear not for me or others... I am free from the former things that burden those whom believe in physical experience as all that is...hunger, awaken and return to the kingdom of your real birth... the birth that is not of a woman... run the race, fight the good fight keep the faith... within you radiating... stands one you do not know... yourself with whom you made a covenant long ago, or before this remembering the central symbol awakened... time evaporating your comprehension expanded well beyond this ignorance that we falsely thought wisdom... collapsing artifice of corruption failing them as they return to our place of consciousness return to simple understanding that surpasses man's greatest understanding.... realizing I dream and that we are each the same forgiving all evils, not seeking recompense, and still many turn blind and trek off down the dark valley saying we are not one... we are many. these crude formations of expression. Joyful child shattered and stained with colors. Dripping with paint. I allow myself this wallowing in words. Fresh and new, pristine... without any blemish, though present through all time. Smiles at me, the awestruck child. The ignorance of bliss overriding the self proclaimed authority of nothing. How it remains pure is a mystery, I have been here these few tiny years and have been stained through and through. I suppose I should cleanse what I believe somehow has form Through the world's ages. Somehow remaining untouched, somehow still unmoved by the flowing Stream of the dream. Somewhere that innocence remains... Without any concern. Thoughts, all like fractured strings that entwine again together as one woven rope. I make no effort to weave Secretly banning the arrogance ... I fostered and fed. Hollywood, Television, Internet dead. Turning from brainwash, all your heil hiltler noises. Your greed sets the tones of your bright shinny poses. Plastic playthings, worn well with your use, my invention... your perception a choice made in faith your intention. thwarted in fear to play in school yard. Call me a dirt eating, weird...ass... nonsensical retard. Twisting the meanings of things that you see, that is the downfall of short apogee. Biblical, worldly do not mix together, you make your own bed, under own chosen weather. Original sin is not your contention. Sin is an arrow that missed its seat at convention. If murders your power then murder you must. Kill all the messengers with power of lust. Rusty, dusty, Hollywood's face... now hiding spectre of schoolyard disgrace The hour has come, our twilight or sunrise, the dawning or sunset...for both are always present, at the falling rising hour...and we are one ...no matter how mind pushes away truth... I take you to meet Jesus, you yourself... Allah, Buddha, Krishna...Odin...Zeus...call yourself what you will, you are God... I am you pushed out from yourself, both we are, I am... he laid down within man and dreamed his dreams of eternity... we are the tombs that heavenly father lays within... deadly dreams of good and evil conquered by mind and speech... yours alone...the one undergoes a realization...a realization beyond gender, or race... and it rises from Golgotha from where he was crucified within your skull... it has been three days, or longer, but look upon the world... and seeing ourselves in this place, are you surprised that man treads in his ignorance for millennia?... never awakening screaming, killing forcing his "correct" idea upon others in offence over words or in offence over long standing institutions of thought...at the point of his sword...killing anyone whom does not agree and bend the knee... are we at all surprised that it has been two-thousand years... or so you are told to believe...and still they wait and die...reading scripture and still not understanding that Jesus Christ is within them... still they wait for something to appear from without...false teachings everywhere but within them as they keep looking outwardly for a savior...even the vague essence they do not know...even the misunderstood scriptures they cannot understand for they still believe this world is real...and somehow they are their bodies... the force of violence they do believe for fear makes a strange perspective dominate the incarnate mind...its perfectly ok... we are only doing God's will ...they do grow close with their lips, but in their hearts ... in their hearts... I am with you always even until the end of the age... and he will allow you to wait for eternity... the great eternity... he is you... what seems to be is, to those it seems to be...even unto damnation's, torments, and unto death... I am...and that I am, is eternal... and cannot be deceived... Jesus Christ is within you, why do you look to somewhere else other than in yourself?... the unwavering vision of the desire fulfilled...is the living within the law, and the desire is fulfilled in the incarnated world... fulfilled law... going through the furnaces is our cleansing, if a fiery furnace is not hell then you are welcome to your visions... to your own revelation...I know that the only hell there is...is this world right here and now... and this body is like a straight jacket, in comparison to actual self ... that I am... the unwavering vision of blue skies are beautiful and he comes upon the clouds deception if allowed the flowery words of the serpent to capture your mind... to allow yourself to live in eternal damnation's....telling you have made your choices and so have sewn... telling everyone what is right or wrong... or seeing right and wrong outside yourself....always finding fault in all these things round about you... You are the only flawed perception in perfection you are the source of your own creation....but rarely does a human recognize their harvest and they try to blame anyone.... Anything...others...the devil... the government.. but they will not blame themselves the sewer of the seeds...identify ... identified ...by sensual perception a familiar trap ... have I labored in vain long enough to abandon this world and pick up a truth that tears off the masks the pretenders wear... we all wear...casting out the demonstrations that they must continually reinforce in a world of precepts of principalities of corruption at the seeming highest levels... but your eyes have lied... your ears deceived you... your touch has not brought you to his presence...yet imagination the cornerstone... that mankind has rejected... illuminating the way that these words cannot speak of... in imagination I labor without recompense or its expectation... the cornerstone... imagination... surely rejected... I do not care for the old ways and do not care for the blinds description of the world telling me they can see the way ... I am that I am... I am enough, I do not need permission nor do I ask for it... I am creating the script of this story to my own advantage... I am creating it morning into noon and through the night... this fabulous world, the whole vast world is only the appeasement of hungers... I am in the word, that proceeds from my mouth into this world and it's solidified forms encompassing me round about... I have conquered these lower pathways that opened inside my very self, to experience the desire I held in faith until the end of the stories next chapter... I have food that is my mind and speech, bringing me the higher knowledge that these words cannot express.... I reject the false idols of money, of power of all the illusory constructs made to deceive us from the truth...all the weaknesses that deny the true power within us, but I need not reject moneys usefulness...I need not deny powers might...I need not deny myself an appropriate, wealth and opulence ....as we all each one called then cannot be denied the final journey away from this globe and toward some unknown higher education that has not yet begun... I am abundant and successful with my own dreams of limitless joy evolving into greater chapters... he was wished until he were... the history of the family of Jacob, the sleeve severed, reveals the arm of God... it is not secular history... just as a sinners secular history does not exclude him from the entrance... the bible's revel-atory interpretation is not as it appears and one must be called to have the vision... and the brilliant minds of the world will always see the real answer as foolishness... so I move without a step, 10,000 steps through this world take me nowhere, I step into myself within and without the worlds approval... the answer that always was right here with me, nearer than hands or feet ...is found... within ...I am in the power denied me by this world's spiritual "elite", ...they perish and find no reward...as only within myself... David calls me father, and governments, corporations, churches... the standing armies of the world have no power over me... my reward not in this world, unless it is the gold and silver, and power that men wrongly pursue in their hearts...missing the mark...The living single God within me has brought my understanding outside the little incarnated mind whom never could understand the nature of the dream it is trapped within... extracted from the dreaming, no organization can transcend... no thing but your own personal revelation can set you free, not these words, not these worldly failing demonstrations of Ceasers power but real power that you will witness if of a mind to be a witness ... wrought of mind that believes itself separate from God... Cease only has worldly power... I speak of power beyond worldly power that some may call magic...it is not magic, but Gods law...so the stiff necked will always find their excuse...its perfectly ok... the hard of heart will not even need an excuse, its perfectly alright... they live by the law and die by it... indeed there is no right or wrong use of it...as he brings to the evil as well as the good... for the evil as well as the good, God's law works... no matter our perspective or belief... conscious revealing of God's law is believing in the reality of your imaginal acts and witnessing them being experienced by yourself and others without doubt...Since they believe only in loves and fish, God brings you These and more... I am the op-rent and power... do our imaginal actions always come true, I say the imaginal actions held in your real intent always come "true", for this world is made of the same substance as your dreams...it is your perception that is flawed and here and now is only perfection... You are moving toward the total understanding of that perfection and even your own wrong thought, cannot harm you... no matter your convictions of that wrong...you are saved and cannot be harmed...no matter your belief and monstrous things you make real you are saved...it is your ignorance that is harmed... it is the mask being pulled from you, that causes a pain that is not real... You cling and fight and refuse to let go... even into the horrors of death, which is revealed again as no horror...illusions.... your pain revealed as phantoms as illusions you had to keep puffed up or they disappear into no form...into nothing that is eternal... they are exposed as the fraud you perpetrated upon yourself... you are never in pain but what you think you are struggles for your full attention to keep itself from disappearing...you are a cosmic being, containing all people and the entire earth within you, even that ...a small wonder in your presence...If too feeble in faith for a reading of these little entries ...from a dear child... as you can, drink the milk, until you can eat meat... scriptures rightly interpreted will unfold within you... you cannot think of it from separateness... you must see it with a singular eye... knowing all is one, and God, Jesus, Satan they all were and are one God, as there is only one God... but you must be called... you must see it for yourself, otherwise doubt will always shoot you down... your own doubt will stop you ...until your conviction is like one iron rod... until your sight is single sight... your belief in two... in separations continue... if willing but unable to allow courage to deny your senses... your conviction grows past your old fears, and you see the one God eventually, hear him ...know him within you...as he is you... Awakened within your own skull, the wind had stirred you to awaken, a birth from within the tomb of your own skull...within your own skull... Golgotha... break the shell and rise above the dream in this darkness and ignorance of dead men walking... whom still believe this world of death is real... for them it shall remain perfectly believable...roll the stone away and be born out of that tomb...God is in spirit, and is born in your awareness, he was always there asleep, dreaming that he was you... awakened... you know whom you truly are...I am God... and not moved by transient man's limited visions of incarnated world... these passing sounds cannot reduce the awareness that every baby is born with, and every adult can see in those baby's eyes and face pouring out as spiritual light...as radiant innocence...as unrestricted trust, love beauty beyond man's engineered beauty...So ruined in both worlds, the spiritual and the physical I seem to have left myself no option but to become that what I must be. The fool of the world...A sense of purposeless moves me to pity myself, but for how long?...how long can I do nothing in my earnest search for a purpose... for a place to be in the world, for a place to call home... pity makes a poor vantage to search from...the impending realization that I shall drift continually is not in its crystalline form, a reason to be sad... but some "programming" in my sense of whom I am ...must be triggering a sense of sadness...the fool of the world... I must believe at some deeper level that I need the purpose and this home, neither of which I have, and furthermore, detailed self scrutiny reveals to me a definite lack of the intrinsic qualities required to possess a purpose or this so called home... To have a purpose in life... one would need a desire to aim for... a goal to attain... and knowing an expectation such as this... is really only an invitation for foolish disappointment... I have resigned myself to a ghost like phantom of existence... a hiding in the shadows of life without a reason to do so... making a fool of myself wisdom waits with me, itself a ghost as well...We are brothers... It seems that this is my home this constant transient, motion of no home... and thus an inability to define a desired purpose through the necessity of never ending searching for the next park bench to sit upon ...and be aware of nothing from... I must keep moving from place to place lest the constable catch me slipping and take me to the local pound for euthanizing... for having no purpose and no home today I can assure you is a definite crime. And being A fool is worse than murder...A crime punishable by death or worse...so how to break free from my paradigm, my world view...how to change my perspective on what is "real" in my life...how do I discover a purpose and find a home? Well by design my own so called government...or department of genocides payment... my own so called "social services", or department of genocides organization...my own systems of societal control and engineering have been the very sources of my confusion... for I tried to play by all the rules...for decades I followed all the laws, paid the bills the taxes the fees... and now I'm hunted as a common criminal...by the system I served in good faith... I participated in community events and made all the right hail Hitler noises... and still I was targeted for elimination by the very system I served so diligently...still there is something about me the Nazis whom today hide in the guise of progressive liberals... or new conservatives...they the hidden fascists do not approve of me... they will not tell me what my transgression is... no one explains to me that the haves, want to destroy all the have nots... and worse than the poor have nots is foolish artists, dancer freaks of expression...no one explains that their is a deep sickness that has infected the souls of prideful man... and I remain running like a fugitive whom has committed no crime... as never one informed... a fool...I have invented and even played out all the great reasons why I run, but fabrications each one ...that they the confused lap up like flies on honey, almost as though they want to show me my purpose... they say to me my purpose is to lie to them ... but that is no purpose...lies for liars is no good circle...but perhaps it's serves to advertise the concert only for the corrupted...in that circles closed loop... Even I the fool of this world can see that my own fantasy and allegory of symbolic expression of God... whom moves deep within me shinning out no matter how faint... is more an expression of art than any of the fearful bureaucratic servants of evil can conceive of... and this is why they seek to destroy my shine... they seek to destroy the ability I have to show others that God is shining out from within them as well... perhaps most of whom are too dim to see, only blind automatons following their programming, procedure and protocols like cogs in a horrible machine, but those higher up the chain of command whom are purely evil servants of the spirit that destroys all life, including them once they are no longer useful... once the destruction is complete the last form of evil dies to itself, too late realizing it has no energy to leech from any other form... not understanding it merely moved everyone into a greater realm... it shall not be allowed to even see... too late understanding it was a mere servant of power beyond its own comprehension... and so I should not be too saddened in this world of purposeless feeling...this world of no home... for is it not a motion I must make like a satellite across the night sky, silent steady traverse from dark horizon to dark horizon that tiny point of light reflected is I... as they endure the entire night, in their homes...in darkness...with a sense of purpose... I far above can still see the sun, and reflect a dim beam of its light, off of my surface downward to them, as I go in this high altitude run across the sky...stage... so is that not some vague expression of God's presence reflected in artistic metaphor back unto them?... though so few grasp the brass ring of my projected forms of the creators shinning into the minds cradle to grow greater understanding of this dreaming world's purpose for us all... even the fool having his place banging on railings all the way down the stairs...and is my home not this body of which has jeweled splendors of grace...and metal greater than gold... strength beyond platinum... and beauties beyond man's ideas of what should be... and what should not... transcendence away from mediocrity that is harnessed to destroy us ...I am immune from all those contrived weapons of pitifully employed fear...within the hollow crown that grounds the mortal temples of the King, keeps death his watching antics...my little pen boring through your castle walls to destruction of the kingdom of intent the deathly fears of mans greatest regret fails once again to correct the courses that the wise have taken in stupidity... ordinary criminals and never having wisdom but wearing it as robes, strutting in arrogance parading...through popular publication as though their lies were somehow greater than the truths that find no place on the sales floor...criticize and criminalize the truth ...quickly criticize the truth lest we be found out...exposed in the fraud we commit against them... and so great empire falls to ruin ... mismanaged by those whom cannot have children or care about the future of them... my music dancing in the sound that leads the corrupted from their intent allowing the escape of many while they wallow in drunken revelry ...my concert ensues until the faithful are all hidden in the wilderness unknown to the machine that had never been there to protect anyone... I the fool of the world was never deceived by lies that the impostors spoke too sweetly too often... too many flowery descriptions in my nose, covering the foul air that they really were... and wisdom in its own weakness felt it needed no soldiers to keep it from harm, now wisdom dead...with me we the fool and the wisdom ghosts haunt anywhere undetected... documented liars parade as wisdom in the world and know nothing of it...guardians of the ten directions all as well usurped, all secretly murdered and replaced with thieves... so destruction cannot be stopped, but the break away civilization shall not be the planned one of the corrupted rich and powerful, but the secret refugees we were able to smuggle into the forests and mountains... for the vanity of mans power shall not destroy earth... only he himself destroyed as he leaves it in his massive flying coffins ejected into the outer darkness... only they perish... so I should rejoice and know that my purpose was held in the heart of the highest, and given me only at the proper time... the great battle in the heavens here are long past history and civilization has sprung up and now prolific..I bask, gratefully in my beautiful home as I write moral story fables of instruction to quell the shadows that lurk the eternal light, crystallizing through my form, a seemingly solid body and wispy vague invisible soul, together here in experience... as this self I think I am... which is my own learned, practiced conception of self....My conception of what I believe I am, evolving through its changes into the realization that I am God, this realization is no end but a sure beginning...because no one here on this planet is able to tell me anything I don't already know...though they do try to sell that notion don't they?... and no person outside myself can make the decisions necessary for me to grow beyond this experience of being among people whom know nothing more than I do... So this beginning is some distant notion, of becoming more than I am here now, which indeed is the misconception....I keep in my intent... to be better ...to be more, to know and feel more... to expand awareness into more...and live more... but my idea of what that all is ...and how to get there... is totally open to the intuitive process... going on within me alone...right now...and the voices of the world, always reveal themselves to me by the use of their language...but from here as a human awareness.... I hold the intent as a desire, that I wish to experience...the desire to know how to be God... not having any memory of that experience of being God... I believe that I can attain my desire...for somewhere somehow...that cat escaped the bag and I have an intuitive understanding....of knowing I can attain my desire... if I continue its pursuit in a specific manor...though I wonder... would my understanding be so altered when reaching this awareness of being God, would the experience of its realization be so far removed from anything I recognize now, as to be completely alien to my perceptions capacity to understand it?... at least from here and now... I continue to desire that end...if only as an exercise for this moment right now...and perhaps I make too much of my searching in mind for the unknown experience...for the desire I have yet to attain... perhaps as usual, I over-complicate my desire in some subconscious self sabotage, as to be completely unable to attain that state of awareness I desire... by blocking it through my mental construct, of complicated overthinking...I obstruct the experience...with complexity born in some fear?... oh, so too much... I first reject the critical voices of ignorance that spring up all around me...stupidity and closed minded, psychoneurosis is pervasive in this newly focused physically dominated spiritual zoo of advanced game theory... I must learn to make more elegant my thoughts, to concentrate my power in simplicity, it is surely a way to mastery...surely to simplify the vision of the desire complete...it is surely more effective than focus upon external illusions which seek only domination over this transient costume...I wear in my role as the frothing mouthed madman whom disguises wisdom in a certain controlled madness that the superior pretenders cannot recognize...I live in the sense that my goal of being God is already attained...the world's opinion and approval is not necessary for my success...as the world's opinion and approval has never been necessary to anyone for anything... has power, as it is reflected everywhere in my world...been hidden deep within myself to be resurrected at some appropriate juncture that only my mysterious deep unknown self knows?...hidden in the simplicity of nature and in man's constructions ...of all kinds...these mysteries and these deep complexities my mind seems to dive and become stuck within....my deep diving into mysterious wonders must be disciplined and understood to be what they are for me ...what it is for me... perhaps for another they are different to be sure.... sure there is mind boggling complexity in nature and in man's inventions.. but how useful are those complicated mysteries to me in my living from desires fulfillment right now?...my vision of my desire complete is better served for me in simplicity and not complexities...call me stupid, call me peanut butter and jelly....I don't care...they must be somehow breathing the simplicity of invisible air to be reading this...and yet the autonomic ...over looked and taken for granted... controls almost everything in physical life....from an unknown background simplicity that the human mind seeks to over-complicate....to inflate itself in importance beyond its actual value....let my simple idea of the wish being fulfilled be slowed into a single realization without attached visions of their depths included... that I am already the desire I wish to attain...this is elegance.....grace.... and that confidence need not answer questions or be a mathematical formula... I need not probe something the incarnated mind cannot comprehend in the first place....but my practiced perception sets a distance between a sense of now and a sense of attainment which is always "then", at an imaginary future point in time...The ability to believe that all time and space is a single entity, which somehow myself, I think is a key to this simplicity in thought...all time is now...I seek to employ simplicity as a method to realization, knowing full well I have disallowed that realization in the past by over complicating my conception of it... streamlined thought to infinite experience to further prove to myself that indeed I am God, and that is the only evidence I need to present....to myself alone... to realize the fact that I alone am creating my whole experience without any superior deity in a position of authority over me... guiding...directing...me to realize, fully embrace and live through the knowing, the certainty that I alone am responsible for all my experience, this is the ultimate truth here... right here, right now... I am the creator of my desires fulfillment, my perception is fully my own... my understanding is a decision that I have made, a choice I alone have chosen...will continue to choose ... it is I whom perceives... no one perceives for me or through me... and "influence" is merely another choice I have made in experience...allowing someone else, to influence my thinking is also a choice...and perhaps the only way that "knowledge" has ever been transferred...is through one expressing...and another receiving...but it is the self alone that constructs its experience with the data and the contemplation of the fragments of data...made useful in wholeness....God is within me as me...I choose in Love, in Crystal clear awareness of what actually is... the fear is there sure... I do not deny or choose resistance to the sights and sounds, feelings that make their way into my awareness... I simply understand that I am responsible for perceiving them... I can embrace it all in a healing, living...life giving awareness that vibrates right through the all that is...into the all that is, through me...this piece of all that is in its progression toward success... is God expressing a greatness through me...and it only seems to come from me...really it is pulsating through me in powerful waves unstoppable ...so influence does demonstrate itself in a processes seemingly external to my physical form...expanding outward to touch every part of my blooming, evolving world of joys, rapturous symphony of vibrations alignments that triggers a firework display of abundance cascading into the realms of the needy... of love surging into the realms of the lonely... of healing growing strength instantly into the realms of the sick, disfigured or in-firmed...understanding is filling the minds of the confused and my own attributes are also increased as they are unlocked In this evolutionary growth...energy filling the bodies of the tired... direction known in certainty to the lost... our world brightening beyond the suns light in a vanquished past of former shadows gone... we are beyond the boundaries of the known and above the heights of the greatest achieved inventions of man... that our past wrought from necessity...is now created or aligned in realization for our understanding has become matured in wisdom...we allow a transformation that these feeble textual symbols cannot describe, as they are a part of an age past from my desires fulfillment...we communicate on levels that are pure fantasy from here in this mid evil place of the 21st century kleptocracy and technocratic tyranny... fear is a response of flesh, and our forms are no longer flesh... we are harmoniously interacting upon and within realms of beauty and grace that our current comprehension cannot imagine... we cannot know this immense greatness from this human perspective ...but we can "feel" after it...I cannot conceive of ...but I feel a greatness swelling within me that soars above all these little moments of my life that are like celluloid frames of old fashioned film, all brought together in now simultaneously happening...taking me into the heavenly Kingdom, surely a place in my heart and soul surely another construct of awareness just as this world is..consciousness here before this experience and here after its final scene...not of this world like shadows below... this spirit of ancient love is the source of light that animates the plastic illusions we are here on earth... going above to transcend my own limitations of thought and stagnated dead beliefs that seem so silly, so foolish from this wondrous place, that needs no ground, that has no oceans... that has no air or fire, because we ourselves are all the elements in their true source essence without any need to demonstrate themselves... I cannot find a way to explain... that my desire has risen far and away from the desires I once thought important... they fade to misty, essences of the falsehoods I once believed were real... our bodies are restrictive straight jackets, our speech feeble grunting and moans...here I am boundless... here my thought is known instantly to others whom are myself and the concept of separateness is a past misunderstanding of childishly viewed experience ...the unwavering vision of perfection is my normal average experience... but no less rich and rewarding as there is no time to dull it... as in this world below... of lifeless earthy, plastic dirty clay... our eternal light animates the whole play...this earth globe is a stage for spirits opera...life is musical and we dance to the rhythms...we are acting our parts in costumes of flesh that tear and tatter no matter how well you care for them... sweetly returned to dust my mask... my gratitude has found authenticity, that I never knew existed...that life was a life touching the rung that I am attaining to...the heaviness is gone ...the terrible psychological pain is disappeared into this lightness and wisdom, which is happiness that does not end...I climb to the next step upon the ladder as I must...as we all do...I am the central character in this saga of success here now, and these shadows have no power over me... I can let go of the temptation to see and tear apart... the inner workings of the toy I have been given, to be a part of the game I must play... I can be that beacon of light, I thought myself unworthy to shine out as ... outward shining eternal, be the light ...we all are free to choose... we are unshackled from the chains we forged in this seeming life, but it was the valley of death that we the immortal chose to walk through...in a forgetfulness of whom we really are... we walk in these costumes we play our roles to the hilt.... fully involved with our characters ...we have forgotten the backstage... and our real lives...we chose to experience death and it's horrid uncomfortable essence, to be aware of our great responsibility... to be empowered by the lesson that we alone create our world as God...as the source...as the King we rule over ourselves and no one outside us is superior to this truth...to never be uncertain that the power of life is in our tongue, and death can have no power over our authority...we conquered the self alone, and in that victory the world submits in tribute to us... the world is bent to my will and cannot disobey...these human textual musings, these words keyed low are not adequate to describe me ...but do give a brief glimpse into me... they make themselves useful in this short moment of contemplation about my choices, about my power over myself... and they do demonstrate the great mystery they posses in both worlds...this one and that greater one to come... my experience that I am choosing to have...these words this mind and speech are the workman's tools of spiritual construction...and the entire physical world springs up out of the spiritual arrangements within this sacred self...this day perhaps the best day of my life ...for some undeniable internal change is palpable in awareness ...it resonates like some sweet tone within me... being a healing whole essence that I am so grateful to be experiencing...so rewarded in this simple, powerful, awesome feeling of a single tone that is beyond a certainty or confidence or knowledge... it rises in a tender sound far above my understanding into something beyond greatness... beyond the God I am...beyond our notions of right or wrong...of any human conception of divinity... I am filled with an entirety of power... of life giving spiritual understanding ... that will sustain my experience far beyond many lifetimes, beyond time eternal... beyond forever there is a love that surrounded this world's universe and galaxy... and into unknown I chase after those coat-tails that keep me expanding with it...whatever it is...I do not know... my understanding is not yours and these textual symbols are but transient little fragments unable to encompass that which encompasses us... it is me in some great expansion... of mystery...as this me comes bolting outward from a contraction of this birth, of this life of myself into God... all this metaphor is stating again and again...is me taking full responsibility for all my worldly experience... that by my thought, belief and action I create or reveal my life... to myself in this action of imagination alone... in this simplicity of understanding I find some relief to the many seeming hardships of existing in ignorance ... for certainly I have not found life easy... by any stretch of imaginal power... but my new discovery... not new... but new to me... my great discovery of my responsibility is a very hopeful and healing practice of perception... that empowers and does not lead astray the empowered, but into freedom this self evolves...a relief from the former perception of hopelessness and quiet desperation indeed... for me... this new renaissance of thought, is a miracle of salvation... this practice...this discipline is moving me in positive directions that I have not known until now... my old way of life was not an example for others, my old way of perception not beneficial to myself or others... and my defiant expansion into this empowerment is a strong motivation for me to pursue dreams I've always thought unattainable... and now see as plausible and even probable if pursued in a specific manner...so definitely a healing or transformation of my baseline perception or world view or whatever you like to call it... call it potato salad, because I am moving in a positive direction internally and that is indeed a great accomplishment for me...so choices of focus, or choices of what to concentrate on seem to be next in the order of business of wordy descriptions and this is entirely up to me, and I don't think I want to say that some thing's are better than others because that is not freedom, and I like freedom... just as it is... so I won't try to say that this is better than that or you should focus on these things and not these things...because I feel there is something really suspicious in all that...its called beware of those that seek power....and their perception of power is thankfully just like a child's perception....freedom is and always has been dangerous... and those in this seeking of power over others do not appreciate danger or freedom... yes... the consequence of choices is inherently dangerous... but the nanny state of the current kleptocracy and corporate desire to limit choice is even more dangerous than freedom... so if you want the corporate sterilized artificial universe, of death and torment ...go for it... but you had better leave us freedom loving less than you individuals alone...yes I know you think your better than everyone else, so don't try to be humble your reeking self or be suddenly gracious...it has never suited you...besides if your involved with any of the fortune 500, I've already got all the white papers going back to 1982, and some dated long before that...because I'm a laughable tin foil hat wearing conspiracy theorist, who's pretty sure not a single corporatism or politician will be reading this blog.... making it even more far out in left field than it already is, which is way out past the parking lot, past the boulevard and freeway in that old vacant lot next to the abandoned box factory... so please don't try your crap with me...I'm just too on the ball ...thank you... I am really just so in the know you know...remember beware of those that seek power, this whole conspiracy theory/fact phenomena is a psycho-social, condition of being in a "club" that knows more than other people...people which they, those in the club like to call "sheep"...don't fall into the many mental traps laid to keep your awareness focused in 
I have tired of believing in what common sense says is true, "common sense" was a nifty little device to completely hide an awesome endless source of sustainability within. Totally un tapped by corporate greed or government tyranny. In fear of not appearing to be sensible or "politically correct" which I am assuming means your political "beliefs"...affiliations...and their two polar opposite zeitgeists...and the fear of not conforming to either side right or left...as "political correctness", which I think is the most hilarious two words to string together, since military intelligence.... Americans, they are so funny, they buy and read the magazine to know whom they are....they believe a magazine and buy all the stuff...American black, gay, crack smoking politician who becomes President...without the teleprompter... they all seem to transform into blithering idiots...only in America... hold on its going to be a roller-coaster...if you believe the "news" or what is called the news... they are me offering to myself a message about my point in perception here and now... as all this world and everything, everyone in it is me pushed outwardly and offering me my dream...I can interpret the dream how I choose now... and so toward greater things this child, that I am in comparison to eternity... that my imagination still is cannot yet conceive, but I know out of the jaws of defeat my greatness snatched completely whole, unblemished in my awareness as it expands as God for there is none by his side... I expanded in understanding and my experience transformed in its content, but it was I whom changed the content within... to experience the result without whom now witness to truth, cannot remain the same in perspective as I once was, and this cycle of awareness hums at its precise frequency the numbers as its changes... felt as outward circumstances change...perspective of certainty from perspective to anew... from State of awareness to a new State of awareness... the normal progression of experience... the realization that it's all God's expansion/expression... that God is you, the reader of the fairly crude textual formations that here lifeless and one dimensional upon this screen do nothing but reflect back to you the reader your own animating spark of divine presence...your own personal interpretation of what you are sure you see... here and now forevermore... celebration of the expanding wheel of brothers through eternity... light... The swinging of the fourth quarter rhythms the metaphysical theater is open and some words upon a page is not the inner kingdom... a feeling within in actual experience... carrying toward my greatness to me... so indeed everything about this blog is what cannot be said, I am on a fools errand and no amount of writing of obtusely displayed savages cleverly posing as an abstract philosophy strangely poised words or books of words of entirely alien concepts heretofore unknown by the dulled senses of mediocre perception.... an average demographic...I can say nothing's, can nothing be the object of my true desire, which be that as it may... my juvenile fascination with expression continues with or without My full innermost consent... I wrote a myth for myself... long ago upon the face of the so called real world... a mystery about this seeming self ...to guide me back once again to what must have been the whole, which was only forgotten and never lost... painted porches, and catnip furniture, and general catitudes these are all allowed in my boundless psychological sphere of awareness... I have no philosophy or moral lessons... for God only say yes... endlessly yes...or just silent smile of consenting, that is I am... I know I, am... I am that... I am the morning and entire day now anew again... I am that eternally... forever unable to remain as I once was... I embraced the opulent flow of now without reservation or permission... I called forth with authority my own known truths to ring loud and clear to me whom is that author and power, authority and potency is what I am... I am the desires accomplished perspective... without resistance becoming quickly all things to all men... resisting no evil, walking through the valley of the shadow of death... to stilled waters, restoring my soul... emptying... surrender... doing nothing... all accomplished, through a will beyond my own... beyond all mankind... whom reflects to me my greatest messages...whim is me, though this dream persists until quitting... I myself persistent in the unfolding expanding beyond this mortal comprehension... I express this formation of text to myself a message about the wheel of turning truths gathering its formless mass... magnetic resonance... imagining ... it studies the futures moments...and does... belief in self... as self constantly emerges... a rhythm section of awareness be-bopping along with no quantized beat... jazz man.... dig it up... roll baby... too cool for school... crazy... dancing light on the water... motions profoundly epicurean and stoic as its dry old bones... doing the choreography of God's great plan of salvation ....all done without any worldly interference... Grace flows free... the dreaming moving under a strange compulsion they do not understand... it's all perfection... Totally in alignment as what is... ising... Peaceful resolution which may have a calming self assured certainty which carries all that is along within it... its divine wholeness flowing through all that is which in infinite possibility... allows even the experience of lack, a memory that evaporated against the light of truth... freedom is unchecked or arrested, unmolested freedom reigns in the real source of all causation... all experience is possible and more... to be that which I believe I am is all simplicity demands so effortlessly of me... so easy and unforced... without My tampering or my concerns it has always come about beyond my understanding of how... and I'm content to not know, but only choose what... total success is only a perception and perspective is totally subjective... all imaginal all dreams made irrefutable to this gross form of solidity of processing in motion... certainty creates my empires bloom... with complete sustained abundance and joy myself the beach blooms excesses of good and nurturing fruit of opulence overflowing into expanding unified awareness... eternity is the new day and never-ending adventure in joy is the night... our story continues and the sequences unfold in their colors... truth makes all the moments endless until passing away again as all moments do... Now remains without a speech or view... without agenda all that is awaits to make all your desires be carnally known... be as they would be... as you would have them be... beyond the known sphere is all that I choose to know... no chaos or order from it, for understanding has wrapped its embrace around and squeezed out all the poison of doubt, science and logic, cannot find its holy grail... yet eternally revels in the exploration of its potential discovery...science that is part and parcel of God's expansion through this eternity we cannot claim any full understanding of... so be it ...it us and the stage actor audience and play all connected in awareness of each passing act.... are one in the observation of the contrivance... are one in awareness though each goes where and when they may in frolicking romps of rip roaring joy triumphant power... celebration is naturally occurring at all these junctions of the symphony harmonic delights ... and scenes... of happiness beyond compare, gratitude without an end in depth profound... to shuffle off the old man a life springs anew... the younger reigns... heaven upon this earth I entertain... perhaps outside the traditionally popular time signature... but upward spiral just the same... lovely of good rapport, these dwelling with my known today... to remain aware that I am dreaming... even awakening from a deep sleep and so comforted by slipping away back into believing the dream real... deeply slumbering... God awakening me through my desires... their fulfillment the ascension into salvation, heaven within attained without... and a light of the world... shinning beyond ...each we are light, in its mysterious motions... each we realize what we will... perfectly all that is harmony is with my still quiet center... nothing from whence all that is has sprung, springing... eternal. . .
Wing me over the great divide, in this flight of comprehension a weightless necessary experience?... a dream?...though if not... just as valid as no-thing... no experience....no feeling...no dream... as my testing the limits of this trip throughout tactile sensation, groping finds no symbolism or implications, of this no thought...which has not involved itself in the sensation of travel, or judgement of high or low...or better and worse, but knowing all this is not separate from each in mind alone...up til now... seemingly great distances...without effort or time...winging streaking, afire over this great divide without effort ... alight... burning... faster then perception now can know... sonic implosions booming forth from south to north, in instants...my intrepid adventures turn to commercial gold ...commercial gold to epic-ally documented and superbly edited virtual representations of my adventures through interdependence, full co-operation and talented artistry un-curtailed... we mere mortals are the MAsses whom foot the bill, but we also are the fire and the fire-power...the teeth in all liberty... liberty is not a rifle, a weapon of any kind... but in this mind I am alone in all this great company...free...freedom... I am breaking free ....and have I am being one ...with that which I know I am now... in this dancing perfection of now....my choice by God...alignment with that vision so clearly...within... as it emerges without... no mortal power able to cease its formation from invisible hand... thoughts, belief....emotional belief....certainty... expectation...a clear knowing of what is in my limitless world... intimate knowledge of its sacred content, having been its conceiving, but no knowledge of how...no understanding or knowing of how makes faith truly stronger than doubt... with this joyous revelation in its current revealing... valiant nobility again defined far from its thwarted, cliche in some popular interpretation that has distorted true definition of meaning... far from my own personal perception .... far removed from popular view...beans and potato chips... ambrosia sweet, delight... now and compounded returns ahead, investment in all moments in all thought, in all action... choice... reward is in how now is perceived and now always expanding into greater energies... frequency evolving... a deeper wider understanding... in simplicity no need to know... surrender is the truly liberating experience of truly being indifferent to the world and my vision...being hot in my sight in my belief, this subtle change working seemingly miraculous radical transformations in my "life".... my "life" being a one word description of a process which would include all words in all languages... forever deciphered for all to know... a freedom beyond the freedom worldly known on this mortal plane of the illusion of death... this slight shift of perception creating the seemingly solid forms, circumstances and carnal experience of my desire full-filled...joyously celebrated through the eternal now as the radiant indestructible shield that brilliantly glows around the tender heart of agape... the impossible concept of being God myself the only truth remains, starkly obvious even to the faulty carnal mind... I accept responsibility for my experience and transformed the past into fulfilled desires... spring up into experience from within my awareness overflowing with my focused belief...watching the inner scenes projected out upon the screen of experience the metaphysical theater... my awareness is all that is for me... as your awareness is all that is for you....beyond ourselves nothing but ourselves and having remembered what was once forgotten I rumbled along long ago and now into a future that is all one time, and not separate from the perception that conceived it...was not a witness to it but it's very creator, though indeed creation is finished... we do choose our dwelling places within it...so be it... and it is done ... by self alone... without permission... without license... I am the author and the power of My own story in this kingdom to next... no divide but another shadow in a dream of shadows passing motions like, school games to my wholeness... like dancing to my favorite music, this fulfillment is what my perception has wrought of it, not what any other perception wrought of theirs... those whom seek a unification in perception are obviously up to some nefarious attempt at "influence" to benefit themselves alone...always fractured from the common good their gross criminal agenda, always being eternally delayed, and by their fruits of their garden certainly showing the content of their belief... so my walk through this world I dreamed... my realization of the way clear of the conundrum itself.... is freedom... now being free, now being, totally full-filled, is faith itself the reward? as it seems faith alone is the ability to see grace or reward in all things... always overflowing with grace is an interpretation or a chosen perception to experience through... you are "practicing" your habits or your breaking out of your habits... your being an author of this new chapter that has come upon these pages of winding thought and cheerful romps in textual images that perhaps is more individual and cryptic to the many... To the last spaceman and the puppets...the puppet masters and the power of Elvis.... the grand fiasco's of government theater... the wild irresponsibility of corporate America the so called "big" business and "big" government, certainly the root of many evils...but why police the corrupted?... they will slink away at the appointed moment in the acts... in the scenes transitioning my favor grows beyond any "for profit", or "non-profit" mentality... I become as I am as all do in all ways...always... the equilibrium of unbreakable laws find value with me in my boundless psychological projections of these shadows shades... these dreams to awakening... brilliant sun rise. 

So my transportation from one state to another is imminent. My movement from victim to conqueror is complete. I express a vibration of power to those whom can hear and see it. I am wholly free within myself and need no crutch to walk this path. As there is no path to walk. There is no way. Boredom comes from within, the feeble minded are always bored, the feeble minded materialist had a different haughty expression of the same thing. Tyrants, perish in the intense fire of the causation of freedom. It's cause is tyranny... the circle is there to be seen. Speaking not of what you assume I am. It matters little, for tyrants are not necessarily what you think they are, but please forgive, me you are the font of all Knowledge, but you provide no guarantee and further no money back, all purchases are final. The perception I have now is improved from the perspective I held just a short time ago, though from here as I reflect and express that inner view, it seems so, so long past. Two soldiers...two chains. It is not, what you assume, it was just a short time ago. It was a mental construct to build demons and angels some last meticulous painting to live within. Between the un-fulfilling past. And the uncertain future. Broken chains dead soldiers... The wholly complete past is gone. The bright expectant future is not here. Freedom is always dangerous. I will delve within it as my letter to the adversary below. It is merely an exercise in moving through states. Through perception. As our adversary already lies smoldering in his eternal grave. Waiting an opportunity for someone to endow him with life. Once again. I am truly grateful to be the changing awareness I believe myself to be. I hold no illusions that I may somehow be superior. Though all my life the entities around me are sure that this is what I think. Indeed they do know everything after all. And mind readers to boot... We will get to the boot later. This is the conflict...this is the inner struggle. They are myself pushed outward to reflect back to me my own perception of belief. They are me speaking truths they do not know. All the world is my inner self reflected back. I embrace a higher truth of freedom through interpretation of my reflection. A joyful realization, that I can let go and somehow remain. I am the cause and I receive the effect, alone. The mystery is something they cannot understand. To the adversary whom is myself, I need not write this as you already know the arrival of the end of the age begins. Your end, my beginning. In this play we both know we are actors, but the audience has suspended its disbelief. Still believing that their life is real. And so exasperated, exhausted by your piercing capabilities to completely read my mind, I break down now and admit that indeed I must be superior to you. For I would never make such a childish, superficial assumption. Thank you for your false vote of confidence. As your fruit has exposed your intent. I do not make assumptions, but merely witness patiently. I have allowed your reign of terror to torment me/us as it was a written decree by self. An agreement between us. Your time of advantage has closed... Your feeble attempts at seduction are entertaining. But I do not desire the bitter wine you have poured. I force you only once to drink it yourself. But of course you are com-pulsed to drink it down. They way you accuse me of your own perpetration's is indicative to your own situation, it speaks the volumes of your crimes...in your protesting too loudly...but I would never assume to tell you that because you know everything already. Forgive me. Though I do not digress. Your admissions of guilt have been documented, certified and recorded into the record. And the drama must be blown out of proportion to sell...sell.. Sell. You and I separate here just like cellular mitosis. Though still we are one from heights many cannot scale, so we stop with that here for the benefit of emerging God. Comic relief, and plot thickening. This decree is a cleansing, Not an explanation. This letter is a return and not an escape. I believe for you, denial is a better defense. Run and hide you Wiley wretch, my soldiers love a good chase. As you well know. As you well know...in the end I stab you in the face and leave the knife implanted. Quite a sight, comical not gruesome. Your easily identified from here on out. That k-Bar protruding from your head. I grow weary of the world's superior stance, while simultaneously accusing me of that very thing. This old tired tactic becomes repetitious to the point tears. So I flip the switch and now your torment is ignored. You can wither un-fed, unclothed. Unknown in some forsaken street of brutalities neighborhood. Your old tactics you think so infallible are weary-some child-splay. How could it be so?, has fluoride really had that great of an effect? I do not understate you , or underestimate you, you know whom I AM. As I know whom you are. Each we, have no reason to speak falsely to each other. I am your redeemed emerging God in full power and in Glory, you sought to steal, and grasping held briefly to your demise here now. You cannot usurp this power it cannot be possessed by human hands. You only now too late realize your phantasms true essence of nothing of non substance. Whom is more, cruel then, I ask..... the evil or the good? We both know that evil and good alike are phantoms as well. Only living in the minds of men. I AM the first and the last... the alpha and omega and none shall escape out of my hand. Said I to myself, only to switch off your logical reasoning. Which indeed is within and not here on earth. Bound in your many presumptions you have built an iron prison around yourself. But even that will not save you. Indeed I am greater than you, by merit of the fact that you cannot be what I am. And I now decree that you are the lesser part of my greatness, that is all that power is. A decree. All in words, and nowhere else but mind. Honor or no honor, real power is in your word... Deed can be manipulated, forced. Staged or deceived. You strut about for a moment on the stage. Your brief appearance is not at all disturbing to the eternal youth. Your disguises do not deceive them any longer. It is only them whom know it all, that still root for your ...our victory. This try not too understand... Logic, feeble minded stumbles here. By merit of the fact that you are constantly seeking something exterior to your own awareness ...to quell the deep belief that causes your unrest, your false sense of is authority exposed...by the wrestling impatient thrashing about here now. You've blown your own cover. Even you beg to be sentenced. Even you plead for mercury in your execution thereof. But pride will not allow you to speak any truth. Indeed you are pitiable, but shall not receive any such. Real authority need not constantly proclaim itself as authority. Your insatiable appetites for attention, and your constant instruction of them whom allow your position is quite telling. Your insecurities reveal you to many more than you believe. You pray like a parasite, somehow a necessary evil, though I think now no longer. I know nothing, and you have the weight of all knowledge sticking straight out of your face. You yourself have convicted you. You yourself, whom is I... have proclaimed to be what you are indeed not. That simply put, is lying to yourself. Even if with passion and fervent zeal. If this system of "money" we lived within ...when tyrants reigned. was actually an effective and productive system, why then is there this so called "one-percent". Only one percent were benefited? Yes... And no one sought to change it? Yes they did. But the one percent conspired to murder those few and keep the many in a constant state of confusion. It was a way for God's to emerge from their cradle. But made no less the guilty ... Guilty. If this system only serves one percent, how then is it great or even functional? It is beside the point child, let me finish the letter so we can go to the park. I think even superficially the obvious lack of success is blatantly apparent. But in those times, men were very weak in faith. But we you and I are not subject to many illusions. And I can change the story as I see fit, without your permission. It is as it has always been, sheer unmitigated tyranny. Your whole facade of authority is a tyrants camouflage. Nothing more. Man up and show yourself to the people. I laugh heartily at that challenge you will not even consider, you know how that one ends don't you. How do I know that you secretly feel inferior? It is written all over your face, it is in your words and actions. You reveal yourself in your use of language. Language that you arrogantly dismissed as having no authority for or over you. and I do understand that it has always been the cause of your compulsion to seem greater or better or of more value than those around you. Pitiable but never pitied. Your weakness grew into a massive facade of power, by our allowing you your lesson. You believed in only the hands of your flesh. You will admit the truth and bend the knee when your ready. That will be a great day for you. This is the shallow root of your false authority. The belief that the corruptible decaying flesh has power. Your arrogance and amazing stupidity. Dissolves in the flood of realization, you have spent millennia trying to suppress. The Dam has broken. And the flood rushes at you. Though the flood is you...you still will drown in the weight of belief you think to be knowledge. I have tried to deal with you honestly and fairly, I have tried again and again to be kind and fair. Again and again, my honesty is returned with deception, my kindness mistaken as weakness. Woe to you, as told before... your wickedness has run its course... Woe to you...and I whom are you. You are up against the hand you cannot dismiss, thus your childish flight begins, your attempt at deferment will not end the execution of sentence. This sentence written here now. Do you only understand pain and death? Do you only respect bullies, tyrants... evil-doers?... I have to wonder now about your supposed intelligence. Can you now understand that I am about to jam my size ten boot straight up your ass. It will stink... consider this admonishment. Indeed painful, and we here...none of us ... have any sympathy for them whom prey upon the desperate. Your impositions your injections and tampering with powers you cannot possess... are pur own mistakes of great consequence. Your anus opened wide I un-lace my waffle stomped foot fall and slip my foot out. Your opportunity to accuse me of racism is ripe. But you still look awful funny with that knife in your head and my boot up your ass. A nice sight for the Pope and Cardinals, Bishops and priests to behold. Run my little roaches the Orkin man is here. Nanoo Nanoo Their own Great God, whom is the Devil, with my boot protruding from his ass in eternal damnation. Is sprayed with the last poison liquid we could find since cessation of its production. Too long you have proclaimed with your words that you somehow hold an answer. And your belief that I must behave as you desire is ridiculously funny. With ceremonies of vanity and empty noises and motions you as well convict yourself. As I do I deed, for this thing is not about right or wrong, good nor evil. It is about my own entertainment which you somehow felt empowered to scrutinize and judge. Thank you for your co-operation. Your host now knows you... without doubt...you ceaselessly lie. You cannot escape, take your stolen gold and run...be my guest to live in fear. But never stop running lest we find you and fly your dried skin on my kite frame. Incapable of truth you are no longer effective. Vanquished your customer base has grown in awareness. Knowledge is constantly changing and has always less value than it proclaims. As the system crumbles, you scatter like roaches at the turning on of the light. Squirt.. squirt.. squirt. You tell no one, but that answer from you to me is a silent, acknowledged signature .... I shall allow you your assumption this one last time. so here I kindly inform you for the benefit of yourself alone. Whom is I.. That you have reached your final curtain call...the play has ended and your leading role is through. yes a sad time for you indeed. But imagine my joy... I cannot think of anyone more deserving of eternal damnation or darkness and perhaps mid evil torture than the very one it was created for... I will not speak your name for that is your simple device... of redemption upon which for you an egotistical tidbit would be enough.. It is only a short delay...deferment of sentence and it's execution cannot be purchased or extorted, you are simply going through the motions of old habits. We cannot be bought. You have none of the benefits that humankind enjoys, your attempts at spiritual identity theft have fallen through and left you sorely wanting. And myself divided, I am whole... Exercised... Alone with the spotlight upon you, once the lime-light, now the spotlight attached to the pointing wrath of God. You position yourself over your fellow man in usury. You are a mere parasite a lecherous wispy, nothing of any consequence. I am glad released of you my old self. Everything you have claimed to be is a fabricated construct of lies. And of course a facade of pain that so many have not yet even tasted. You are so deluded and convulsing in vanity, your seizures of self pity you believe so profound are shallow little ugly motions that have been now broadcast to your supporting host... so that they now know your false authority your self...whom is me. A proclaimed superior position of greatness exposed as the fraud you created and have maintained so long in trickery and deceit. You may now, step down or up we care not which. They do not grant the permission you require any longer. I am afraid your scheme has finished... Though of course we will grant you your painful wretched thrashing about, before your vessels demise. How shall we then dispose of this contrivance of insanity? You should do well to know that your hoards of treasure and estates of excess are well used by the throngs you once looked down upon from your ivory tower. Is that justice or welfare? You have indeed been a good servant it is Too bad your stupidity and greed has brought you here. I love a little psychological torture to spice up your/my execution. Your visit to the toy-box shall indeed be a dull length of time... Perhaps there you can formulate revenge. Can you not see that this writing is a fantasy? A diversion of my mind?, or do you really believe you know this man? Can you not see the author entertains himself? or is it better with you that you know what I am thinking? I don't care what that is... We will place a single memorial dedicated to the youth to remind them of what you truly were. A voyer, a creeper of sorts. Our evolution in knowledge was always your ultimate demise and though your efforts valiantly conspicuous and exceeding in viciousness they were never enough to keep the light of truth from exposing what you are to this world of emerging Gods. Now as the reader please do not assume you understand. Oh I know you deny it... but secretly you believe you know. And how indeed can I assume to read your mind? My story my rules...hahaha..like a child on the playground laughing. I pity your vain belief... you see now how I am reading your mind? Quite arrogant isn't it? And perhaps delusional, psychotic? Is there a doctor in the house? You may blast off in your stolen craft of "space" if you please. I personally see it as a strange way to commit suicide. I still have another boot left... Bend over. Your spirit will be contained in the prisons you built for us, and you may haunt the empty passages through eternities until let loose again. To find this world empty and you alone. Standing alone empty with no one to Lord it over. As it were. You realize now that you are a mere plaything to us, you will be returned to the toy-box with the other diversions kept within it. And all this time spent reading some vain waste of idle time. So sure that somehow you were the chosen apogee of human perfection. I laugh about the strange sense of humor that commands the world's dramas. This feeble little petty creature could hold so much away for so long only to crash into such depths and depravity. It is me ... you. Not you, me. That is ...I suppose balance or justice, whatever that really means... is always having its way with us. So the moral of the story I think is be very careful what you hate... we always become that which we hate. I have seen it too long to not believe it. I see how it may be of value to document and teach your rise and fall, though here I only superficially and poetically skim the surface of your complex machinations. Indeed perhaps you deserve no place anywhere just as you afforded me. We both know I must write this letter to you, even though you will never dare read it. You both know that the pendulum we neither can stop has swung back the other way. My power and authority has risen from this conflict of precepts, of principalities... of corruption at the highest levels of Governance. And just good old bat-s-hit crazy. To find you cowering in some corner like a child, but your disguise is quite thin my old enemy of no honor. You cannot break through this time. Whom I do not respect, but neither do I hate. Your just like an old dog whom I shoot so you no longer suffer. I don't hate you. It's a mercy killing. From ashes this bird of prey arises and consumes you whole. What upon the dust of the earth, is not sacred? you make great fertilizer for growth and prosperous gain for those whom you sought to rule over and destroy. They had their time of tolerance... that tolerance was always something you neither understood or believed. You arrogantly assumed that your false power was somehow real. Vanity is what had undone your tyranny... you could not see that you were allowed to strut about for a season. You could not accept that you are of no substance of no value of no fortitude that is what we all here are wholly consisting of. We are all nothing but too proud to awaken to it. As you find yourself in your demise, our tender nature wants to spare you your reward. That is where I and this letter come in to decree that you shall have no pardon. You will drink your bitter cup to the dregs. So then with the declaration, sentence and execution complete. I rise in my state to endow all that is with brilliance henceforth unknown by my cohorts, my peers... even siblings. A celebration of victory over myself. I make a great stab at the face of evil and land my K-Bar in his face. No need to retract the blade, no need to fear the violence I have done upon myself. These silly little musings here and through history are perfectly ok. Knowing them by their fruits indeed has taken on many new depths, and heights that once I could not see. I am rising to meet in the sky, empty of any mark. Any attachment long since cut, allowing weightless flight of rendezvous and no longer an escape from pain my traveling. Relief has come in the face of doom. Joy has emerged from the depth of our despair.... Hope is vanquished and exposed as the fraud it is... I do not hope, I am free! my choice of awareness which is happiness, freedom, wisdom, health, wealth, and above all, the evolved understanding of Agape ... Take from me the substance, but you cannot take my ability to create it. Of unconditional love between mankind, there is little... though down there in the combat zone the illusion of Good and evil continues eternally. It is a cradle to rear up Gods... I can see now the purpose of the suffering. It was impossible to see while within it. The value within me is discovered, understood. Sitting serene and still on the porch, between the middle of the fence. An easy way... relax to the goal....I cannot strain something from not... to is...But must admit a learning of patience that never ceases. Contemplation and some serene buzzing...out of mind. All transient passing states of awareness. Two-years worth of what is and thereby perfection. It's shadow part and parcel of what is... a dance in the light. The swim and the walking... ought to go where I did not have to take it, forward. Iron-man marathon beyond tenable. Though the phenomena of sensual experience be me... myself now dreaming I am God... long ago God laid- down, and slept...within my own skull... crucified upon myself... and dreamed he was me...nay ... even became me and suffered with me every moment... Every whit... Never having left, only this amnesia remained to be cleared in remembering. To be expelled from my own skull aware of what I am. The law and the promise cannot be broken. Even by intentional deception the law could not be circumvented...the promise never understood wholly by mortal minds... How could it be? This is not understanding but experience ... thereby I am a witness to my own cause... a creator of circumstances and never a victim to them. Any belief will find its own evidence to expand upon... I feel my way toward its incarnation more than any other way... Even my too many words about what I cannot describe... slowing the progress... to cease writing and doing is the cure. Though that would cease the finger from its inane tapping. The purpose for the board and it's members... a long gone passed, by breeze from history. It's best parts not for all but few. Having no best part, to fade from memory an ancient fable from that same passing of time. I find it it difficult to further write from such un-tethered perspective. Going into some new way, to approach the skinning of a cat, though there are many ways to the same ends... how could one way be better than any other? I think the metaphysical theater is open and the audience awaits in the suspension of disbelief... Hopeful ...some dusty symbols might be the way ...or was that I...or is there no way? No problem so far from right alignment that it won't experience solving, solved... transmutation. The experience of "change" being the common theme. A perspective that no matter how convincingly correct can be found not whole in its interpretation... The ultimately scientific perspective still cannot un-sully itself from individual perspectives in opposing views... Still our greatest achievements yet to be known, still a spiritual discussion in the non physical now. All the plans and well intended, schemes fall through at the first signals of unrest... man's attention easily swayed if led into its habits of mortal toiling... Our greatest geniuses are a collective consciousness through eternity making way for some new vision, whom feet treading the wine press knew... Often greatest accomplishments carry great risk as a result of their bright illuminating presence we are startled or awe-struck in our realized state of perception, be it good bad or indifferent... Feel deeply, assured ...if faith be unsure to you. We do not have a sense of being truly pleased until accomplishment... No complexity in what is. It simply is. So how could these electro-magnetic equations of mathematical precision ensue? Blind to reason though acceptable as such. What great moment of transformation none... only these many moments always remain... like a distant echoes last answer back. The valleys crossed... trails end. The ending moment until the new one began. Sun rise from here...there set...again... new day rose before the old one began...again. The shadows line rolls round forevermore...anew..light...in darkness... Beyond here in the sun...some unsung song remains unsung ...in a locked and coded frequency...it doesn't matter to me... the game goes on forever...If see you see...beyond the things this incarnate mystery. Not allot of what you already cannot see... for brighter end in ease and grace is found subjectively within the self even during the objective experience...an acceptance of the recreational alignment of the experience is faith...Exercising that faith is abandoning the egos "impulse" and reserved employment of the ambassador within me is always in perfect acceptance and love of what is... these darker shadows dancing fade, the light brings its fruits...forth, forward...fully presented... Every season's turn another's intents turns winding woven paths always to tie or untie...both woven in the bigger picture... All parts played by the ultimate actor... in that bright side of the world upon the stage of the metaphysical theater... upon the world our steps...pass through generations... The fourth-quarter to the phenomena of sensual experience the realization felt, instead of merely known... The law fulfilled in the new... Amazingly simple as life truly is simple... An odd cold direction alone, where none but legend tread. None but the brave can try... Never known by historical measure. Always allegory and not secular or practical in the dead cold compromises and adjunct faculty... the world's great height... precarious swinging heights... When could have my voice found something anew... something I once thought I may have lost... Never sure... No problem so far from right alignment that is... what is. Whatever was... Will be again ...through eternal spinning... Left right high low, earth...fire...wind...water...all these elements more... I cannot describe that which I seek to describe... So myself the impostor exposed has no alibi... beyond the metaphysical theater... he speaks alone, quiet return... No Sound or motion... a deep beyond. It's not for me... not yet his turn... unfolds the light within further still the great expansion of understanding explodes... Too far off visions... of the castle and the knight... too far back in savage history to be understood again at present day...chivalry is dead indeed. The mind contains all the complete infinite sequences... each wholly, individual of the next... and yet at center hub its foundation is consciousness alone and indestructible energy or frequency cannot be destroyed... All transforming potential now in each shining bright moment of eternal witnessing this ultimate creation unfolds... So then it does become this purely singular thing, and certainly many understandings like water to a thirsty mind spring forth in eternal abundance flow... opulence bay of fortune... For where else could the manor be but in the lap of endless wealth itself... So do not be dismayed or moved... his word shall return fulfilled... and I remember when my thinking was limiting the way I had a
A new page upon which to smear these crude formations of expression. Joyful child shattered and stained with colors. Dripping with paint. I allow myself this wallowing in words. Fresh and new, pristine... without any blemish, though present through all time. Smiles at me, the awestruck child. The ignorance of bliss overriding the self proclaimed authority of nothing. How it is a
acquiring faith as a purpose though I am much more than identifications... as one contains all that is... I am speaking from the perspective named John Tvrz.. am I that one?.... certainly as you are as well your own named perspective ...we sought to banish these hardships from mankind through wisdom....And wisdom is the result of poor judgement... So I cannot blame the guilty for their crimes...though certainly they do seek to blame me for their own...if wisdom is the result of poor judgement, then how does wisdom comply with cessation of judgement? ... and who is it whom has ceased judging? If I am to never "judge" or make the determination of good or evil intent within another, then how to trust my faith? For it sounds as though i must put trust in others as i have never done before...This radical hands off approach of non judgement requires great faith indeed...For without judgement all I have is faith...How to live by faith and not by incarnated vision...or sight of the eyes... how to rebuke our bodies sensual story to ourselves...all these questions are answered in silence and their is no need to share the solutions bestowed... how to overcome our own internal oscillation between belief in our own potential ...and what we believe we experience in this world? To only hear and and see and feel the result desired is very difficult for the modern atrophied imagination... How to deny the evidence of the "facts" and move into experience of our desire fulfilled in this dream that is not what it seems to be... for the sound and vision of our own desires is the voice of God communicating with self, the imaginal action of our desires fulfilled in this dream of flesh, from the dream of spirit is the experience of life for each... and all the protests of science and civilization are ignorance still clinging to life within us each... the victory over this life which is the shadow of death, is the realization or remembering that indeed we are the op-rent power... there is only one God and there is no other beside me, is a statement made by you... God is you and is no other being separate from yourself... you are responsible and all that appears in experience is what you had decreed... trust faith in-spite of the screaming heavy facts... trust your own feelings, as they have been relegated by society to be of no value... just as society sees no value in imagination... feelings are there to guide your experience to the wanted desires experience ... my brazen impudence cannot be countered by another's vision for me... though if held in perfect intention my vision for another certainly becomes fact, just as my own vision becomes my own life experience... no one other than myself knows my vision and my feelings, whom both are such a large portion of all that is... only I decide how I shall perceive a moment... in that perception lays the way to freedom... it is freedom from this world itself that calls me to its open ends... it's freedom from all my own misconceptions ... the entirety of which became the pursuit of this escape from limitation itself... my own awareness is "Father" or "God" and the bible is my own biography... to be that which I know I am, frees me from my former perception... and this evolution of awareness continues for me long past this bodies limited span through this current experience... no more allowing this world to capture my attention... no longer to hide from myself in belief that is not truth... no longer am I separated from all others but embedded as I always was into the very essence of each which from another perspective at "higher" levels is the Elohim or one made of many... but my own essence is the embedded essences of everyone else within me... this experience of individuality or being separated... is the current dream to awaken from or illusion to see through... or if you will a story to be understood and abandoned... moving constantly through expansion of awareness... there is no waste or mistake... these perceptions of wrong or right... waste, production mistake or correct choice, all these perceptions are contained in the machinery of this dream called life and "factual" has long been demonstrated to be subject to personal perception... as I am sure you may be well rooted in absolutes... I say only that your ancestors that you do not even know, as well never knew you... how much of your "absolute" truth would your own ancestors believe, if you had to convince them of your absolute truth? If you had to travel back in time five generations ago, would your certainty of what truth is... be so easily accepted by your own kin?... would the absolute facts of your own world, not be obliterated by your own traveling to a different time? Would everything you believe so real not be reversed into its invisible thought-form? The entire world you know as real, all rendered unborn and unknown except in your memory of the future... only your memory ... you the singular visitor from the future contains the only certain thought-form of the so called future... the future that never was not now...time-traveling can only be done in imagination and therefore dismissed by creatures whom believe that Nuclear War is an incentive for peace.... obviously human logic is totally flawless so the devaluing ...the wholesale marginalizing and discounting of all art, abstract thought and truly useful intellectual pursuits of freedom can be mocked and slandered as useless... until the highly trusted sober and sane finger pushes the button of mutually self assured destruction... after all it is the world's artists that are the threat to war... they all need be kept suppressed until we the self proclaimed authority have destroyed or stolen all that is or ever will be... we the sane, the grotesquely sober are in love with our money so deeply we seem to have forgotten what it actually represents... we are the power behind oppression of the many to liberate the few, we call ourselves... we continually chant how selfish you, our victims truly are... we accuse loudly our enemies, truth, justice and the unregulated way... of our own crimes in order to render opinion impotent... until that opinion matches our own... it remains impotent... but we had not seen our own psychological festering the deep infection of our own minds running rampant over the voices we should have acknowledged as our guides... the voices that could have saved us we ignored and all reigns of tyranny come to their inevitable end... all those whom started so innocent, with such good intent ... twisted into the monsters that stand before you today awaiting the villagers with their pitchforks and torches, the monsters now running for their life in terror... the monsters now victims of the mob... boots stomping the monsters heads into goo upon the curb... always they consider change too late... we the people whom now are not allowed to gather for the redress of grievances whom now better watch what they say... whom have no rights let alone a right to bear arms... whom are never to question them whom have formed organization's to perpetrate fraud and theft against the very citizenry they once swore to protect... none of these things are even remotely true... for certainly our own government is above any criminal desires... there are no power hungry souls in Washington D.C. the entire state of the District of Columbia transforms all humans into infallible morally superior geniuses... so how could there be any downside to just trusting such a great group of obviously selfless gurus of benevolence? Ahh to time travel back or forward, we seem to want to be free from the now we are always within...eternally... and so how to be happy....fulfilled in this now without thought of any other time or place, or embrace of all times and places right now in this current perfect moment...of which comes all solutions and similarly all problems and each can be cherished, embraced and celebrated... begone from me doubt and fill me with that faith which shall endure.
Now is eternally with me, I am the center of all that is. My arms extend outward through the wholeness we dwell within. The shadow of my hand hides the righteous from boogiemen long ago fabricated by insane lusting men. No longer restrained by the fears and sins of my Fathers, I conquer past and future years. Though there is no time, in the illusion of it my power seems greater than it really is. For you have the same as I... and so reduced, it hides itself with me for now... we wait for you in infinite patience. I need no correction, I need no lesson from you, even though you strain and groan in anticipation to inflict yourself on each. Myself and all else. I do not require assistance, I need not be told what is... for the ones whom see me as they would, see me as less than them, are consumed between teeth like fortress walls, crushed by molars the size of mountains, I need not hear your siren songs. I need only taste your flesh and swallow. Your labyrinths of my own lower nature crystallized in your lives. In my life, for we are bound and cannot be separated, without our delusions we call real life. I see no one, even no thing as greater than myself for I know without doubt that this all is me. I do not worry about the perceptions of those whom believe war will protect them from war. Having never made or even planned for the infrastructure of peace. Hypocrites abound in civilization, as always it has been. Having no trust, they cannot be trusted. Though all this is ok and I grant its fruition in my sight as I watch from the sacred distance of myself removed from myself for surgery. To cut away the growth that is not necessary... to cleave away the rotten flesh from my wound. They call me foolish and nieve, they say I do not understand. These same ones whom say they can destroy the world with a "button", tell me I do not understand. If I could only let them see themselves through my eyes and mind while they speak. But this cannot be, it never was... these good ones whom are bad, and these bad ones whom are good... They all are part and parcel of myself and cannot be anything but what they are. It is unfortunate that they pray for war and then live in the fear of the answered prayer, all the while chanting to me, "you do not understand". As it is they whim do not understand. But also there is no need for me to change them... no need to change anyone. Perfection is the world you see as so imperfect. I understand that you see everything as it is not... I understand that indeed it is you and not myself whom wallow for millennia in foolishness. In lifetime after lifetime you relish this lower nature, until you force your own hand. A joyous day. I accept your shortsighted vision, I allow its truth to be real for you. I grant you your weapons and armor, your shinning new machines to reap destruction upon yourself. I grant you your wishes and ask you to die well... for you are me as I am you. There could be nothing more to tell. But indeed I continue for my eternity encompassing your waxing and waining is surely myself, as all that is, is me. We together hammer and forge what is as it should be. It is this place, this place we both thought so imperfect... stepping back it cools, and we witness perfection only after realizing the only imperfection was our own perceptions. I do grow and wither as I see fit and I have never fallen victim of outward assessments reflected back to me. I merely realize the message that I am giving myself through you, taken with a grain of salt, realizing how utterly full of shit you and I both are. It is quite alright this debacle, it is utterly divine. No I think perhaps finding the realization that I personally covet is merely a change of my own perspective. And your transformation into the person I desire you to be is effortless. Through not desiring you to be anything. It is effortless. Just being, right here right now is enough. Not castles, no power over others... no vast fortunes... just right here right now and it's unique content, whatever that may be. The castle, the power and the fortune should they be what is, then they are... and no one can change it. You are my perpetual lesson, until some change unknown transpires, until that moment, it is only you my sweet. My little tender fruitcup. What greatness crashes through my doorway? What firey forceful dynamo vibrates before me and shows its diamond hard exterior surrounding its soft warm heart? My dancing splendid vision of perfection revealing herself too me. It's loud convincing crys of vanity, and it's tender smooth appeals to better ends for everyone, and not itself alone. It nightmarish scene scales of suffering, while utopian paradise sits above pristine... how could such injustice be? It is by choice dearest buttercup... it is by each they choose. Who's piercing voice rings with freedom today? Who's mind has transformed from slave to King... who is the next savior whom this strength through time will not be betrayed? It is you my dearest... it is you... and if you believe it not, there is no conundrum, for you are everyone and everything... even as I am you. Eternal lengths of road will be given you, each as needed. Fear not... Fear not... no blade or shot shall pierce my skin, no fire or ice shall finish this warrior, from Destiny. From what must be. I love a good drama with plenty of comic relief apparently. Or have I chosen to forget my lines in this play just to see the director go crazy? Am I a masochist, or is that sadist? Perhaps an equal portion of each... perhaps I am the actor and the director, the author and choreographer all simultaneously. Definitely a production without earthly greed or expectations or manipulation and guile. Yes certainly yes ... a one man band am I. I need no approval or admiration for I am the audience as well. I just don't care what anyone thinks, for long ago I stopped listening. Today I see them wallowing in their filthy wretched conditions and I have no pitty, I have no compassion. I still do not care what these new wallowers think as well. Let them build their ivory towers of moral superiority, I already know what they really are. A fully self contained freak show of epic proportion. They should be pitied, but that would help no one. And all my suckers are born every minute, I must be breeding with myself like rabbits. I am God dreaming he is a man I think is myself, seperate from God. Or God is dreaming he is me, either way its a dream. Wake up! Do not go gentle into that good night of mediocre corporate sterile safety and vaccinated genetically modified human zombies... but rage! Rage!! Against the dawning of the light, for it had died long ago only to rise again... yes my brothers and weinerless brothers!!! Do not go gentle into that artificial night that seems so good. Rage, rage, rage and fight till dawn breaks anew and a new flag will be sewn by that fat man's wife... for the corporate filth had traveled time to kill the fat lady before she could sing. And so they did. And the fat lady, was the fat man's mistress, passion seems to hide in the forbidden places man makes for himself. Roll her in flour, and we shall boil the oil. Yes do not go gentle young soldiers, do not go gentle rebel scum... for your night is the night ablaze with fires-light. To kill and fight to again birth the baby of wrong and right. Do not gentle into the corporate trick bag. To those whom rule we know that good and evil are as real as the stories I mould with my hands here now, as real as any myth or legend... to those that rule we know the truth. Good and evil are Siamese twins, and one cannot exisist without the other. The world is compelled to serve my end. This dream I dream is mine alone and all within it are myself pushed outward. I alone decide, no time travel no power no money no ultimate weapon prevails in my dream because I know I'm dreaming. Everyone and everything is myself. I am the dreamer, and of course so are you. Though many of myselfs are very closed minded, and argumentative. Always being the last to know, they have become bitter. They are me as I am them, and I know them so well that I strive to forget. I have forgotten them, I only know victory. These passages, these seeming journeys are the energies we must move through no matter the comfort or what comfort is not we endure. The motions our minds make and the forms our minds perceive is what must be for us, and only full embrace can change our experience for the desired or something greater than the desired. Taking full responsibility for yourself is easier said than practiced until perfect. I move into realms where perhaps others have gone before, but I am certain very few. For there is no clearly marked trail to outrageous fortune, and my epic saga has no screenplay or script. Of the spontaneous unfoldment, I am quite certain. Just as certain as these textual symbols lay upon this page and translate into personal understandings, or lack thereof within your own mind. But I care not which. We are one mind whom plays hide and seek with itself. Fear not the temporal powers, for they can only destroy the mortal puppet you now wear, and suffer in...and joy in... and cry in...laugh in...they destroy illusions, as they themselves are illusions you only agreed with long ago. Though time is also illusory it is better said we agreed to this thing, and we will emerge from it stronger... this world will continue indefinitely... make no mistake, this world will screech on into eternal progression, just as it always has. It will never be destroyed no matter how convinced you are... You will find the "world" or the masses within it as a collective are about as intelligent as a young dog learning to be housebroken. Smart but still a dog. Our little dramas and comedys are also the great and grand comedies of dramatic proportion...of God's, our kindred likeness be and of God's our power be as well, we have fallen only in our thinking, our habits our belief has been perverted... and it was something that had to be... there is no escaping this life... There is no way to avoid the pleasantries and pains of our life...no matter how weak your belief has become, your life will be endured and relished by you no matter your pig headed stubbornness against it... I am afraid the joke is on you, and well it should be. Since creation you are as I am, and thus I know you well. We dream the same dream through perspectives of the separated illusory psychological distance between ourselves, yet our oneness remains deeply rooted and hidden by our ignorance. I am not a pleasant warm fuzzy spirit here to take you homeward, I am a seemingly demonic monster whom bristles with razor sharp edges and billows with a piecing voice that knocks the weak down. I do not come with flowers and muir. I come with a sword to divide a mother from her daughter, Father from his son ... I bring war and not peace... all within yourself... and this seems a clear point that escapes most of you, in fact damn near all of you! The call is not made until you earnestly search, so praise your woes, praise your hardships, as though they were great fortune, for I say without doubt they are! What you thought a curse indeed is a blessing and what you thought a blessing indeed is a curse. Mankind is still in a great state of confusion about the knowledge of good and evil that he stole by deception and blamed on his wife, whom in turn blamed on a serpent, like children whom cannot accept responsibility. Mankind will eternally be reared out of this crib for Gods, called earth. This place is our school... we are emerging as something much greater than our current belief. There is a door I'm stepping through and leaving an old self behind, along with this world I once believed so real. I know the weight and solidity, which is actually just sensual perception is all we seem to believe in here... I have chosen something greater and lighter a much better perception that has outgrown and surpassed the past belief. There are no precepts to teach something that cannot be learned through words. There is no way but your own way, and no one can tell you what that way is. So I strike out with ten thousand swords, and crash ten thousand shields into ten thousand exploding skulls, never to return to mediocrity and corporate sterilization. Dragons and monsters of all kinds whom once pursued my shadow now all are compelled to serve my every whim. Never returning to the plastic land of puppets and puppeteers. .This is the manually generated text spinning, road-agent...of fortunes great rise... writting of the highwayman of the introverted highroad... giving gifts to the carriage bound passengers along my mountain passageway... all that I may have upon this image of God I wear... produces the subjective righteousness in the objective experience... righteousness costs nothing upon me there... I have chosen the salvation of Christ... my fullfilled desire... Jesus Christ within me knew ... even saw before it came to pass... my own immagination thought and speech make man no different than God... though God within you has no stumbling block... no limitations... no doubt as to his being... fire blood water wine... all my heart invested... all my attention upon that great knowledge that had been revealed within me... the subjective fullfilment of my desire... has inspired its incarnated form here as my own possession... though many things reflected in my life... all each one... my own responsibility... and a collection of miracles a library of wisdom all contained in my heart... so no bounds may interrupt God now here... within me as myself... I am not subject to mortal convention... I have no stake in the maintenance of illusions... in these perpetrations of brazen fraud, our so called authority ...commits... after such regularly entered historical documentation of man's corruption... is known again... it is a wonder that he's able to keep lying with such a convincing expression... it's all been done before ... it's all perfectly ok... the whole affair is beyond my judgement of it... there is no fault in others for me... I see only certain talent, success and happiness for others... as they accept it... more power of evidence for me... as they reject it... those blessings all return and take root within me... for I have chosen this day whom I serve... I serve the Lord my God... there is only a rich return to the subjective... Crystal clear my truth emerging... always the greater refinement of this phenomena of sensual experience ...the realization that your salvation and relief is not in outward experience or external world but in the deliberate choice of that experience... knowing full well that you alone have chosen to know this freedom... to know my very inner cause... the mystery now so simple... a feeling causes my desires fullfilment... certainty is a feeling... it is the knowledge that the sun will rise at dawn... since childhood my fancy was ALWAYS there... I had never left... though some detour of belief has revealed bounty beyond my wildest expectations... salvation is the freedom from these earthly demands... from these concerns of the mortal vessel ... my immagination has released my phyisical form into completely supporting opulence overflowing... my attention upon its wisest use expanding its presence... these healing experiences all from change within myself... I cannot see anything but perfection in the incarnated world... I have no condemnation for self... for any self... weightless and unaffected by the perception of my selves pushed out... this articulation of opulent empire in my own mortal ownership is but the spiritual circumstance revealed in the phyisical world... the conviction within without will... without effort... blooms into those phyisical constructions I have seen and felt...known the sound and warmth of within me... immagination creates my life no matter from where I start... knowing without doubt that immagination and feeling bring about phyisical experience is the foundation of rock upon which all my desires are knowingly recieved... I volitionally know I have brought this magnificent phenomena into a realm of understanding... that becomes subconscious and therefore limitless ... to ask myself to know that nothing is too hard for me... to ask myself how now to show myself the majesty of God's perfection God law is that, within me... in this sensation of all fullfilment the wanting of the desire ceases to be... the yearning in sweet relief transformed to wholeness and bright happy memory... as in revision the entire personal history burns in bright efulgence of greatness light... if I be equal to the challenge then I can see it's clearly conquered circumstance, I know my solution is this vision I know to be real within... the outer phyisical world... always in transition... always confirming to my desires fullfilment... my unfolding is the evidence of my faith... my eternal remission of sin had gone out before me and the peace and tranquility of perfection wrought change to the benificial purposes of all... the subjective held in righteous feeling... single sight... the end fullfilled... cannot be denied its place among this one world of many things... a broad spectrum of light and man's incarnate vision of such a narrow view... only immagination can solve the limitations of carnal senses... the objective world is imaginal....dreaming ... under extreme compulsion ...we believe our dream real... we in our twisted perception or perfect alignment ... see that which we believe as truth... this deep conviction is causing the external reflection to seem as though it is the "real" world... though if that belief can be replaced with an equally strong conviction... one of awareness of powerfully causing my own experience... understanding that I am the cause... I am the oprent power... I am the author of this phenomena... and it is true that assumption over-rules the facts... this is a psychological experience through and through... with these statements I cause creations, march across this spinning sphere of concioussness.... the openings are to cause relief for the dreaming... escape for the awakened... and how far your own personal awareness extended is not limited to sense or the five limited senses... this new thought outside memory of the past forms itself in actual expirence... becoming memory itself... this process is not commonly closely observed unless chosen by awareness to be closely observed... what is the cause of your own personal experience? Your life and circumstance, what are the reasons "thing's" are the way they are... circumstance, situations... other people... why indeed? Why is it the "way it is" for me I ask in earnest quirey... why if then this challenge does work...if it so that I am the cause... indeed... why we do not hear more about it?... why if so "powerful" is it not more well known?... I do believe... as all is a self fullfilled prophecy... these doubts do not register in my mind... I only hear the sound of success... the old desperation for fullfiment has passed.... the realization that I literally reinforced deprivation for myself by the Internal action of habits... compulsion to be focused upon the lack... it is this self image that I radiate to the world that is changing as my perception of the world around me changes... all caused in truth... by changing within myself... my own way of seeing things has changed... this internal difference in my subconscious belief... has brought about this change upon my life or phyisical experience... I am free from care... I cannot speak or write of "the way" so I am only speaking and writting of my own way ...unleashed from mortal depths... vaulting into the star's... beyond this world of dreams ....can be a reward greater than the law and promise here?... the way of the Lord is always unknown to our concious... for his ways beyond our ways cannot be percivied by our restricted mortal, individual perception... so Faith is required... perhaps my thought that faith must become unneeded after witnessing so many miracles... perhaps that is not true after all... faith is certainly always required while incarnated upon this mortal plane, the world... faith is twisted or made straight... but always present... without it nothing is made... for anything that is here in this phyisical world is the result of Faith... for things that appear... are not made of things that are seen... everything emerges it endures... it passes away... that is the way of this world... transient places of shadows moving forms... all decaying here on earth... store up your treasures in heaven... I have long contemplated that very accumulation... I have placed all within care I trust beyond reason... only within heaven is there any true value... as all arrives and passes away in the so called real world ... in the sensible, practical worldly view this all is such foolish folly... one day the sensible, practical worldly view realizes how superficial in awareness it has been... and always within ourselves it is the root of cause in outward circumstance, situations... we are causing the experience by choice ... we find relief in "salvation" of Jesus Christ... whom is your own human immagination... you can tame your entire mind to consciously serve you to your own personal gain and benificial purposes... realizing my writting is a form of repition... of unscripted praise and dreaming out loud... of crystallized moments of thought upon a virtual screen, for the duration of it usefulness... no matter... these cannot be anything but sweet smiling faces... of futures very solid forms... these all brightened by my choice ... I perceive... my conception is all there... it's own unraveling within itself... I make no effort but choice... effortlessly realized... human intelligence has no advantage over its own heart... allowing ... allowing all that is... to be... allowing all to be that which it is ...without my judgement... just as God does... I can be perfect seeing perfection surrounding me... the most heavenly music... the music of the spheres... I am consumed in my sight and hearing... I expirence the so called fantasy in so called real world... my assumptions do harden into fact... though so immersed in the subjective to objective process... my self forgets ... the old ways... renewed of mind these fingers grasp above their station ... though all nobility arises to keep base desires in check... my advanced forgiveness of all... becomes the forgiveness I myself encounter... these are the simple unbreakable premises.... you are God... you are not a victim of circumstance, you are its engineer... as the continued expansion through eternity unfolding into expirence renews itself as I have felt, seen.... known... the promise... the law... the flashes of realization... when I understand something new, a breakthrough... such ecstatic happiness emoting from authentic cause... from this fullfilment all these... come unto me without a single yearning.... I do nothing of myself.... Father within..... doing all the works.... effortlessly I realize..... for I merely witness the awesome power of the one living God... I have no power... the glory is all GOD's.... my expectations playful nature... my desires fullfilment as the subjective to objective process of awareness keeps its pace... new inner resolution my new rennisance begins with a self image that I radiate to the world.... everyone knows of my triumphant victory... at one level or another... a radical change in the perspective of others about myself... I have more than "influenced" my situation... I have transformed my world by transforming perspective within myself...all these repitions have compounded effect upon experience... by my own subconscious self image I fashion this world of dreams about me ... my own realization of being God allows any result in life I desire.... self fullfilled by my choice of attention... my interpretation of my world now ...effects my future experience of my world now... as time exists all together as one entity... outside human awareness.... for we are slowly refined into fine gold.... or quickly thrust into greatness as the fortunes of war may bring... enduring to the end is bringing about my unseen desire as fact... living my desires experience... is drinking the wine... my focus will bring about its sacred returns... I can attain the new State of perception immediately by immagination and by Faith... feeling it real now as a result of the phenomena... always striving across the water... understanding... the walking upon the surface of understanding by doing.... a journey all within your own mind... it mysteriously reaches out beyond the incarnate self... this new reflection of my within... changing the seeming without... our desire is often not conscious... subconscious beliefs are the beliefs we seek to use to our own advantage... amazingly... simply pondering the words of "subconscious advantage " or "subconscious benefit" would indeed bring about the result the ponderer injects into them without fail... I can see the potential for positive results as limitless... we are dealing with the shocking power of hypnosis... self hypnosis... concious hypnosis.... as the repitions are chosen ... even painstakingly cafted like a crude wooden carving... my articles are not made of intelligence but a nieve awareness of divine presence... a simple commitment to be the voice I desire to be at the deepest center of a non-physical being... wearing now this mortal costume... I speak out from the desires purest place of orgin ... where all these are commands... already fullfilled are my wants in ignorance.... and so to let go and die to my own ignorance... to find myself in need of cleaning... a complete circle of stories released yet again to mark time, times and a half... a continued expansion through eternity teaching the subjective to objective process of awareness.... or life expirence... to myself I teach the truth that I myself create my own expansion beginning to be less romantic than it was... however the playful nature of my own mind to heal all in my boundless psychological interpretation this entire synthetic problems solution... as perhaps then the evolution could be brought beyond thought... or as we see all is the same substance the same awareness... there is no place beyond thought... the premise is not willingly accented by reason and so these endless repitions of affirmation over self... becomes the forgiveness I myself encounter with this world of dreams... this encounter between greater shadows... greater lights and deeper shadows...until there is no struggling but only the harmony of the awareness in rhythm with the now ... so to praise this dream I am living... this has been my time again to repeat the same gratitude I had yesterday but is greater today... I wonder in my blessings... in my priceless gifts amazed... with these many characters I find... all myself and all within... letting go of the wanting... letting go of the worry... as a new perspective born whole...from above my own best nature... my heart has no pain... in the embrace of those greatest aspects and qualities of my Godly talents.... to remain out of the dramas of duality... out of the unawareness of the dream and awakened within a dream is made my story... is made my ever growing wisdom outside all wisdom... beyond the distant winds first running...by our intents... this strange wilderness... bring the fortune I own its name and place... in this garden I build a paradise to know as home... in the wilderness my garden growing... my estate of thoughts delight... why can it not be that these declarations I've penned into this series... become the object of our attention and revealed the expirence of the declaration itself... I have chosen to be aware that I am cause of my own experience... and so declare the fact of my financial freedom... my awareness of greater promises than money in excess... my wealth was a facet of life once mysterious to me... as living from the end takes some practice... I did find always a desire... an object a circumstance, a person currently not in my expirence that I do desire to experience... as a true Christian I know that my desire has within itself all required data for its fullfilment... my Christian faith endows the imagined desires existence within my mind with the certainty of being a phyisical fact... this is the feeling of faith... knowing that my specific desire is a fact... even though current awareness may have not a single shred of evidence of its fact of being... I continue in the assumption... my word has gone out and shall not return unto me void... these desires, all are the very details of the realization that indeed I am that... I am that awareness behind my personality... the very substance of all that is ... is concioussness and this writting a mechanical expression of the organic process of being concious I am God... I am Jesus Christ.... I am the holy spirit... and accusations against an individual perception ... is merely paranoia of others thought... rightness or wrongness has no place in the Kingdom of Heaven... within your immagination resides the one living God's son Jesus Christ ... you are God... you may deny it if you wish... the truth of this place, the nature of what is ... even all that is has not changed with my ignorance or awareness of it... as it does not respond to will or effort.... and any criticism will destroy it... one must develop faith to be stronger than the world... even what appears to be has no power over my righteousness... as righteousness is a perspective and not an action or behavior... righteousness is full faith in Gods law... righteousness is walking by faith alone... even into the seemingly "wrong" situation that turns out to be the right situation.... human perception through physical senses is so limited as to render mankind largely handicapped... it is spiritual sight that transcends the limitations of carnal senses of mankind's flawed, yet evolving wisdom... can I continually break new boundaries of understanding in this progression of greater experience?... can I somehow overcome these many characters in myself whom have kept me in "sin" ?or experiencing that which is not desired?... the many long repitions of affirmation of unwanted can be undone in revision... the expirence has profited me though I could not always see how... the negative or unwanted as those firey furnaces... where impurities from within all removed first from within... the outer world then later changed... as the flora slowly growing.... grows as only it can...peace finds those deep peaceful places within... feeling peace... has brought peace all around my phyisical form... even all my past thought and feelings transformed Into golden liquid light ...brilliant past... the imagined forms of divine being... I am has touched my life.... transforming its entire shape and course... I am now long ago, the object of my desire... my fullfiment has been life-long... I am a well established investor... though my ultimate fame is forever sweet happy madness that was the division between genius and insanity... I am brilliant beyond mankind's Ken... inspired words of the holy spirit's mouth?... or can you reduce, marginalize explain and otherwise destroy any healing or benifit the excercise in the awareness of the causation of the phenomena of the human sensual experience ... is...it's process fully understood... as the concept that you are the causation of your own experience... unfolds in your subconscious as "root-belief"... you are then indeed able to live without fear, debt or unhappiness... disease... lack... unhappiness ... all these are the symptoms of living within those shadows... shadows I sought to escape and found even escape beyond and away from the light itself.... escape into truth that is eternal ... and so to each moments passing... as the better than the best I know.... choosing the expanded awareness result... by my mood I arrive at the desires great presence in my life ...that bright thrilling grateful reception... the sweet arrival no less or more sweet than the relief that certainty of its presence here now had brought before its form had appeared... faithful in all things the new desire... and since I do earnestly want that faith... I have realized it... it comes to pass... I am faithful in all things by decree... my world has become the reflection of Heaven here on earth... but by God there go I... never is there a time to be unaware that I am God... as the perception for each unique... the Revelations for each come.... after God has called them unto their own human immagination... after the wild beast called mind is tamed ... after the subconscious knows it is the womb of alignment of all phyisical experience... when I am living purely by Faith and aware of it... I am growing in the greater awareness seemingly greater dimensional self in direct contact with myself here on earth... aligning my expirence here from there... within my immagination... and yet the strangest predictions made ...come true... and the greater ability to make a greater commitment comes...true it comes... for through no phyisical effort.... and no mental willpower... there was a commitment to undo the tangles of myself... so that I may see clearly... so I may know greater things than this worldly kingdom... so that my poetry becomes reflected as God's undefined image on earth... though the poetry of God is great... the glory emits from the self and not those angelic wings of text that carry me along through the days of assumption to the Sabbath to the great relief of knowing my desires fullfilment is more "real" than the incarnate expirence that is the so called evidence... but as the author of my own adventures... I am indeed the triumphant hero, without a single obstacle too difficult... I look back in relief and strange pride at the obstacles... all in decay... melted in soft dimensions crumbled , now rounded edges... I once thought so real the shadows and phantoms of mind... all this world made of those assumptions....all with certainties we take for granted ...the secret of freedom...hidden in plain sight... in its place all our held intention rests to suddenly appear... we so easily look past the self into illusions... so natural to believe what I know is surely true... completely indifferent to what appearance currently is... the constant change affirms the fact that changes I have rendered upon myself... have transformed my expirence in profoundly positive ways... I have become the self I always knew I could be ... but still I needed practice... though practice is abandoned when expirence makes practice obsolete... we grow our faith ... we accumulate a mystical fortune of so much wealth it must be endowed upon all mankind... all to rise as kings... we all find ourselves in royal robes from our past rags of filth... we each are called without fail each are made to hear my voice.... so as the better than the best I've ever known ensues... my greater than the greatest becomes the current bar... currently being... being known as the elevated standard of living now enjoyed by most... the petty phantoms of man's dualities slowly evolving into the singular form of the self... or as the chosen mental construct... as not all see what can be done... not all know from where freedom came... too long until long enough... the greater part of me had made a compulsion of mine into salvation from the bondage of the world... the same power that makes your world "real" can un-make it into the beautiful garden I tend within myself... manifested as my life... being truth... that as a man thinketh within his heart... so is he ... amen... I am so grateful to be unmolested by the pains and trials of my past... the subjective held... the objective known... as the feeling of the subjective form, held within these potters hands... immagination... I go to my relief as sure as minutes unwind... as sure as these entries to myself have found me before their writting ... my desires experience were known before the world around me saw... being fullfilled brought fullfilment... being wise brought wisdom even if it's foolishness to all ... the fool persisting in his folly becomes wise... being immersed in opulent kingdom within... my external reflection had to become equivalent... letting go of vestiges of old faded doubt... the velocity of expansion carries me far past what I once thought greatness could bear... far past the gleeful expectation my assured support my assured security had allowed even this wretch a crown... my desire well known to me ... my vision unfolds before me ... my attention stays in fullfilment... this is a way but not the way... as I could not make all potential clear in words... nor can I actually live in faith by writing or reading words... I can commit to a certain type of content within myself to bloom... I can continue expression for the benifit of this little self of flesh and bone... whom once thought itself seperate wondered in that great divide crossed only by these very contemplations it once knew on the virtual stage, of this metaphysical theater  

Freedom subjectively appropriated is objectified upon the screen of what is experienced in life... I have appropriated my own personal salvation here in this experience through subjectively envisioning, feeling and sustaining belief through long trials of the objective world denying that same belief I carry within... just as my old beliefs counter the new in vibration resonance... I deny the world... I hold hold steadfast to my dreams ... regardless of tyranny all around in it's myriad forms... it's seemingly fierce and mighty dominance over me...over all... all illusions... for this world is a shadow of my own imagination...and tyranny itself all a reflection... I am the master of my own fate, the captain of my own ship, and it is inevitable that my vision my feeling, my faith becomes by God's own mysterious way my physical experience in this incarnated world... the many false idols of this world abandoned and freedom from the old burdens of ignorance are transcended through this potent imaginal action... imagination is the connection into heavens realm...what does it matter that the world sees foolishness in this, allow them their faithless slumber... as I had slumbered ...not understanding that worry was faith in evil... that my thinking my feeling my deepest held belief is the causation of my own experience... I am the power that aligns the gifts of thought and speech to be the scenes of my life playing out solely for myself... and in my deep conviction of total surrender to this divine law is a wholeness that precedes me into eternity... my ever growing faith in the law is the real strength of my being... I cannot be denied as scripture cannot be broken... this is the real source of my everlasting happiness... my true salvation from the ignorance of the world, which they call "being practical", "being realistic" it's all self satisfied loving of death...they are so self assured as they perpetrate the horrors of the world upon themselves... I am free from the scoffing and mocking of these sleeping beings whom shall wallow in their own misery's until awakening to their actual self's whom is God... as I am... we play our parts upon the stage... upon this page I speak to myself of my own redemption from the phantoms of my own seeming past... emerging from the darkness of self into the light of Christ within myself... an awareness that breaks these mortal bonds that I had fashioned unaware... I am eternally surrendered to God within... he played down and slept and dreams he is I... as I am dreaming I am God, a realization beyond any of this mortal life, is that I am God... I am unfolding into wholeness a progression of greater understanding... expanding into the limitless grace of God there go I... control of my attention is the means by which I create the experience I desire... freedom is in the law and it's right use... freedom from the tyranny of the world's worshiping of their false idols... the trust in flesh is the great glaring ignorance of the world... they are blind to the truth and faithless and all the knowledge ever known by man is futility... for these precepts are not by worldly scientific means but personal spiritual revelation... and each one will have their own after having played all the many roles here on Earth... yes God plays all the parts... there is no doubt... but each of is God... each of us all one soul and here to become once again Elohim, which literally means the one made of many... we are all one soul playing our many varied roles through un-numbered lifetimes, across history's endless ages... this world has always been, and will always be... and narrow minded scoffing fools whom declare themselves wise and worship their grasping called science shall always be there to keep the illusion alive while claiming to pierce and expose it...of course I had kept my piece of this illusory world alive as certainly I still do ...though the Vail is rent, the true cause is exposed... and can never be discovered by looking outward in the world... soaring above the worldly... being free from past limitations the law expands my belief and courage becomes less needed in the walk by this faith that is the knowing of the one living God... a knowing that is not reasonable or logical, even beyond all my old assumptions that were ignorance itself...man is satisfied that his knowledge is all... and his laws are just.... though neither all or just... is man's knowledge or law... in his confusion still perpetrating the horrors of the world upon his own head, and pointing outside himself in blame...I cannot condemn anyone but myself... no one to understand but self... no change or growth to realize but the changes, growth within myself... there is no respite there is no cessation to the eternal expansion of God, which of course cannot be understood by the carnal mind that pushes away the holy spirit... but only the carnal mind that accepts that spirit within, fully surrendering to it... your smug pride a memory... though only myself, only me, only I... is any of it written... as only I can understand... why would it matter what they think?... why would it be of any concern?... usually only to bolster the egos own insecure sense of self worth... and all those seeking shall eventually find what they seek...whether it be evil or good... there is only one God... are you spying on a foolish God...insane?... foolishness?... as only you would know... only you can say... and every word proceeding from your lips is the answer to your own riddle... I shall not be following your politely worded "suggestions" as this is not the place nor is it the time no matter how pure your intent may be... my own creation... my own experience... my own self satisfied feeling of certainty... I wish you a great wide... and deep... via condios. ..

A new page upon which to smear these crude formations of expression. Joyful child shattered and stained with colors. Dripping with paint. I allow myself this wallowing in words. Fresh and new, pristine... without any blemish, though present through all time. Smiles at me, the awestruck child. The ignorance of bliss overriding the self proclaimed authority of nothing. How it remains pure is a mystery, I have been here these few tiny years and have been stained through and through. I suppose I should cleanse what I believe somehow has form Through the world's ages. Somehow remaining untouched, somehow still unmoved by the flowing Stream 
Secretly banning the arrogance ... I fostered and fed. Hollywood, Television, Internet dead

Scottish military drummers, with pipes some hyperextension of a dimensional radio check, over. The swinging wheel of seasonal cycling where no perception is, there is still not something. Still nowhere, no when... cannot be snared. Where all nothing waits in perfect nothing. And all stillness has such endless depth beyond space and time... forever. Sitting perfect and nothing need be done. All stillness pervades ever centrally ... ever in non motion...true hub of creations wheel. Nothing to say or teach but hear the silence. For there can never be nothing. In all things nothing. The center from which it all had come. No sounds... but all sounds. No vision but whole vision. No speech but the tongues... And all this, is, was... will be. To break between the frames of time itself outside all the perfection of quantification machine language... Always foolishness found unless it's is their own. The swinging the vines, of my perspective fallen to be beheaded by his own strange vision of the phenomena... of the causation of experience. Strangeness beyond all measure. Broken steps with loose foundation cracked beyond repair, ruble... civilization decaying and springing anew in random, seasons. No path to freedom, already there. What's there worth after all these broken streams of abstract mysterious thought only known to divine... Then we well have worn these many roads to freedom in our minds alone conquering all that is...even death. Our purpose in life not to make masters of this world of false idols and power. But find our own way to serve others in earnestness....authentic devotion... it's not a way back home... it already is home... no matter how far from perfection you have strayed. Once and always this union not broken only forgotten and veils in our own ignorance through these many ages time. Our own focus our own attention is the power of life itself and we ourselves are the semi conscious power of energy that is the causation of the phenomena of sensual experience. There is no longer a blind faith but a familiar remembering of something I had lost somehow long ago. Of these moments that set...my world alight, incendiary devices deployed all along the lengths of my villages... The burned down and cleared killing fields opened to be seen as great deathly open squares rectangles of dark carcass of despair... All seen and laid bare until, the grotesque postures of bodies quitting this place litter the waysides...as it has always been. I count my many blessings... I praise my enemies and bless my friends... for certainly as every word that proceeded from my mouth I shall experience the object of my strongest focus in waking... compounded and running over in life...experience... carnal senses employed in the vision literally feeling it in imaginal action ... Real is all of the culmination of thought forever proceeding out ahead of man... to be forgotten and later experienced as fact. And man's long ignorance to this simple un-glamorous truth... And it is the only truth there really is... without all the worldly accumulation... Simple and free from our tentacles of thought, forever searching the psychological astral plane for the true cause of life, without knowing first what that is...blindly legitimized and practiced as a "best practice" sterilized and homogenized until any value it may have had is boiled away. Ghost. Riders in the sky... Across the fiery sunset and purple desert plains...the Smokey mountains... cheesy-motto... Where all nothing waits in perfect un-moving, silent stillness. Going through the self imposed correct measures of time. No dust is alive without the essence of breath, the wind that blows through your head like a typhoon... And leaves you incapable of worldly thinking... you have become the great fool. An empty windy head, and a dusty still life of sacred singing. Essence of foolish sirens songs beyond the wall and civilization within them. Protected by those whom watch and wait... waiting to find a real cause to be exploited, until fit for its initial public offering. These administrators and their edicts beyond your jurisdiction... I am afraid you must petition to be heard. So am entire life has been this humming... Shoo away the chickens from the blooming corn... Where all nothing waits in perfect stillness. Growing out of chaos understandings bloom to effects. I remember when now. 
A new page upon which to smear these crude formations of expression. Joyful child shattered and stained with colors. Dripping with paint. I allow myself this wallowing in words. Fresh and new, pristine... without any blemish, though present through all time. Smiles at me, the awestruck child. The ignorance of bliss overriding the self proclaimed authority of nothing. How it remains pure is a mystery, I have been here these few tiny years and have been stained through and through. I suppose I should cleanse what I believe somehow has form Through the world's ages. Somehow remaining untouched, somehow still unmoved by the flowing Stream of the dream. Somewhere that innocence remains... Without any concern. Thoughts, all like fractured strings that entwine again together as one woven rope. I make no effort to weave the hangman's rope, nor do I step up into the gallows floor. Only I am holding the cord that I have joined together. Serious lies cannot convict Oddly formed bumps on my miss-shaped head, the long drawn down chin...eyes too far apart...ears too large...nose set too steep an upward an angle... all signs of a dielectric herbaceous brandy guzzling Russian agent certainly sent to meddle in American affairs...totally Bent on having a positive, economy a better stabilized legal Nation...after the long dark years of puppets dynasty of destruction... it took Russian agents to meddle in our elections and save America from brain addled criminal demons like Bush... Hitlary...and Bumer ...The dogged determination of the news services gone wild had swept any sense of objectivity in the so called, journalist community ...they themselves having become part of the story...fully succumbing to the temptation to be a "star"... now swept well under the rug...our self esteem 
Secretly banning the arrogance ... I fostered and fed. Hollywood, Television, Internet dead. Turning from brainwash, all your heil hiltler noises. Your greed sets the tones of your bright shinny poses. Plastic playthings, worn well with your use, my invention... your perception a choice made in faith your intention. thwarted in fear to play in school yard. Call me a dirt eating, weird...ass... nonsensical retard. Twisting the meanings of things that you see, that 
The Metaphysical Theater is a blog about a human whom asks the question of himself, how do I make this life a life worth living is a guaranteed more attractive subject to consider as these things go in the course of time, although I just don't feel like writing anymore sorry that our value is immense in authentic gratitude for the excesses pouring forth from the spirit of opulence.... gladness attracts into my incarnate awareness the entirety of all this, Focus and experience, for remembering when now, is a riddle solved to great deegre. remaining as it is expressed even through its own manifestation and non-physical/physical expansion. Even through my own burning in the darkness as I see blindly through Faith to reasons and circumstance that profoundly reaches into the depth of what could be and holds out my greatest weakness to be made whole in strength beyond mortal humans Ken... my greatest fear made courage, until courage is no longer of need... as faith becomes a certainty not a possibility. Grow in faith sure, grow to see the shadows cast upon this fire lit, theatres, vast stages... we each the central characters ...the audience and the building all our own production... And the value of our production is largely subjective is it not? The audience is always seeing what they themselves are and not what the play is... to know yourself of value beyond worldly measures brings the worldly reflection always in its due time... If it seem long then wait, for it is sure and will not be late... the certainty of internal worth proceeds its return into your future and not past does it go forth to bring its bounties... always has it been the same way, may own perception could not behold it, as even speaking here of it is not... could not be it... for it is not here on this page but with you...now...always, this place of grace shines away the former things of our expansions unstoppable unfolding... perfection at its very central hub of still nothing... where my awareness can go just as I am... any time any place always at foundation... so I am pretty much done with this I think, as its time  I allow myself this wallowing in words. Fresh and new, pristine... without any blemish, though present through all time. Smiles at me, the awestruck child. The ignorance of bliss overriding the self proclaimed authority of nothing. How it remains pure is a mystery, I have been here these few tiny years and have been stained through and through. I suppose I should cleanse what I believe somehow has form Through the world's ages. Somehow remaining untouched, somehow still unmoved by the flowing Stream of the dream. Somewhere that innocence has made
Oddly formed bumps on my miss-shaped head, the long drawn down chin...eyes too far apart...ears too large...nose set too steep an upward an angle... all signs of a dielectric herbaceous brandy guzzling Russian agent certainly sent to meddle in American affairs...totally Bent on having a positive, economy a better stabilized legal Nation...after the long dark years of puppets dynasty of destruction... it took Russian agents to meddle in our elections and save America from brain addled criminal demons like Bush... Hitlary...and Bumer ...The dogged determination of the news services gone wild had swept any sense of objectivity in the so called, journalist community ...they themselves having become part of the story...fully succumbing to the temptation to be a "star"... now swept well under the rug...our self esteem as a nation has been evaporated like journalism's credibility ... to suffocate along with morals and ethics they have evidently jettisoned as well... cutting away … and shadow banning the arrogance ... I fostered and fed. Hollywood, Television, Internet dead. Turning from brainwash, all your heil hiltler noises. Your greed sets the tones of your bright shinny poses. Plastic playthings, worn well with your use, my invention... your perception a choice made in faith your intention. thwarted in fear to play in school yard. Call me a dirt eating, weird...ass... nonsensical retard. Twisting the meanings of things that you see, that is the downfall of short apogee. Biblical, worldly do not mix together, you make your own bed, under own chosen weather. Original sin is not your contention. Sin is an arrow that missed its seat at convention. If murders your power then murder you must. Kill all the messengers with power of lust. Rusty, dusty, Hollywood's face... 
patchwork life, a patchwork of death

So death comes for us all... Ready or not. It is not an option, to live or die and if the body wears down is torn down or struck down...what then is best for me to do with this thing we call time? And if life does not arrive in self before life's balanced arc completes itself. In death, Or in unknown life. Then again the climb the walk the journey takes another turn. Another noble run at the hill, or the mountain or the way. when our passing of awareness knocks and opens the door... If transition into nothing does not arrive before death, what has any event, any so called acquisition hold for us then? Money cannot buy your destiny away from you. Though I'm sure someone will try to sell you that as well. I know it's nothing, though I vomit outward the question to be caught here as the receptacle of the bile. My stinking worthless words slopped upon this page. I did not inhale. I only became what was pushed out of my self, not my body. To be thinking when I know I should not, is that Sin as well, for apparently there are so many sins for the morally superior. Whom always have the furthest to fall. I have many times missed the mark, so therefore I am a sinner by definition. I am a worthless wretch in eyes much greater than my own. Until they too look upward and see the once lowly standing far above themselves. I do not find this disturbing, wrong or right, just what is. Just my own delusions. Only a dream made real in this place, not for you perhaps... but for me by right. I have been a practiced cynic, so my langauge often revealing to me, a cynical perception ....it says many things to me. It says there is no hope for us. None of which would be considered of any value. Indeed I may be still only searching for a "spiritual" candy bar like a child whom knows no better. Hoping to find my prize. Looking for things that will not fulfill my desire but continue it. The best of mankind has a blackened bruised face from the blows of so much evil. Just as my own face is now. Perhaps he should not look into the mirror so often. I look away, but my face is still the same. the broken bones and serious damage, has come out of good. How can this be?... men understand as children do. Good whom sharpens it sword... and prays for war. Evil whom has weapons to dull swords, and melt armor. I find myself desiring a perception that believes in only what is, or my idea of what truth is for this moment. This moment that never seems to pass, but all the world passes in it. So I must abandon the idea of Good or Evil, effectively pulling the rug out from underneath the cynic. Laughing at his ass over tea kettle fall. I never fight, I always just win. For now anyway, even just for this short time here with these words whom need be abandoned as well. I let go of all the world's wisdom. Letting go of my own wisdom, knowing full well I have none. This is not to say I have forgotten the cynic, the doubtful scrutinizing self. It is only to say that I am believing less what I thought was truth, and beginning to understand that even the concept of "truth" itself should be questioned. For trickery is abound in the land of goods and evils. I prefer now to go deeper than I have been going. To where these two siblings were born in a womb that had no mother...I prefer to find my candy bar, knowing full well it may quite probably be not what it is I truly seek. But still will taste just as sweet. It is difficult to speak of such things with myself without the rug under my feet. I may still be falling, but have forgotten to laugh. So this doubter whom I know has brought nothing of any worth to me, needs be tamed, broken ... subjugated and made to work to better ends yes? Serving the real I. Yes I think I would like to see better ends in all directions, so to that, my focus begins to pave many ways of which I will choose one. The place of royal privilege. I know about my desires, my wants... I am not confused about those. But I am confused about what it is I have learned and now abandon... fearful that letting go of desire. Will make its reward evaporate. Which I see now I must do, Perhaps there is a chance that they will disappear. So atleast I am becoming clear on my attachments which surely will be broken, cut and allowed to drift away before these feet can walk the truly desired way. For if it be true that our civilization is only good for one percent. Can we truly say it is a great civilization? I think even the most foolish child in me whom seeks for candy bars, knows the answer to this. The cynic in me also sees that it is not my responsibility to carry all these bodies to their ends as well. So in that cynicism are these so called elite, the one percent of success, are these some how guilty of some heinous evil? They cannot be as I know they are only just as I seeking for candy bars, and how can I condemn them for finding them? Hoarding them, allowing them to spoil without use. So it is not an easy thing, but I am suited for the work I must undertake and finish. I am willing to abandon the candy bar because I know I already have many in my chocolate vaults. Refrigerated and distributed and if not sold, passed among the poorest at my own expense. Ahh ego strokes itself to ejaculation. Living from the desire fulfilled without any conformation from the so called real world is seeing things unseen as real, is knowing unknown things before they come to pass. What crime is there in that? This practice of perspective speaks a story to me, but I will not hold it too tightly... for this is a place where letting go is required, or certainly we drown in the waters of the dream. They say if I do not love myself that I will destroy myself, and if I am nothing how can I be destroyed, without love or what love is not. If this reading is too hard for you, watch t.v. And should not all my phantoms be destroyed in the light rising there in that blue thing somehow above me. Did you call it sky? I can teach nothing, if you already know, how could I?... and if I teach myself I think I would teach myself how to kill my own self without destroying the phantom that will be run down with love or without it. Not doomed but destined. There is nothing to know anyway. Has all the whirlling motion and noises somehow brought me into a wrong place? Have all these gurus chattering like monkeys, somehow confused the sounds for something I should hear? I won't know until you tell me. If an ass brays like an ass, should I learn the meaning of the sound? There is nothing to know and I only teach myself. If I am a clown then all the better. Asses and monkeys each have more knowledge than myself, I know much less than they. A lightness that allows my flight. I have traded cunning, clever dreams for wonder. I stare at the sun like a fool. Still empty, still filled with weightless wonder ...I do not know a single thing. All these words pass through me for I am not there. Still empty... All these pains, all these pleasures they all pass away to nothing as everything is like a dream and never stays. No warlord ever had power only insanity and pain. Is that what you want? So again if I need to know what I am thinking, I will ask you. For you say you know, and you cannot remember how... as you say you know you judge me a worthless fool. And you cannot even fly... Empty, full ...high and low... left and right. Good and bad...I have forgotten that these are all so very important. I nod my head and agree with you. They all dance around drunk and blind and cry out while they point away from themselves... fool! Fool! FOOL!... I am wise! I am gratefully foolish and all my wisdom fits in one drop of sweat. My wisdom is that drop evaporating in the sun. All the distance I go is one step. Dreaming of something I cannot understand the laughter of children plays upon my ears, I do not need this dream, yet here I am. Still happy in the squalor or the castle. Helping no helping, Good no good. I do not see any difference from the theif or the Chief of Capitans. The begger is as rich as the King, for nothing here is real. Let go . Let go and fly away... There is no treasure or trap. There is no hope or disparity... you only practice and puff up your dream and the weight of it only drags you under to where you cannot breathe. Even hope, disparity and all else is a fraud. I only write these words for myself, so I am selfish and share nothing with you. I am worthless. If I want to know what I am thinking, I will ask you. Each we drift down the river, the drowning, and the floating calm. There is nothing I can do but for myself and all the grasping, holding ... hoarding, or stealing... honest working ... diligence and nobility fades to dust when death comes to claim you. So what is it you have done? This is why I sit as a fool and smile, I smile and will not bite. Are you still trying to bite? Or do you just smile without any guile in your heart? Do you understand you are nothing as well? Or has the lie seeped into your blood and poisoned your mind, as it did to me? Teeth are for biting but what is it the you have bitten into It is yourself? Hands and hearts are for healing, but whom do you heal but yourself? Ashes to ashes, dust to dust... if you don't take it out and use it, it's going to rust. I could not help myself since I am the only one. Bring the merchants to the square and let the honey eat the bear. I am free from tyranny of myself I do not walk for only health, my wealth and wisdom...my great surprise...is hidden from your clever eyes. I cannot say I know what your thinking, but the garbage of your streets is truly stinking. So if the greatness you want is there within... look upon yourself to save or sin. If these knowing eyes of yours are best, then put them to the hardest test. Again I say just one more time, if you know me well finish off this rhyme. I wait in patience to see the spark to see the monster or greatest heart. For I am nothing... as you well know, if you want from me then start your show. Gee ward, you sure we're hard on the beaver last night. We dance, we sing, we drink and eat... we shuffle around on moving feet...but in the end again he arrives and all our shows are for the flies. So make no grand illusions of yourself, say not you know or have the wealth, this poem here is not your own, chew on its flesh and crush to bone, in the end I laugh and sing to your needs and want I always bring. Never was I anything but begger, theif, and tyrant King. Into the mist...poof...im gone. I cannot say I know you... I cannot say I understand. I never said I know your thoughts... I never said I'm better... Never once did I raise my voice. And try to convince you of anything. But as always you look down your nose... Not a single time was my intent to disrespect. So again if I need to know what I am thinking. I will ask myself and answer. You have been too long drinking. I do not need this dream yet every morning here I am. I dive deep disappear, and make like a clam. Yeah that was a happy jaunt through, some vain attempt at clinging to my ego. Below is written all that I know about everything. You see what you want to see, nothing more. I am God dreaming he is a seperate entity from all that is. God is dreaming he is me. So the smiling heart flys to Bangkok. To what great world will this bird land upon? Only time will tell. Ubon Ratchatani seems to be the good place. It is where the bird has landed...Though one older male Vieatname yells to me from his scooter that he comes with a dagger for me. I think this Vieatname will look pretty funny with his dagger stuck into his ass. Something like a human meat popsicle... I don't threaten by words, I think it is better for him to come with dagger hidden and silent... but braying and taunting is for children. I think I like Ubon, these are good people who work hard for a good life. I think no one will take away this good life from them, for they are a strong people. They will find what they are searching for. These southeast Asia people are rising and they will not be stopped. I think in every nation in every group of people we have what is recognized as good and bad. Let us seek the good in ourselves. Let us find the goodness that is there waiting for us. Beautiful Asian lady's you are the mysterious jewels that dazzle my eyes and stoke my fires of passion to consume the whole jungle. You are so lovely I feel like you are a flower I dare not touch so delicate and sweet. You are somewhere my Asian princess... I feel you there I will see you and touch your feet. I will know you by my dream... I dream I tell no one to. John Tvrz the wholeness in myself is enough. It is you whom think you know me... although you do not. John Tvrz is not really myself, but the vehicle I ride within. Understanding illusions is not my concern... find peace within or outward burn. I think perhaps you see what is not there. Making beginnings until the end. And now, is always back again. You can see what you like and know it's true, but when truth comes, It does not know you. I am the truth ... I am the light.. and what you believe is neither wrong or right. There is no answer but to do... in doing the answer always comes. In fact I know you this will not like, in fact I know your petty plight. You may be as tall as a kite Or low as a puddle Neither mask do I see... In fact I see more thank you think... your peaceful stance upon the brink. Your ship of fools about to sink. Tis better then that I stand alone and not consider your own place called home. Tis better I cut away myself...and go to wisdom...peace and health. I am free from all the pains and lies and strife. Cut away from me with killers knife. I find my peace far from you, I am ok with me ... I am ok with me... How about you... ate you ok with you? Actually no need to answer I don't care I don't care...for your judgement made is worn quite bare. Easdrop spy all you like.. Everything you think is a child's bike.. Shinny new and fun for you, but in the end your skills undo your whole illusion of what you knew. So do not lend a smile or hand... I can be fine in shadow land Lies cannot be hidden ... Fools are only to be ridden. I am the truth the way the light I choose to die or live and fight. Do not mistake my kindness for weakness.. You are the one whom wanted to seek this. Your judgements are dust and make no sound. Your birth was from and death to ground. My light my life I can call my own.. my life is mine and not your own. So I wish for you whom is I, a happy life... love and joy follows you through all time. The certainty of this creation is truth... and none of us escape truth. In this we are free of our bounds we found so heavy though let go. In this we become the best we can be... in this we can see through this into forever, into eternal new page upon which to smear these crude formations of expression. Joyful child shattered and stained with colors. Dripping with paint. I allow myself this wallowing in words. Fresh and new, pristine... without any blemish, though present through all time. Smiles at me, the awestruck child. The ignorance of bliss overriding the self proclaimed authority of nothing. How it remains pure is a mystery, I have been here these few tiny years and have been stained through and through. I suppose I should cleanse what I believe somehow has form Through the world's ages. Somehow remaining untouched, somehow still unmoved by the flowing Stream of the dream. Somewhere that innocence remains... Without any concern. Thoughts, all like fractured strings that entwine again together as
Oddly formed bumps on my miss-shaped head, the long drawn down chin...eyes too far apart...ears too large...nose set too steep an upward an angle... all signs of a dielectric herbaceous brandy guzzling Russian agent certainly sent to meddle in American affairs...totally Bent on having a positive, economy a better stabilized legal Nation...after the long dark years of puppets dynasty of destruction... it took Russian agents to meddle in our elections and save America from brain addled criminal demons like Bush... Hitlary...and Bumer ...The dogged determination of the news services gone wild had swept any sense of objectivity in the so called, journalist community ...they themselves having become part of the story...fully succumbing to the temptation to be a "star"... now swept well under the rug...our self esteem as a nation has been evaporated like journalism's credibility ... to suffocate along with morals and ethics they have evidently jettisoned as well... 
Secretly banning the arrogance ... I fostered and fed. Hollywood, Television, Internet dead. Turning from brainwash, all your heil hiltler noises. Your greed sets the tones of your bright shinny poses. Plastic playthings, worn well with your use, my invention... your perception a choice made in faith your intention. thwarted in fear to play in school yard. Call me a dirt eating, weird...ass... nonsensical retard. Twisting the meanings of things that you see, that is the downfall of short apogee. Biblical, worldly do not mix together, you make your own bed, under own chosen weather. Original sin is not your contention. Sin is an arrow that missed its seat at convention. If murders your power then murder you must. Kill all the messengers with power of lust. Rusty, dusty, Hollywood's face... now hiding spectre of schoolyard disgrace. To pull the wool off the eyes of the sheep in the stable. You sell, sell sell...all the way to your cradle. This hand that rocks the baby's bed totally Bent on having a positive, economy a better stabilized legal Nation...after the long dark years of puppets dynasty of destruction... it took Russian agents to meddle in our elections and save America from brain addled criminal demons like Bush... Hitlary...and Bumer ...The dogged determination of the news services gone wild had swept any sense of objectivity in the so called, journalist community ...they themselves having become part of the story...fully succumbing to the temptation to be a "star"... now swept well under the rug...our self esteem as a nation has been evaporated like journalism's credibility ... to suffocate along with morals and ethics they have evidently jettisoned as well... cut away the dead weight and report what the master decrees.... it's all brain seizing, gut wrenching, zero news ....opinion forming entertainment now is it not? And America becomes the first completely fabricated hallucination of a "Democratic Republic" to describe itself as one thing ...when everyone damn well knows its another...be honest, with yourself...a corporate Kleptocracy or Plutocracy maintained by criminally implemented technocratic systems... maintained by appointed psychopaths....owned by the old money families whom have insulated themselves behind thinly vailed greed...to be or not to be... what was the question? The obvious has escaped us since the 5g roll out... death rates are up by 30% check automatic funding of new mortuaries all across the nation over last 2 years ...now...they ...the banks... know it's a sure thing... good investment this genocide ...Our own beliefs in decency seem well removed from the freak show this virtual space of endless mediocrity and marginal intelligence purveys into my consciousness... with it's malicious code constructs, designed to penetrate the calcified pineal gland.... shattering the fluoride deposits that had built up around it's form... waves of growing anger fluctuate with the incremental power increases and decreases on the Wi-Fi transmission of total networked mind control ....that is effective between 90 and 99 percent of the time...according to taxpayer funded CIA studies....so the chemical combinations they don't even know about.....because of the attention of focus on vaccines and "chem trails"... has increased long term infection hibernation to somewhere around 90% of every man woman and child in the continental ... and world wide viral penetration is somewhere north of 60%....the final phase is ready to be implemented...the remaining survivors can be neatly mopped up in small police actions without much residual damage to our precious infrastructure... we then can easily have the robots kill the police and military remaining... a complete genocide in 3 to 6 years from the initial start date...but the grandiose designs of engineering planners...corporate dreamers and techno-marvel geniuses always wither under the weight and deadly bright flashes of actual conflict, the arrogant bravado of corporatism fade quickly to cowardice at the point of my knife... true killers they are not... for all their plans have them using proxy hatchets, so I know they are the worst kind of spineless pussies.... they got no stomach for their own plans... and the great strength the generals thought so daunting was daunted in every way... so embarrassing for the traitors whom once felt so powerful... now trembling naked and bound...down on their knees while I decide how to get their bodies buried before we shoot...their armies now on my side... or... unto death, shown honorable... though desertion was a larger factor then they wanted to admit to... we shall find the deserters just like I was found when I deserted... but no one appreciated my sacrifice because brainwashing runs too deep to change... they never see until they are dying...always too late does a man become wise..now that bashing the deep state is popular... every Johnny come lately and his uncle's sister is on the bandwagon...it disgusts me... people are a pack of mindless lemmings...the same people who ran me out of civilization... now all shouting everything I was saying over twenty years ago...everything they ostracized me for is what they are preaching now....totally disgusting... but now the war crime trials have finished ...and the executions have been carried out...again the human impulse to abuse power is already causing problems ...already greed is grabbing at the reigns of power...typical weak willed human beings...I have lost faith in you... so executing politicians who's hands get caught in cookie jars, was not enough... humans always modify behaviors to adapt to new ways of theft ... corruption and self centered greed always adapts to find new humans to posses... the nature of humanity is that of freedom... of choices trouble always comes....  those choices always include the criminal acts of sultry irresistible seduction of the soul...into self centered aggrandizement....always if we are free will we have criminality...we will have those whom seek to take without giving...somehow damaged during childhood...somehow losing all respect for others as I have... we will always be striking his head...our heel bruised...enmity between the mother and the snake...eternally progressing here in this particular flat earth of man's arrogant flaunting and strutting like a vain bird... so I long ago rejected the the brothers and sisters whom rejected me... and unknowingly they sealed their fates... I will not destroy the earth...be sure no man can do that...be sure you know this world turns on forever...be sure you know that when you pushed me away...you may not remember....but all those whom pushed me out ...now suffering so greatly that they quietly pray to die... their tortures are not yet finished.... they will begin to know a little bit about my life... the life they made sure I would have to endure... I am entertained with your terror since you didn't even seem to consider what you did to me...my own suffering meaningless to you...I have no feeling for you except disgusting contempt... this hellish nightmare, you will endure every whit of it ...every painful moment shall you witness...you shall fully feel everything you shoved me into...welcome to your hopeless hell and biblical damnation's right here on earth... I will not reprieve a single one... nor your innocent children or theirs... for you all....all three generations... have fully earned this hardship,... look back to your elders...they have the guilt upon their hands... turn and trample your own families down... turn and tear each other to shreds... I do not have a single whiff of sympathy... for this turnabout is fair play... now reap your full rewards! Doing the work of my egos satisfaction the horrors you move through are all such deserved repayments ....all experience you have brought upon yourself... and if any among you feel powerful enough ...I shall meet you in the center of this hell... weapons drawn.... the pile of bodies there is getting fairly deep... they are the third generation depleted shells of human-beings... somehow brave enough to be reprieved by a bullet... the remainder of you deserve your afflictions...you deserve the pain that racks you... so again now that the gloves are off and mask cast to the ground... if you think you're strong enough...meet me in the center of your misery and let us see what speck of foolish pride brought you to my kill circle...yes we square it off for retarded minions... we teach only distorted power principles here on earth...lest you become powerful through knowledge... lest you realize that you have the choice... lest you practice gratitude... if you were to understand that you can find relief from this pain... by you choosing to leave it behind... then our power would be gone... if you were able to see what you are capable of within yourselves then we would not be able to herd you through the lines of life to serve us... but I think there will always be a space for us in your existence...because more than anything else...your vanity and conceit shall keep our place here secure... your too willing to please ...to willing to sacrifice your fellows for your own comfort....or if your own good natures urge to help shall be your strength...then that shall be turned against you... so you needed me and you cast me out... and now I shall become your Achilles heel... because you deserve all the comeuppance you receive... so never shall you organize because you each must be the "right" one you won't even allow your left side to speak, or if you be left you will not hear the right... your all so dysfunctional its hilarious... your like a giant daycare center full of little mentally diminished children... all we need do is pull a switch... but know this morons...I am still here to allow you to continue even though you do not deserve it...even though you should all slide under gas trucks and taste your own blood...even though death is all you deserve... I am here to allow you to continue and go ahead arrogant thought that sees me as the  arrogance...you are the little prick of misery I've been specifically looking for... meet the Lorraine Bobbit of your particular demasting now you can hunt the white whale... your whole captain Ahab bullshit getting drown with the object of your hate... too few to even vaguely understand... I drown in a sea of morons called America... God help me my country is is playpen for the mentally challenged of this world...Americans have always been stupid...its difficult to admit how stupid...we are so stupid apparently we totally swallow that burning kerosene brought down two massive steel framed buildings and third just fell well just because.... fucking idiots its been twenty years and still you sit there with your thumbs jammed up your asses...sniveling simpletons...no law enforcement...no peace keepers...just gun toting goons...  I do give up on you...even though you shall be spared...I've decided to take over where the criminal "elite" left off...I have decided to fuck you all over just like you did me...of course I'm allot more honest than you... and of course it's a pretty small number of specific people that will feel my wrath...you the mindless "sheepele" as they call you... you can all continue in your mediocre dull sterile dead existence...and I will live beyond my wildest dreams in-spite of your attempts to stop me... petty childish average American...you had better wake up and step up your game... because you think you were oh so steady and reliable...you weren't... you think you lived and played by all the "rules" you didn't...in fact everything you think and think you know... is totally wrong...your whole life is a fraud... your just about to be rudely introduced to... I guess what ....silence....I don't care...fully feel the entire amount of pain all at once...so all the fantastic speculation about the future doom is a diversion from actual responsibility... it reinforces the false importance of the egoistic construct...by blaming dark evil forces outside of the self...the ego maintains importance and diverts attention from itself as the actual cause of all the suffering in the individuals life...taking full responsibility for ones own experience is the only way to become happy with our life,...
 our habitual thought modes are always leading us in the general direction of our practiced beliefs... and the belief that the government is responsible for the problems in your life ...is an insidious way of actually surrendering control to that very "government"..., in a non productive non positive way...you confirm the government control over your life... and this insidious form of control is the very fear you resist coming home to roost in your consciousness... the popular surrender... is a growing movement of people whom see themselves as the resistance...not understanding that age old principle ...that which you resist, persists... so I expose the deeper layer of the mind game being played out...in the end times of innocence... the emerging realization that we ourselves are the authors of our own life's story is coming to surface...that we indeed by our own choice of focus make real in our lives that which we choose to believe... we are the corruption and the innocence all personified... I choose my own way and reject all governments and institutions of man's lecherous greedy grasping fingers ...mans sick impulse to Lord himself over others... I am my own power, I make all my own choices of belief... without your permission I take full responsibility for my own life..

The hour has come, our twilight or sunrise, the dawning or sunset...for both are always present, at the falling rising hour...and we are one ...no matter how mind pushes away truth... I take you to meet Jesus, you yourself... Allah, Buddha, Krishna...Odin...Zeus...call yourself what you will, you are God... I am you pushed out from yourself, both we are, I am... he laid down within man and dreamed his dreams of eternity... we are the tombs that heavenly father lays within... deadly dreams of good and evil conquered by mind and speech... yours alone...the one undergoes a realization...a realization beyond gender, or race... and it rises from Golgotha from where he was crucified within your skull... it has been three days, or longer, but look upon the world... and seeing ourselves in this place, are you surprised that man treads in his ignorance for millennia?... never awakening screaming, killing forcing his "correct" idea upon others in offence over words or in offence over long standing institutions of thought...at the point of his sword...killing anyone whom does not agree and bend the knee... are we at all surprised that it has been two-thousand years... or so you are told to believe...and still they wait and die...reading scripture and still not understanding that Jesus Christ is within them... still they wait for something to appear from without...false teachings everywhere but within them as they keep looking outwardly for a savior...even the vague essence they do not know...even the misunderstood scriptures they cannot understand for they still believe this world is real...and somehow they are their bodies... the force of violence they do believe for fear makes a strange perspective dominate the incarnate mind...its perfectly ok... we are only doing God's will ...they do grow close with their lips, but in their hearts ... in their hearts... I am with you always even until the end of the age... and he will allow you to wait for eternity... the great eternity... he is you... what seems to be is, to those it seems to be...even unto damnation's, torments, and unto death... I am...and that I am, is eternal... and cannot be deceived... Jesus Christ is within you, why do you look to somewhere else other than in yourself?... the unwavering vision of the desire fulfilled...is the living within the law, and the desire is fulfilled in the incarnated world... fulfilled law... going through the furnaces is our cleansing, if a fiery furnace is not hell then you are welcome to your visions... to your own revelation...I know that the only hell there is...is this world right here and now... and this body is like a straight jacket, in comparison to actual self ... that I am... the unwavering vision of blue skies are beautiful and he comes upon the clouds deception if allowed the flowery words of the serpent to capture your mind... to allow yourself to live in eternal damnation's....telling you have made your choices and so have sewn... telling everyone what is right or wrong... or seeing right and wrong outside yourself....always finding fault in all these things round about you... You are the only flawed perception in perfection you are the source of your own creation....but rarely does a human recognize their harvest and they try to blame anyone.... Anything...others...the devil... the government.. but they will not blame themselves the sewer of the seeds...identify ... identified ...by sensual perception a familiar trap ... have I labored in vain long enough to abandon this world and pick up a truth that tears off the masks the pretenders wear... we all wear...casting out the demonstrations that they must continually reinforce in a world of precepts of principalities of corruption at the seeming highest levels... but your eyes have lied... your ears deceived you... your touch has not brought you to his presence...yet imagination the cornerstone... that mankind has rejected... illuminating the way that these words cannot speak of... in imagination I labor without recompense or its expectation... the cornerstone... imagination... surely rejected... I do not care for the old ways and do not care for the blinds description of the world telling me they can see the way ... I am that I am... I am enough, I do not need permission nor do I ask for it... I am creating the script of this story to my own advantage... I am creating it morning into noon and through the night... this fabulous world, the whole vast world is only the appeasement of hungers... I am in the word, that proceeds from my mouth into this world and it's solidified forms encompassing me round about... I have conquered these lower pathways that opened inside my very self, to experience the desire I held in faith until the end of the stories next chapter... I have food that is my mind and speech, bringing me the higher knowledge that these words cannot express.... I reject the false idols of money, of power of all the illusory constructs made to deceive us from the truth...all the weaknesses that deny the true power within us, but I need not reject moneys usefulness...I need not deny powers might...I need not deny myself an appropriate, wealth and opulence ....as we all each one called then cannot be denied the final journey away from this globe and toward some unknown higher education that has not yet begun... I am abundant and successful with my own dreams of limitless joy evolving into greater chapters... he was wished until he were... the history of the family of Jacob, the sleeve severed, reveals the arm of God... it is not secular history... just as a sinners secular history does not exclude him from the entrance... the bible's revel-atory interpretation is not as it appears and one must be called to have the vision... and the brilliant minds of the world will always see the real answer as foolishness... so I move without a step, 10,000 steps through this world take me nowhere, I step into myself within and without the worlds approval... the answer that always was right here with me, nearer than hands or feet ...is found... within ...I am in the power denied me by this world's spiritual "elite", ...they perish and find no reward...as only within myself... David calls me father, and governments, corporations, churches... the standing armies of the world have no power over me... my reward not in this world, unless it is the gold and silver, and power that men wrongly pursue in their hearts...missing the mark...The living single God within me has brought my understanding outside the little incarnated mind whom never could understand the nature of the dream it is trapped within... extracted from the dreaming, no organization can transcend... no thing but your own personal revelation can set you free, not these words, not these worldly failing demonstrations of Ceasers power but real power that you will witness if of a mind to be a witness ... wrought of mind that believes itself separate from God... Cease only has worldly power... I speak of power beyond worldly power that some may call magic...it is not magic, but Gods law...so the stiff necked will always find their excuse...its perfectly ok... the hard of heart will not even need an excuse, its perfectly alright... they live by the law and die by it... indeed there is no right or wrong use of it...as he brings to the evil as well as the good... for the evil as well as the good, God's law works... no matter our perspective or belief... conscious revealing of God's law is believing in the reality of your imaginal acts and witnessing them being experienced by yourself and others without doubt...Since they believe only in loves and fish, God brings you These and more... I am the op-rent and power... do our imaginal actions always come true, I say the imaginal actions held in your real intent always come "true", for this world is made of the same substance as your dreams...it is your perception that is flawed and here and now is only perfection... You are moving toward the total understanding of that perfection and even your own wrong thought, cannot harm you... no matter your convictions of that wrong...you are saved and cannot be harmed...no matter your belief and monstrous things you make real you are saved...it is your ignorance that is harmed... it is the mask being pulled from you, that causes a pain that is not real... You cling and fight and refuse to let go... even into the horrors of death, which is revealed again as no horror...illusions.... your pain revealed as phantoms as illusions you had to keep puffed up or they disappear into no form...into nothing that is eternal... they are exposed as the fraud you perpetrated upon yourself... you are never in pain but what you think you are struggles for your full attention to keep itself from disappearing...you are a cosmic being, containing all people and the entire earth within you, even that ...a small wonder in your presence...If too feeble in faith for a reading of these little entries ...from a dear child... as you can, drink the milk, until you can eat meat... scriptures rightly interpreted will unfold within you... you cannot think of it from separateness... you must see it with a singular eye... knowing all is one, and God, Jesus, Satan they all were and are one God, as there is only one God... but you must be called... you must see it for yourself, otherwise doubt will always shoot you down... your own doubt will stop you ...until your conviction is like one iron rod... until your sight is single sight... your belief in two... in separations continue... if willing but unable to allow courage to deny your senses... your conviction grows past your old fears, and you see the one God eventually, hear him ...know him within you...as he is you... Awakened within your own skull, the wind had stirred you to awaken, a birth from within the tomb of your own skull...within your own skull... Golgotha... break the shell and rise above the dream in this darkness and ignorance of dead men walking... whom still believe this world of death is real... for them it shall remain perfectly believable...roll the stone away and be born out of that tomb...God is in spirit, and is born in your awareness, he was always there asleep, dreaming that he was you... awakened... you know whom you truly are...I am God... and not moved by transient man's limited visions of incarnated world... these passing sounds cannot reduce the awareness that every baby is born with, and every adult can see in those baby's eyes and face pouring out as spiritual light...as radiant innocence...as unrestricted stab at this inspiration that dances elusive to the human mind had passed me by, to realize then that this elevation of awareness I call sometimes "enlightenment", is only my best, most effective attempts at being as God is... and with human imagination alive within my very self, even as myself... I come to always know that Christ within me called by God whom is me, has initiated this new thought, and certainly perfected as I can be up to this point, cannot waiver as a double minded man will do... so to learn to speak always as the ambassador of God, vibrating these nearby atomic structures with these words emitted by this living human being, whom within is of God and ruled by Christ, ad now earthly power is of any consequence, as all power is given by the Father, and no one on earth, has power over this one living God whom had wrought them all, even is them... so when Neville drew me in, I was enlightened at the revelation he illustrated...in just ten books... that all seeming other people were himself "pushed-out"  ... and that small perspective change, just truly living as though all others are myself "pushed out" ...   that alone if carried to its proper length, it is enough, it becomes enough to truly know God without doubt for yourself alone, you need no church, no preacher, pastor or prophet... you need God just as you cannot escape that which you are... you find God within yourself, Jesus Christ your own human imagination... and that bit of preaching for myself alone has transformed the darkness to light and no earthly powers or might is of any significance against it... for we speak of the root of all things, and you cannot be closer than the origin of the matter... any matter... 
Alone....in and of itself...The Metaphysical Theater was of no specific intent as its relates to those of me whom are "pushed out" from myself. I mounted the virtual stage to entertain the self alone. Alone as I witness this seeming multiplicity, from the very midst of all this, quite distracted... and solitary... I forsake my life and pursue Christ alone... within self alone... and hold steadfast to that conviction that has made certain I find the Kingdom of heaven ... alone.... even above all worldly riches and power do I forsake them and hear only Jesus Christs voice speaking gently in my heart... alone...holding true to a vision a feeling... a certainty has no credence in this world, and within the physical bridge of incident had my faith been... I thought myself alone and somehow separate from God.... this is why my attention turned to Christ alone by only myself alone...mystery reveals the holy trinity as my own one being... just being... silent... still... knowing.

Alone

The noises of these selves I love as myself, become as the noises of children ... in a child's perfect faith... God is truly born, it needs no defense or public relations, no mortal spot to strike is there... for no where and all where is where I am...

Alone

Being as God is, and that is only a subjective understanding that nonetheless has unfolded beyond human thought or understanding into the realm the world rejects as fancy foolishness...

Alone

I am a fool made wise in his folly and must persist... 

Even this... my life, a brazenly impudent assumption... that by the power of all creation is fact... my fact... without any power that could stand against it... alone my seat at this eternal experience is not won or lost, but already is... for time is not linear ...and your own beliefs and even deeper feelings are not truth... alone in me all things are but illusion made to draw all beings myself unto God... and perfection belongs to us ...as we realize that it is already here... within Jesus Christ ...within me alive, my own human imagination is Jesus... and this spiritual fact ...confounded the blue-bloods through all mortal history... overcoming all false idols, prophets, teachings and vain imaginings that had no place to become fruit among these gardens in paradise... but indeed our rightly imagined truths have no question of their own authority... no question ...in that they are... and we know them as our own truth... even if it is merely a feeling that had been "discounted" by the world that you had your attention upon... the stone rejected by the builders is the chief corner-stone... that is Jesus Christ, your own human imagination... all true work, true purpose... is entirely within ones own self alone... and all seeming others are yourself "pushed out" ... we are one whom in the travails of birth suffer... I not only think, but live this dream of flesh and blood as all we do incarnate... alone within me, Christ alive ...has brought about this changing of myself... alone I expect and find Christ, This is a being guided by God no doubt...  in my heart... Gods law written reigns... in my ears God word, even tender encouragement spoken directly to me from myself... alone makes me swoon in agape love I have no merit to know...

Alone

In Christ, with Christ... how can I be alone? and salvation is no solitary event in life... but the arrival of Christ in the incarnate... entered here as the salvation I know already is... I know God needs no time, master of all time... our God is the beginning and the end... knowing the end from the beginning, I need not falter or doubt... I simply know... peace is in that certainty, I need no permission or information  from anyone but Christ within me... alone my imagination is the within the bible admonished me to seek... Jesus Christ is our own imagination, crucified upon us.... ourselves the cross, pick it up and follow ...into that place to which he had gone before to prepare a place for me...   a place that opposes the worlds dull quips that yap to us this premise that our imagination is of no significance... I cannot even see the old world and its cynical constructs, I myself had wrought... but the Garden within me beautiful ... replenished with stunning life and tranquility that only divine wisdom creates... I am walking with God in the garden again by Christ alone.

One made of many is Elohim... no God beside me ... no second cause... even these mortal moments that will pass echo, into the limitless reflection of God in me now.

John Metaphysical Tvrz Theater 

Well jeez luis-is...here upon the virtual stage of the metaphyiscal theater...The way I cannot write or speak of ...must be some form of relief from the life that never was...and if I feel that this is this life... if phantom shadows in deep sleep seem so real, then what must awakening be?... I cannot pull my little red wagon upon the asphalt ribbon too long... and pride will not carry me very far... I am exasperated and under stand my foolishness in attempting to convey even water, for by blood and water... and my meaningless attempt at some vauge art such as to express something words could not convey but rather an explosion in the head perhaps as some medical event may feel...it could not be measured... my pretending to write the metaphysical theater this playing as something the world says I am not... and that life altering download from upon high is not made of human thought...has the psychological become all I have? ... it is perhaps nothing more than a string of meaningless text that poses as something it is not that my only "quibble" ... I believe I need agree with one stubbornly impudent caveat... Jesus Christ is my savior and I believe I can be saved, a psychological event entirely to be sure... All awareness seemingly confined to the perception... its the 2nd half with one minute left and opposing force is 3 points ahead... so to the ball to the focus I must go and walk that way without, purse, script or shoes... and certainly no better or worse than next man am I... taking up my cross... and to follow ... that is courage beyond the earthly referral... knowing the end... terrifying ... yet with faith met cheerfully with no malice ... any bitterness must be gone and drained away... I am by all means where I must be... where I must be is the certain mark I meet and stay upon... though God seems to always prompt me into greater states of awareness from which to be... there would be no time if I did not need the next moment... for every moment is truly my own capsule ... my own beginning and end in one event of life, that indeed I had from a greater precipice of greatness wrought the dream here in my mind... thought and speech, especially my own inner speech to myself makes me no different than any "God"... within the folds of my dialogue that I run betwixt myself...within me is God whom awakens as myself in this world to not give away the secret... to be silent and serene amidst the genocide and horrors of man whom has no God, a man whom is in a state of awareness that must grow beyond its first misperception ... maturing beyond its old misunderstanding ... even if that "it" is me, I must be that "it" I would prefer to be and that subjective better than the best self I know is my interest alone, well beyond the desire for you to see these searching words of this theater of metaphisics, as this to will pass, as all ....even heaven and earth... passes away... if not on the terrifying grand scale, then surely for each of us incarnate, indeed this world we seem within will pass... and that passing is a mercy ... a gift from God to each whom he be... whom God is ... is myself as you are just as I am. Broken by my lack of faith ... I must be being as God is to be free... it is all a movement of attention or an "arrangement" of mind... as my whole life is a purely psychological event with or without the "serious-solidity" it seems to have here on this location of mud, fire, ice and water... blown about by breath greater than all mankind could ever hope to be... and all mankind one day to become that life-giving breath itself, for it is already true ... already we are God... already free from the snares and traps we built and called not our own... saved from the contractions we lived and live, awakened to find it truly was, is a dream.... dreaming to awaken as God... there is no theft or violence in being as God is at the mark I longed to reach in earnest... this whole fiasco a preview of the "next life" for it is true with God that this life is the next one... walking infinite tracks through time and lives, we reach the promised land within ourselves and not out in the world... all true "work" is within yourself ... nowhere but within me is Jesus Christ sent to save me from my habitual darkness... from that shortfall of self that I could not bridge without The Living Christ within me, my own human imagination is Jesus Christ within me, even every whit of "awareness" in my being... is Jesus Christ within me and he is closer than my hands and feet, the trinity is one being whom is you...within the self all that is needed and required rests waiting to known... and all effect I have experienced is by Christ in me... even the one unbreakable law of God supports and feeds my increasing understanding and relief... I write as a babbling brook must flow... myself the intended audience, as all are myself pushed out, I have not excluded anyone... it would be a challenge to locate something where nothing is... certainly where something is then by all means each we are where we need to be even now, the true work within myself even undoing, un-work ...in imagination alone delightful... supreme beyond the inevitable appearance of these fruits of faith hidden, stored up in heaven ... that indeed cannot be measured by my mortal person but its own animating cause... my own human imagination ... that whole perception of this phenomena called lifetime within the confines of my cranium, yet even that untrue as consciousness is all... I am consciousness and this limited human perspective stretching out tender arms growing into this paradise that has no threat or danger, but even here the same as shadows play upon the thin mud crust... upon the stage made of divine appointment for the children to become what they truly are... The bright burning hot Sun has been a constant in this ever changing world... For millions of years, it has given us protection from global cooling, giving plants their daily dose of food, and done much more. It is somehow the entire threat behind global warming...lol... It is in the solid domain of the unknown and mysterious as Man has understood and applied the art of deriving energy from this major star to be used extensively in homes and even in industries...but it has no effect upon within whom needs no star for its own seeming existence... Brilliant sunlight reaches the earth’s surface each year to produce approximately one-thousand times the same amount of energy produced by burning all petro fuels mined and extracted during the same period. Sunlight does not have to be explored, mined, extracted, transported, combusted, transmitted, or imported...relatively infinite solar energy is the most readily available source of energy... Though still second to imagination... It does not belong to anybody as your own mind and is, therefore, free. But is your posterior also relased from such bondage ?...solar is also the most important of the non-conventional sources of energy because it is to propagate the concept of renewable energy sources...to radiate and freely promote awareness about environment protection and measures for its rejuvenation...within my mind renewed, undisturbed by the passing shadow of the world... smile and encourage the use of natural sunlight, biomass, wind and other hybrid systems as a source of electricity... as that juice is all by your own appointed choice in time... the metaphysical theater solar allegory that was as impeachment is to the current day a failed metaphor and attempted accusation without merit. All rights reserved, copyright 2020, 
A new page upon which to smear these crude formations of expression. Joyful child shattered and stained with colors. Dripping with paint. I allow myself this wallowing in words. Fresh and new, pristine... without any blemish, though present through all time. Smiles at me, the awestruck child. The ignorance of bliss overriding the self proclaimed authority of nothing. How it remains pure is a mystery, I have been here these few tiny years and have been stained through and through. I suppose I should cleanse what I believe somehow has form Through the world's ages. Somehow remaining untouched, somehow still unmoved by the flowing Stream of the dream. Somewhere that innocence remains... Without any concern. Thoughts, all like fractured strings that entwine again together as one woven rope. I make no effort to weave the hangman's rope, nor do I step up into the gallows floor. 
Oddly formed bumps on my miss-shaped head, the long drawn down chin...eyes too far apart...ears too large...nose set too steep an upward an angle... all signs of a dielectric herbaceous brandy guzzling Russian agent certainly sent to meddle in American affairs...totally Bent on having a positive, economy a better stabilized legal Nation...after the long dark years of puppets dynasty of destruction... it took Russian agents to meddle in our elections and save America from brain addled criminal demons like Bush... Hitlary...and Bumer ...The dogged determination of the news services gone wild had swept any sense of objectivity in the so called, journalist community ...they themselves having become part of the story...fully succumbing to the temptation to be a "star"... now swept well under the rug...our self esteem as a nation has been evaporated like journalism's credibility ... to suffocate along with morals and ethics they have evidently jettisoned as well... cut 
Secretly banning the arrogance ... I fostered and fed. Hollywood, Television, Internet dead. Turning from brainwash, all your heil hiltler noises. Your greed sets the tones of your bright shinny poses. Plastic playthings, worn well with your use, my invention... your perception a choice made in faith your intention. thwarted in fear to play in school yard. Call me a dirt eating, weird...ass... nonsensical retard. Twisting the meanings of things that you see, that is the downfall of short apogee. Biblical, worldly do not mix together, you make your own bed, under own chosen weather. Original sin is not your contention. Sin is an arrow that missed its seat at convention. If murders your power then murder you must. Kill all the messengers with power of lust. Rusty, dusty, Hollywood's face... now hiding spectre of schoolyard disgrace. To pull the wool off the eyes of the sheep in the stable. You sell, sell sell...all the way to your cradle. This hand that rocks 
Joyful child shattered and stained with colors. Dripping with paint.

I allow myself this wallowing in words.

Fresh and new, pristine... without any blemish, though present through all time.

Smiles at me, the awestruck child. The ignorance of bliss overriding the self proclaimed authority of nothing.

How it remains pure is a mystery, I have been here these few tiny years and have been stained through and through.

I suppose I should cleanse what I believe somehow has form

Through the world's ages.

Somehow remaining untouched, somehow still unmoved by the flowing Stream of the dream.

Somewhere that innocence remains... Without any concern.

Thoughts, all like fractured strings that entwine again together as one woven rope.

I make no effort to weave the hangmans rope, nor do I step up into the gallows floor.

Only I am holding the cord that I have joined together.

Serious lies cannot convict the morning star, only the actors can play that part while the light of the shines twinkling into my eye without any distance between myself and what I consider it to be.

My mystery is your, stupidity... your foolish folly is my science.

With every word and sentence, paragraph and chapter,

I weave the length needed.

And who's neck will be stretched? Only the guilty... the guilty one is an actor...for all our value has no value... all our conflicts are calmed and quelled... suppressed by truth whom I cannot escape.

I fill this allowance with what I think I am.

But never would I hold it tightly or say that it is something... it is as time shows me, a vast emptiness I created to emerge from as an ever-changing something.

Something that none of us can know.

To again rejoin the wholeness, I am the single drop returning.

Into an ocean, I never left... an evaporated gas rising and falling with the gentle rain and the violent typhoon.

Water flowing to lowest point.

I am returning to this awareness of all that is.

Nothing, nowhere.

I fill my world with all these choices I have made, they spring up into my experience, only after having let them go.

Do I understand the weightless nature of what I dreamt was real.

When I hold them, they become smothered in the stagnant fear I created in ignorance.

The seperatenesss the sense of something was a dream I made.. A dream I dreamt to pass the motions of returning into my truth.

Empty is useful... knowing is the great deception... I know nothing.

For nothing indeed I am.

Letting them go, the "wanted" enters into the emptied space of my awareness.

The forms, the sensations, the motion I seem to continue through.

Contaminating the perception of the pristine now, only in my within...only in my limited belief.

I create this world just as you do.

Do I choose descriptive words to color my choices as though they were not my own.

Do I make a God where none exisited?

Only ego stained, only personality tainted. The oneness that is truth, was never subject to the world's false power.

Ceasers power can only destroy an illusory form of this passing dream.

I dreamt long ago.

The colors are beautiful, deadly dreams of good and evil.

There is no right one, no wrong one.

There in the dream but free from it inside a sanctuary removed from this school-room, this cradle to rear up God, aware that, indeed I am.

The child emerging from that cradle.

Call it by any name... truth is what is actually happening. Our feeble human senses have long proved themselves to be completely unreliable.

The now is unmoved its is unchanged unblemished forever.

I cannot move it.

As I am not moved by it.

All my self important dramas pass away to nothing.

There was no self to be important.

The now is always generous.

Fully packed...overflowing everywhere and even spilling into this nothing from which it all emerged as me...as you.

It provides me my finger paints ... it rolls itself out before me to smear my colors and shapes upon it.

I am a playful child whom created this, colorful mess upon this once blank page.

They always fade, these swirling curves and abstract forms my ignorant unknowing fingers smeared across perfection, and dissapering in time, need never pass this awareness again.

My thoughts can be chosen to unfold out before me... and indeed they do.

I have always out-traveled the famous. Being unknown I am not burdened by the many piercing perceptions of all ourselves pushed outward.

I have always been more than the rich believe themselves to be.

Being free and burdened by riches, I step between these shadows unseen.

Being unknown no one has even noticed.

That is perfection in action.

This is freedom from all the pains of life.

Being silent, no attention is drawn upon myself.

That is Grace living in me...

That is Grace releasing me from its twin sibling, condemnation.

In self, I have created a story, upon that unfilled blank page.

Though you could not understand it even if you could see it.

This world, is a canvass that we alone fill.

All of us greater than the so called masters of history.

History is lie told by conquers to justify murder.

I grant nothing to you, you cannot own the truth.

Truth is a verb and not a noun.

Though the now itself is unchanged...

There is no judgement or condemnation in being free.

In no action in nothing, now is truthing through me.

Truthing through us all.

portrait of myself, all my own creation.

It's reflection here will not be understood or even considered.

No one but I can know it, no matter how I point and explain and articulate my nonsense, only I can see it, undo it... let it go.

I have become this thing I wanted, I have become my desire, and in excellence my thoughts project salvation.

From myself.

It was not salvation in this material, dream...but salvation from this material dream.

From myself, for myself.

The so called "rich" have apparently forgotten how this world balances everything.

Forgotten it was those with nothing whom gave them all they have in their allowing.

But indeed allowing is a two way street.

Whoa ...to them whom move very far left or right of the truth.

Though their is no wrong or right in that movement.

The truth that you are God, that you are Jesus... that the holy-spirit is you. That you the Buddha, laughs his way heavenward strangely forgotten.

It is all ok.

I am responsible for all my own experience.

I cannot change the now, but I can choose to realize that which I choose within it.

I can accept this now just as it is.

It tells me things, it reveals the illusion and want, fades to distant memory.

In the physical experience, I am softening my sight.

I am dropping all serious emotion... like a snare I have city away from self... A net I have loosed from containing me.

I do not know right from wrong, I just know what I feel and believe.

Even these must be loosely, gently allowed to flow away.

My perception is sweetened.

No more complicated than allowing happiness to be right here with me.

Or the falling away from happiness into everlasting truth.

I allow all that is and search to see, to know, the now's perfection.

My hand is for giving and not to grasp.

My hand is for soothing and not infliction.

My imaginations kingdom is that narrow gate.

Unburdened, naked... nothing.

Within the freedom of limitless thought and emotion, my habit becomes broad and varied expanded into greater power beyond my own personalities limit.

This is not a race or competition, it is not experienced with these senses of flesh.

No amount of my own awareness in this body can be the way.

But neither is it not.

In no thought, in nothing my answer loomed ahead hidden.

Jumping out from time to time its surprise killing me... it's presence frightening the ignorance of myself.

Then I recognize it is me... A playful old trickster.

The ephiny that reveals the answer, springs up from no mind, no thought.

Delicious. Quiet...motionless

it comes you... know no ambiguity.

Confusion disappears.

It is the nothing...

But it is so lightly being all that is....

allowing everything...

No one notices, and it likes it that way.

That it favors no one above the other.

Impartially loving all that is brought about through its allowing.

It is me somehow.

It is you whom is myself seemingly pushed out.

We together you and I...

A hide and seek from myself.

Ourselves...

Elusive and ever-present...a comfort to mind,

in no mind.

Logic, math and science the idiot children of my heart.

The awareness can grow into something greater.

Something far beyond my wildest dreams.

It does take root ... there is momentum.

I can bring upon myself this greatness, just as I am doing now.

I realize my true desires as they light upon me.

Softly choosing all these wonderful moments.

I may have not understood before, yet now my expansion races outward in all directions into my within.

Never what I had not yet remembred. Now,

Always what I had truly believed.

Then,

Understanding does increase, leaving shadows revealed, as what they truly are.

This dead plastic world is my oyster.

This thing called my life and what I thought was me is something very different.

It will be as I choose, it has always Been what I have chosen.

My understanding is destroying the form of my past world.

Dissolving my lesser dreams into never.

It can be uncomfortable ...

But that is not discomfort, is it... it's unfamiliarity.

And seemed few can see.

It seems very few want to see.

We vibrate our experience through our experience of it.

Outwardly from within is the direction of my sight.

Never was the world flowing into my awareness from without.

Becoming aware that indeed I am the cause.

These precepts and tenants all very simple.

Ultimately effective a greater unbreakable law.

The preparation for the promise.

See its light expanding within you, light of understanding...expanding in more directions than my human awareness can conceive.

I am expanding in awareness...present in wonder.

So some greater awareness is without question there within me.

But I cannot understand it... I need not understand.

Letting go of understanding...something happened.

Inexplicable...

It is the directing, loving power of myself allowing all that is.

Without understanding it...it burns within my chest and belly.

Sometimes those golden, bolts of light penetrate my mind.

A flow thats before me and flows out beyond me ... in my experience.

I am that golden liquid light.

Though as well ...it is well that self beyond this sensual world is not quite as I appear to be here.

Another place from whence we had come and are going.

Though already there.

Is, that before and after that guides me through this victory over myself.

Some mysterious golden shimmering living light.

Already done...already flowing.

It was a brave journey into greater awareness...and awarenesses.

Abundance, happiness all a natural state of perception within me.

That had never left, just forgotten.

There is nothing stopping the wanted experience of desire fullfilled.

My choices are more than mere passing thoughts...they are the chosen thoughts through which I percivie.

Experience...here now.

They are the content of the mind, and all mind can be changed.

It is changed, it changes.

I am building a beautiful supportive world of great importance to them whom have trudged the same tracks for these mellinina.

These eternities.

As changing experience bears out... these chosen thoughts through which I percivie experience.

Are always changing into "new" or heretofore unknown passing thoughts.

Greater understanding dawns...

Sometimes known, sometimes unknown.

Thoughts, are not me or you...

No one originates or owns them.

Thoughts, feelings, habit, belief.

Whom in turn become the content of my physical experience through interpretation.

I practice making these thoughts truly new.

It's only a looking/listening in new places.

Though not a place at all.

Not falling back into the familiar known.

I percivie my highest understanding as always present with and in my choice of thought.

Practing belief...walking not by sight. Faith over-rules the facts.

Striving through unknown places.

I now understand that my focus is my choice of experience.

So all these wonderful poems emitting from the stillness become alive and dancing in a heart.

A heart I thought was mine, feeling all that is flowing right through me... I understand my heart is the same heart as all others.

We are one heart.

We dream the same dream but see it differently.

From different points...

physical worlds experience is a series of decisions about how to interpet what "is"... right here and now.

Gathering the wanted together for my experience of the desire. illuminating my imaginal action clearly through the psychological construct into the dream.

I am the oprent power of this lifetime.

Clarity is intensifying my experience.

just dwelling briefly... here now... with these thoughts, expressing them to myself, a decision.

Let them go.

There is no loss.

A choice of interpretation made, expanding into that higher non-physical movement of the unification of awareness.

The unified theory can only come in revelation and not through science... science is at its fundamental core a flawed human perspective.

Doomed from its start.

The higher desires movement.

Over rules the facts.

already done, right here right now, where the practice must continue.

It is not it,whom heals, it is I whom heals.

And always will.

Here and now is my responsibility... I choose my happiness and wealth in allowing all that is...to be that which it is.

Eternal.

Beyond the personality... this reflection of within without.

Outward dreaming is not truth.

And man's greatest intelligence is a moron, slobbering in the garbage of the world... screaming throwing tantrums... insisting it is the authority.

We look upon the afflicted child with compassion.

My pleased agreement or discontent with what is, is not required.

I can allow all that is its place.

Undisturbed.

There is no unwanted experience...only confusion, only undisciplined mind.

Or a mind in forgetful sleep.

Though all is equally valued all equally important.

The evil and the good, both of which are not recognized by the little separate self.

that self, so sure it is "real".

It is not myself but a functional artifice of animal mind.

Ego to be perpetrated upon my other selves here now.

It is all part of the choreography.

It cannot distinguish between any polar opposite...it is itself another construct of duality.

We experience desire only when the desire is allowed to be that which it is.

It is God awakening within.

dreaming he is I.

Already complete and desire fulfilled.

The seperatenesss was the only way to have voluntary unconditional love emerge,

totally through free will... like seeds to blow through the cosmic gulf streams across all space and time...

we all grow out of this dreaming into something much greater, through our choice of presence...

Through this self created experience.

" all is one " perspective, regularly practiced in awareness

or "being" with nothing regularly...

on a daily basis "aligning" oneself.

Very simply...

I do see the seeming others as myself.

I am understanding these messages from God to me.

I have too many words to describe what cannot be described.

Many descriptions but none greater or lesser, nothing is the answer.

There is no answer, it is not found in thought..but no thought.

Perhaps between the thought.

In delicious pauses.

Far away from these words, and these worlds themselves.

A new experience perhaps...as language is fluidly subjective to personal interpretation.

My perspective becomes a new world... all to rear up more God's as this cradle has done here now.

And an aspect of thought... witnessing aspects of thought?

It cannot be, thought has no personal awareness... thoughts are vibrational... alignment is choice.

These passing thoughts are our choices of experience.

The nothing, has no attachment...the source cannot be sensed, or known by the carnal mind.

It cannot be named, or written of,

so these writting all worthless.

The way spoken of is not the way.

My imagination can be the answer,

is as it always was...

it was the arrogance of the "worldly" mind that brought the hardship or unwanted initially.

I do not know anything, anymore.

Emptiness is all that is useful in the world.

Nothing can recieve until emptied, from the hand to the mind.

Empty cup, is filled and only useful, when emptied again.

I empty myself.

Wonderful relief.

Nothing...

Then the serious energy creeps in like a big budget movie.

Only A list actors in our expression of polished lust, drama conflict and triumphant resolution.

Is life a shopping mall with great gardens of bounty surrounding it? Is life our unknown movie secretly looking outward into those beautiful gardens, we as consumers staring longingly out through poly-carbonite windows?

there is no such thing as bullet proof.

The fear was a practiced religion, a devotion to some darkness we once thought of as the absence of light.

Growing in awareness the dancing light exposes its tender parts to me, revealing that there is no absence of light. There was only my perception of its absence that I devoted myself to making real.

Further down the road I see the messenger, whom whispered in a forgien language that my realness was only another part I decided to play with conviction... with weight, with seriousness that could not own, contain or posses this light
... that laughs, dancing ...whirlling ... flying through freedom.

I cannot seem to catch it.

Relinquished weight always temporarily giving one a sense of relief. A sense that the weight was actually something...subtle lies in the dream of nothing. I let go... and always awareness returns like a ghost who will not stop haunting me.

The ghost is that me whom I pushed away, declaring in my arrogance and stupidity that I somehow know what it is that I desire.

And what it is I am.

Logic, intelligence, and science... all the idiot children of our heart.

They are to be endured to the end.

Songs of joy above this thwarted dream of love, beckon all of us onward into the real world upon which our real feet  about a human whom asks of himself,do I make this life a life worth living again?

Stretching beyond my straight jacket


The Subjective Appropriation Of The Objective Desires attainment in feeling, fulfilled. Ahh sweet desire fully experienced. The discovery of the causation of the phenomena of my experience is sure. For no matter my choice, that choice will become true. Neville told me it's a dream, but I wake every morning in it. I've never had a dream repeat itself nightly without fail. So this persistent dream has qualities that my bodies sleeping dreams do not posses. Of course how could I know? If indeed I am the dreamer. If indeed my perspective is not all inclusive... my perspective like some fragment, only knows itself. Perhaps it's of the same substance as nightly dreams. Imagination is dreaming... pre dreaming... A formation or creation of the real seeming dream... is that a perspective? Always living from the end. Neville was a clever rascal... whom had traded his cleverness for wonder. He spoke and still speaks the good spell with more life from death, than many living speak from life. I should do the same, a practice a discipline a devotion. Nether or not I am effective is immaterial ... my effectiveness not dependent upon others estimations. And as the top stone, whom illuminating my dark recess ...has excellently brought a wondrous understanding into my awareness. I regurgitate that successful transfer of enthusiasm upon this page here now to the best of my ability. I am that... or I am becoming that... That which I desire. To be... as in the end I already am. Being not doing... living not existing. This doubt I have clung into, wrapped myself within and assumed was my "real" life, was the dull droning of logics ill equipped machinery. In already being that which I desire to be. I step well away from petty logic into vibrant life. It's all unraveling in mysterious excellence that is this dream I fashion into so called real life. Though my sensual awareness can not grasp possess, own or sell it. There is a delicious new challenge that has been brought to my awareness by that clever rascal, that spoke to me from history like no one has spoken before. Neville is vibrantly alive with me... I can choose. Each choice a movement in some powerful direction. It feels right... it is right... I am awakening God. Blasphemy is the blue bloods battle-cry, it holds no weight, it's validity crumbles just like the artifice of lies constructed to uphold it. In the thrill of the witnessing God's law being fulfilled in my experience. I laugh in the face of those whom take themselves far too seriously and only have murder as their "power", they have no power... no foundation no honor, no authority. Fulfilled by self whom is God's vessel. I am the power that animates my world. Can I be as he had decreed, could I be this awesome power, worshiped and sought ... misused and abused ...poorly managed ultimate truth can be revised. The struggle will end, doubt will be silenced by Love. True joyfulness...fulfilled without the physical world. Or its duality. All happening within and without. And it needs no conformation by any human. So with the physical world and without it simultaneously. I dream this dream I believe so real. Truly grateful for my freedom from earthly needs, ignorance and want finds no foothold with me. Powerless in my presence. even now my sense of certain direction toward that end...its being drawn from my assumption. It's being pulled right into its fulfilled truth... Without the world's prompting or support... I command and the sleeping are compelled to obey. without the physical...while also in the physical. A wondrous mystery to be sure. The greatest discipline I have ever practiced. It is God's doing and it is great. These moments are all a choice... I remember that perfection that is not here, but is within mysteriously present. Not separate, but admittedly unfamiliar. Fulfillment is a feeling of many high vibration alignment points, of happiness and contentment. Fulfillment, wholeness ... Coming together for me right here and now. the dancing birds and singing music in my heart is not a phantom or thin one dimensional vision of corporate fear. Relief... sustaining and nurturing. Before, beyond....now. Very simple... very pure. Practice content...practice gratitude. Practicing implies failure, for I desire success, and there's no success without its sibling failure. It is a practice... in weakness his/my power is perfected. I can become that total contentedness I sense is already. Here and now and certainly my own alone. For thus far no one has identified themselves, as the password has not been given to my challenge. WHO GOES THERE! Be fulfilled in the awareness of this dreaming place... knowing I am dreaming. I am enough. I bring real fulfilling experience to now. In mind alone. In no mind alone. Experience the reflection of myself from within to without. Simply watching in total acceptance of responsibility for what is. Just present. I am enough. All that is is me ... reflection of the needed message in this moment. I am already whole. There was no secret, or attainment... No acquisition... no achievement. More a remembering, more a realization of what already is. Creation is finished. I align with desire now in my allowing. Feeling a current of love whom depth is endless in no motion. Still and of deepest profundity. Happening experience, a sense of motion. Somewhere near the shallows surface. Stirring waters... rivers...waterfalls... beautiful expression of God's dream that he is I. Certainly when he/I awaken this clumsy, stinky decaying form I thought was me shall disappear. But until then I respect its needs. No longer will I live from my foibles and ignorance and want. I do not entertain the idiot children of the heart... man's logic...mans science... man's so called civilization. Very little civility within it. I am being a witness through this world that surrounds the awareness, I think I am. The world is me and all its weakness is my own. A larger awareness within, witnessing the little me, whom also is becoming more aware. Shedding fear like my own skin. The little me whom I once thought was I. Is finally loved as I always thought it should be. Evolving with this sweet stillness. Whom has mastered the all that is here and now. Subordinated and indentured to serve me. An awareness that something greater, whom is somehow myself... has already transcend and conquered these self made, phantoms of mind. I call my life. These worldly experiences that I was so sure we're real. This is a dream, God is dreaming he is me. All psychological constructs... They have no independent presence outside myself. I am all that is, from isn't. I am all time, all things, all people... somehow I am everything but I dwell in awesome relief... Of my seemingly singular self. I am nothing. No-where, in no time. This experience is difficult to express. But I am learning. So I leap the self imposed difficulty in my dream here now. Perhaps there is another hurdle, though it's only a matter of running and jumping. Once again... I have not missed a single one. There was no difficult circumstance, I have already cleared that cross bar. I need not attach myself to any past image good or bad. For good and bad are the clinging of my ignorance. It is ok... It is all right. It's only an interpretation... I choose wholeness in my mind. A complete healing or remembered awareness that is unlike anything in the former dream. Though not yet former. Awakening does not end the dream. I am not superior, my habits of mind are being tamed, cultivated and harnessed to the desires end, the experience I have already had. Is as real as the former nightmare. It's all some kind of memory, until awakening. Some kind of dreaming until the dawn. The moment here and now is where I am.
Frothing mouthed Madman
As the creator of my dream, a decleration of intent of greatness becomes the standing order of all my days. Your input, your participation... is not necessary, my dream... my rules... go read something else. I am able to enter the desired state without any physical, ritual. No fanfare or advertising, I do not need any customer testimonials, because I sell you nothing. I can enter the highest human states of awareness without breathing, closing eyes or any kind of visual cues intended for anyone, further I enter these states for my own benefit, not for the purposes of entertaining a "paying" audience, indeed nothing wrong with entertaining... however entertainers as a group ...as a spirit... as a community of disoriented, pompus windbags have overvalued their roles in society. Hollywood is finished, your run... has run-aground. Madison avenue is finishing your influences have run dry. Political power is ceasing your tyranny is through. Old energy has emptied and the new is crushing it out of awareness altogether. it is time now for entertainers to be brought back down to the ground, to be leveled ... a market correction if you will... sports stars... authors...actors newscasters... all public figures and those working in the entertainment industry from this point foward will be brought "low" compared to the unreal, unjust "height" they have been recently experiencing. Brought low or perished... to us it matters not which. We, the "common" folk have decided to "ratchet" and or "knee-cap" all of these self inflated usurers of whispy, intangible value. The old has failed, and grown weary the new has just begun. I write as a non-writer, just as our president sits as a non politician, as the most successful business man currently runs his business like no business man has run any business before, this is the age of toppling the old energy... oligarchs, robber barons and crooked politicians, corrupt law enforcement, law makers, lobbyists...and sheer corporate evil is now running agaist a solid immovable object they did not see coming. That would be us, we the people, orginized... wise through their long abuse... no longer victims, indeed the pendulum has swung back the other way. War is hell, but this time we are sending in the rich good old boys to fight and die, a refreshing new twist on the stale old story. We know the old story lets see how they enjoy the new. Basically you will all have to get real jobs, get off the sauce and drugs, or go to jails, institutions or death. We are indifferent to your choices. Basically as turn about is fairplay, the shoe that has dropped is now on the other foot, and as you cry and beg dying in the streets... remember these sweet hieghts you are in right now... for at this apogee... can you not begin to sense the pull of gravity? You have now to pay for your choices, we the people are demanding it. We now understand that "they"' the current seekers of attention in the so called "cult of personality", "they"are no longer a point of attention, or interest, never having been useful or valuable to society as "they" have brought nothing to the table for far too long. We understand that they are just puppets, and we have the names and addresses of the puppeteers... People will organize and deny the enemy... we have created this monster, we can abort it by starvation. We are retaking control and will restore real "justice". I now expect nothing less...nay!!! I demand nothing less than the best for my own experiences. And for yours, our mutual interlinked, inter-dependant, power is a phenomenon that the powers that be have long feared. And if entertainment is required then I demand my audience not only participate and use their minds for mutual benefit, I demand my audience accept nothing but the absolute best. Next level arriving with the people, not corporations... they the greedy, the currently losing power are useful idiots... they have gathered the treasures and centralized them for us, we now can easily document and distribute the new renaissance, The new scientific, spiritual and health, revolution... the first revolution for the benifit of 99 % of humanity. It is unfortunate that 1% must perish, but I believe we can live with ourselves. Entertainment is and will be completely transformed. By us, the majority the real power here and now. Entertainment is education and self improvement. Entertainment is whatvwe decide it is. Period end of story, end of the old story, we write the new. Infotainment, political rhetoric, and madison avenue are all gasping dying, idiot tyrants whom do not know anything but deceit. They have smacked hard against the wall of their worst fear. And no one will save them or coddle their deflating crumbling existence. I am only focused on the improvement of myself. As you are only focused on yours, they were a cheap distraction, their time has run out and through. The old ways are through, rotten tattered history... best forgotten in practiced and remembered in shame. As myself is really all I can improve. The same for you, as well we can and will leave behind these pompus fools whom were never that great to begin with. Our government is slowly transforming for the better, our "entertainment-industry" need be torn down completely for transformation. I am the spirit who can see the future free of these current parasites. These bloated bloodsucking, useless bringers of disease. That is a little taste of the spirit of revolutionary "outwardly, focused-blame", the perspective that seeming others or people other thsn self are responsible for my circumstance, or situation. It is the old energy andvwe are not fooled. Even though it will be considered selfish, I cannot think of a single instance when those that accuse me of selfishness actually helped me or anyone for that matter. They are clever, but we are wise... wise enough to know that they are ourselves turned rotten with the old energy. If thy hand offends thee cut it off, plucking out the eye that saw the evil, cutting off the hand that caused offence, is a statement of prophesy and not a choice. By design I am afraid I'm totally self centered. But then again so are you. We togethet remove the hand with the blade of decision, decision is a Latin word, that means cleve the meat from the bone, plucking out the eyebthat saw the offence, or evil... not a choice... it is a statement of future fact that is now! Right here right now a fact. No one but myself is responsible for my own conditions, circumstance or situation... and these outward institutions or organizations will crumble and blow away as dust when each we ourselves transform. Not if we transform, we are transformed! Transform into the person you know you can be... I said to myself, said I. I am that sage that king that greatness that I am , I know... said I. So we should restructure society the way we would like it, and if we cannot orginize, unite and rise above the greed of current corporate corruption, banking oligarchs... evils incarnate...at the so called highest levels... then I will step foward as did many tyrants before me, and pull the genocide switch. Ha ha ha... he he he... No, actually that was a little tease and taunt I like to torture the devil with... the devil just as Jesus, lives inside us all. We are not fooled by the old worn out narratives. You know your power is finished, the old man dies... the young man assumes his rightful place. Only each of us can change ourselves, we cannot force change upon the seeming outside world around us. The old energy wants you to perceive yourself as a victim. And all the little peanut gallery voices, in my head and in the world, cannot know selflessness or selfishness as it relates to me, all they merely do is force their own personal interpretation upon me. As they always have done, and always will attempt to do. Peanut gallerys are everywhere, and peanutbutter is one of my favorite foods. Perfectly ok ...hoist those judgements, opinions and advice for my own good ...right up my nintey foot flag pole. I have a bright candle to burn atop it all. Once I jam that candle in your ass and light it. And a great millstone to grind nutt butter with. You and I both can eat the peanuts out of my shit, for a refreshing change. My intent to undo myself or an aspect of what I think of as myself, is this taming of the unruly, undisciplined mind. It happens no matter what have no fear. The long practiced perception that I am somehow subject to this environment, and this practice of realizing the truth that this environment is wholly subject to me. You are not a victim of your circumstance, you are the creator of your circumstance. As am I. Like beating a dead horse, the flawed self whom seeks improvement is only me chasing my tail to no avail. That was history or old energy... Exactly like psycho-therapy... a circle jerk through infinity has, ceased. This wisdom of the world is crumbling away, dried lifeless dust that is carried away on the wind. Its time has ended. Practicing seeing my utterly flawed self as needing no improvement is my obsession now. Its really more than obsession... its fact. Hollywood, Television the Internet is being subjugated to its unimportant position right now. Im certainly much happier this way. If nothing more...emptied self is now useful. And if you believe that this current, paradigm will expand and continue, well then, you have not been listening to mans hearts whom has been failing him, as of late. The so called current "experts" are in for a big surprise! Humankind is transforming, and current business leaders are blind deaf and dumb to it. Well most are... not all. They are oblivious because they have become the new cannon fodder, in the new war that has not ever happened before in our history. A war without death, a war the "poor" will not fight... its a war you can sit back and enjoy my brothers and sisters... a war you will see the "rich" fight between themselves and the spoils are all our own. Empty self is now useful, The so called Rich elites will kill themselves, well most of them not all. The old money indeed is old, and has out grown its usefulness. Our new spirit is unstoppable... It can catch and release all the tidbits of useful data, as they flow by. No thought was ever original or my own. My so called improvement is...what? Its is a devotion, a practice, a dull unglamorous repetition. Within which hides erything I've ever desired. My every pleasure, through the discomfort of change awaits. We will not be denied, or re directed for Karma-Darhma cannot be owned by little grasping petty fingers of human greed. The old is dying, the new is taking control. Its an unplanned, totally spontaneous realization or remembering that I am already completed, whole and well. So my admittance my confession of being human seems in order, the following will be my attempt at imparting some version of the truth to you about myself. So far ....for me, There so far has been no commercial success, no thunderous acolades, no red carpet... no formal announcement of my royal arrival. And there will not be that in the new, energy... not the new world order which was a fantasy of the old energy dreaming about its future, have no fear the new world order is actually their graveyard, the thousand points of light, are actually their cremation. Ha ha, im just like you I am another unknown face in the matrix. Its ok Pity me... I am totally unknown... the sly man or the fool, which do I choose today? As the slyman you mistrust me, as the fool you discount me, so I will rise as the only thing you understand which is violent untamed, murderous dictator. To this aspect labeled ego, it is much the same to it, the so called "ego" anyway, as committing suicide, this undoing or emptying of what I thought was me. The ego is fearful of the bold freedoms I speak of here, and does it's level best to usurp the coup of it's current ruling dynasty. This practice of watching my thoughts and noticing my emotion without a labeling or even understanding of them. Just gently watching, the thoughts...maybe noticing my breathing... yeah meditation is word I stray away from because the old programming has screwed up its definition, like they have done with many other words. Thoughts will always come, it is ok and natural for the mind to think, and certain popular "spiritual-speakers" television gurus whom suggest to you that your thinking is wrong, or somehow destructive are they themselves saying something deconstructive, or destructive, your thinking is not wrong, your ego is not wrong it merely needs be tamed, disciplined, subjugated to a greater aspect of yourself which indeed is more of a point of attention than a point of thinking....we certainly can do less of it....thinking that is....but its not wrong and cannot be stopped.... ridiculously stupid that the mind "stops"..... its more one-up-manship, its more "im better than you" by the merit of my self described delusions. Its the old bullshit energy When the body dies do you think even then that thought will disappear...ha ha ha ha...deep belly chuckle.... This killing myself without killing my body is the "way" for me, though the "way" has no explanation. The body need not be killed, letbthe guilty do that too themselves. As my nightmares have born witness to. And My wildest dreams have perpetrated upon me. Surely I am guilty of taking myself way too seriously at times. And this seriousness is the source of all my seeming trouble. So the waves I crest, and fall within, continue... floating... this I, I think I am... experiencing profound states of elevated or increased awareness, in which a sense of self has very little, to no part of. To the profoundly disturbing states of lowly, worthless darkness at the bottom of restricted awareness which the sense of self has everything to do with. The ego cannot be eliminated, killed or otherwise rendered silent. This ego whom has been misunderstood and persecuted as the source of trouble, is no such thing. Even suicide of the poor brother donkey, "the body", will not cease my awareness. Or the rivers of thought flowing in the non-physical. No thought is a pipe dream... perhaps slowed thought with yes brief gaps of maybe no thought could be possible, but longer stretches are dubious at best, but anyone on television or Orka winfeed, is suspiciously dubious to me... Im working on it... Im working on holding no condemnation for anyone, evil or good... just no condemnation...im letting it go. My own perspective has wrought more trouble than any coke head psychiatrist, whom invented words for his dellusions has. Name calling, and teasing are not condemnation...and you my friend are reading... I am writing....dont like it? Go fuck yourself... Haha ha ha... im having too much fun. It is merely an aspect of mind that Freud, percieved and invented a word for, really he had invented three words for three seemingly sepreate aspects of mind. Im certain ego, Id, and superego have been fully misunderstood to thorough obliteration throughout time. Im sure I'm guilty of butchering his intent... no doubt. Sorry Freud, if its any consulation you are still at the center of the psychic circle jerk. The supreme self inflated, position as inventor of the lucrative praying upon the unsuspecting brainwashed masses. Is secure, Freud, Zigman Freud.. shaken not stirred... Is still the King of all those suspiciously ineffective purveyors of psychic health. The Ego, the Id and the super-ego, all are totally unqualified to lead me out of the labyrinth I unknowingly created. All perfectly ok. My ego... My ego....oooohhh my Ego Ego Is simply unfit to rule or manage over myself, or my awareness... it is woefully unqualified to be the authority of my thinking, emotions, habits and choices. Hey let go my Eggo...Ego. Behavior is the Iron Gate... behavior is the most difficult aspect to change, Mind is my servant and not my master. Science is the idiot child of my heart. And what attention has egos sibling been given? Why has the Id, been ignored? it itself perhaps, as the Id as the hidden repressed aspect... perhaps it created its own lesser known circumstance... as ego waves at everyone in the parade as it passses...poor little id hides in the folds of the "float". Pouting... I dont cliam to understand the intricate games that Doctors create to entertain themselves with. I merely entertain myself. I just like having fun at their own expense, for a change. I merely like to tease and poke fun at their highly over-rated self importance. Pompus puffed up windbags... Their self fabricated, inauthentic authority of some kind of "healers" of the human mind. Hogwash, snakeoil, poppycock. They are as useful, as lawyers, judges and car salesman. I think their dismal track record speaks for itself. Anyway, speaking as a frothing mouthed madman, I have some experience in the arena of self delusion. So when I recognize the glaring flaw in psychology I speak from the voice of experience to be sure. For all the flaws we see in the world are our own. Writing of this desire for escape from the percieved flawed self, is really just for me as you psyco analysts already know. So I am baffled at any offense taken in me doing a little school-yard, name calling, and teenage belittling of my so called "betters". Its always when we take ourselves too seriously, that our troubles invariably begin. So stand up comedians have contributed infinitely more than psychology ever has to mental health, in this I make no jest... Ha! I took a wonderful walk today, a real high vibrational experience, which for me is a tremendous success. Seeing things for the first time, literally and figuratively has really assisted me in refraining from judgement, which you can tell from the above passages is a real hobby of mine. A dedication to which I have held onto too long. Slowing the thinking during my walk provides exactly the kind of relief I am desiring to experience. if not all the "time"'then most of the "time", during my walk. I am able to slow my thinking to a crawl... to a shuddering stuttering molasses crawl... I use the term "time" loosely, as I am still attempting to drop my entire conception of what I think "time" is. It takes time you know. The giant lizards about eight feet long staring at me, they must weigh two hundred pounds, and some have skins that look just like rattle snake skin. The birds dancing seemingly just for me... the smiling faces of the people. The beautiful artworks, the beautiful golf course, oh my what a high. Great walk, I am no longer afraid too feel that good. No longer fearful of feeling that elevated and relieved... For a long time, I was completely convinced that I was "bi-polar", I was afraid to go too high in my good feelings ...thoughts. thinking it somehow brought about the incredible depths I had also experienced. You know bi-polar...high low, not manic, just bi-polar...Some fat-bodied disgusting fucked up, psychological, shister, had suggested that horseshit to me, while in a highly vunerable suggestive state. Now your piercing insight into why I'm hostile toward the subject of psychology has all the needed evidence you require to completely dismiss me. Gobaway read something else you dont like this crap anyway... see thats suggestion. Dont let the doorknob hit you in the ass on the way out. But really... ultimately in actual truth it was I whom attracted that whole circumstance into my experience. I was not in a suggestive state, I was practicing being a victim, just how these maggots like us to be. I create and form my own perspective, and no one else has any authority over me until I allow that. Bitter vindictiveness and name calling is just weakness trying to help me avoid taking responsibility for what I alone created. For I alone am responsible for every moment of my experience. Having taken whatever degree of honest responsibility for my circumstance has been a real blessing to my mental stability, even super ability... if you will. As I now understand what once was sold to me as mental illnesses. Is not mental illness, you see? They frame it or language it that way so that they have a useless bullshit cushy little no effort job where they don't have to do anything, and you pay them for the privilege of being not only inferior to them but a victim to all of life... you literally pay them to program your victim awareness. Can you see it? I realize now, what I have, are actually mental super-powers that feeble minded psyco-sclerotic, nimrods could not understand. And if they do understand, then they are criminals. Of course me telling them that "I am God" has not clarified anything for them. And if they be aware of the "game" then im sure they get great pleasures and laughter out of me taking a self empowering stand. But I remain satisfied that indeed I have improved, but I still hear voices ...and still I have powerful feelings of emotional experience. Indeed just like highly suggestive advertising images and slogans, one should put no stock into what these bone-headed twits try to "suggest" to you unless its constructive, positive... beneficial to you. Like my "voices" and my "emotions". I still cannot seem to let go of my contention for them... these worldy wise expert's.... I guess at some point I will see how utterly unimportant they truly are. Just the pharmaceutical industry alone is being exposed no doubt, but having so many junkies among us will be a process I suppose. Im working on it....im working on it.... all the flaws I see in my world are mine alone. I hold no contempt, but I will not be bulldozed... in fact guess whos operating the spiritual D-9 now? Whos laughing now! Fucktards. Ok, enough beating the living fekelmatter out of psychologists and psychology. Ive grown bored with it. It did feel right though, perhaps I have a longer journey to full "enlightenment" than I personally feel that I do. Whatever enlightenment exactly is I do not claim to know or understand. You know in fact the further I seem to go with this whole enlightenment thing, the less I seem to understand about it, and that my friends feels like the right direction. Maybe when I arrive at full whatever the catch phrase is for it, nerd vana, shat tory, what the hell ever... perhaps then I will be a smiling, drooling, idiot fool...laughing at everything I see... I make no attempt at humor there. That is enlightenment. HA! Smiling,drooling,idot,fool... yep thats enlightenment. I will have some businesses cards made up. Laughing at everything I see and no longer explaining why. No longer telling you my story about why I am a success or a failure. My story evaporates... Having no compulsion to succeed, having no fear of failure. I am having no more motivation to tell you even this. This story is history anyway and when this drooling idiot uploads it...it will be forgotten. Can't we forestall the total healing a bit longer? A pleasent female voice asks me politely. I feel compelled to oblige that voice, is she Satan? No answer...hmmm Now that was an attempt at humour. writters are also puffed-up self important over-rated pieces of rat pellet, whom are about as useful as a piece of gravel in your tennis shoe. But in the spirit of vanity I will continue to fill this page with feeble meaningless symbols to entertain you with. Entertain me with. Oh yes right, enlightenment ...now theres a subject just dying to be made fun of. These enlightened types with their reverence and their quiet mind, what a joke people! They are just like you and I. If not worse... They aren't anymore qualified to help you down the so called path, which suspiciously sounds like the proverbial garden path ...than a old hound dog with fleas. In fact an old hound dog with fleas maybe the superior choice. Just study the hound, how he sleeps...how he is a master of conserving energy, how he elegantly locates and scratches at the flea... the circulating slow motion of the paw, precise claw impact with the surface of the skin. Only howling on certain occassions, the profound tone of the mourful howl... the elevated head to release the howl into the air for sacred vibrational alignment with the ambulance siren that you as a mere human cannot hear. I am entertained. Boredom comes from within yourself, the feeble minded are always bored. If recommendations for reading is what you may be interested in, then I recommend Neville Goddard, you can aquire most of his books free online if you are diligent enough, furthermore he has many audio lectures available free as well. While his body was alive, Neville never took a nickel for sharing the Gospel and I dont think he made much off the writting either, he merely covered expenses for publication, or gathering places. When he spoke his wonderful lectures.... Of course he was a letchure-er not a lecturer. Inside joke, those that know...know. Old Neville you clever rascal! Your still my favorite. Freedom Barry, who was a cohort of Nevilles, has some stunning work as well. You go ahead and figure it out yourself. In any event this whole subject of raising ones vibrational countenance, is as an important subject as I can think of, perhaps the most important subject in existence. Neville will interpet the King James bible with more stunning gut wrenching, head poping impact, then anyone in all existence...in all history. I've heard lots of living ones dance around and put on one hell of show...but no one smacks it on the head like Neville. No one makes total and complete sense of the bible like he does. If your a student of Nevilles or just a rabid fan like me, then you may recognize the references I use toward him in the drivil I write in this obscure unknown blog, in a stack of blogs. Just a madman... a reject of no importance... Have you discovered the causation of the phenomena of your awareness? I wont even attempt to articulate Nevilles life altering biblical revelation. I am a fan of his work that's all. So back to me ...my favorite subject, I think other than shamelessly self promoting my own vanity into some humbling forum or venue such as this one is motivated by some vague sense of wanting to help others, but I would be extremely suspicious of anything I say. Lets see, some of the labels pinned on me are, mixed bi-polar disorder, psychotic, and severe homelessness, I didnt know homelessness was a mental condition but there it is in my "axis" evaluation. Experts, have opinions...they get paid for them. Thats the wisdom of the world, and the flaw that the old energy exploits for their own personal benefit. So if you read this blog, you can rest assured that I am a medically qualified certified madman. Lucky you. I have since flown to a forgien country where my little social security stipend, allows me to not be homeless yeah! Celebration! so we can knock one mental illness labels off the list, unfortunately for me or fortunately not sure which. I must return to America about once a year to prove to social security that I am actually who I say I am. I think thats why they beckon me so often, now if im in America, starving all month and homeless they dont seem to want to "review" me every year, I sometimes suspect that if im enjoying myself and feeling better, they become very upset with me. Well that sounded allot like a story of "why" didnt it? And all gurus know that those stories of "why" are always perfect ammunition to prove to you why your so screwed up. And likewise you can relegate this fiction to the world of the delusional and useless. One day you will know, there is no fiction. As ceraintly we all know that the content of our thought is what creates our circumstance or life situation if you will. If you will, if you will... If you will intently focus on on the content of your true, certain unambigious crystal clear desire, you can experience that desire in it's full glory by unbreakable universal law. By filling my head and dwelling ceaselessly with and unfailingly from my already completely finished state of perception. I can be, do or have anything I desire. I remember being a rabid Dr. Wayne Dyer sycophantic worshiper. I read all his books, listened to all his recorded lectures.... I hung on every word he spoke like a joke....like a human cartoon character... man did I immerse myself in his life work except his first book, I think it was your erogenous zone, or something like that... I still dont even understand what the title even means... So during my Dyer worship, at some point in my guru devotion, he sold me the premise, lock stock and barrel... that my circumstance reveals me... boy did I fly into a psycotic rage to beat the band. I remember repeating endlessly in my mind that phrase "your circumstance reveals you" over and over... I remember thinking what nifty little verbal trick that is... you mean its all my own fault!!! Shister!!! Attorney at law!!! Total con man!!!what a freaking politician!!! What a fraud!!! You bastard!!! I had a total meltdown...yep didnt go into the hospital or anything but I remember vaguely using it as an excuse for some pretty shockingly bad behavior. boy did Wayne completely and utterly shake my entire beng into a quivering mass of useless self pitty... of anger and of hating "rich people" to the point of endless fantasy about how to murder and tortue them for all the injustices they have caused through history...never did such a simple string of words affect a person more profoundly and powerfully than "your circumstance reveals you" than it affected me at that time. Wow, still slighty affected by "reliving it". I have since wresteled many self imposed demons in many areas of mind, resulting in a totally transformed perspective on that phrase "your circumstance reveals you" that simple phrase that Wayne lovingly shared with me, and I am still an admiring fan and student of his but with a different type of zeal. I guess I've matured. Never was their a person so immersed in his own bullshit than I was at that point in my life. I wanted to become the most deadly and feared revolutionary since George Washington, but alas a deluded homeless mental case holds little or no sway in the world of Ceaser. It is perfection in this world, it is only our perspective that is flawed. So decades of hatred has had its influence, its had its effects, but there is always hope, even for the hopeless. Thank you Wayne, only that little donkey is gone, you are alive and well with me. Top Stone, you know im but a bumbling fool, forgive me...Joyful child shattered and stained with colors. Dripping with paint. I allow myself this wallowing in words. Fresh and new, pristine... without any blemish, though present through all time. Smiles at me, the awestruck child. The ignorance of bliss overriding the self proclaimed authority of nothing. How it remains pure is a mystery, I have been here these few tiny years and have been stained through and through. I suppose I should cleanse what I believe somehow has form Through the world's ages. Somehow remaining untouched, somehow still unmoved by the flowing Stream of the dream. Somewhere that innocence remains... Without any concern. Thoughts, all like fractured strings that entwine again together as one woven rope. I make no effort to weave the hangman's rope, nor do I step up into the gallows floor. Only I am holding the cord that I have joined together. Serious lies cannot convict the herbaceous brandy guzzling Russian agent certainly sent to meddle in American affairs...totally Bent on having a positive, economy a better stabilized legal Nation...after the long dark years of puppets dynasty of destruction... it took Russian agents to meddle in our elections and save America from brain addled criminal demons like Bush... Hitlary...and Bumer ...The dogged determination of the news services gone wild had swept any sense of objectivity in the so called, journalist community ...they themselves having become part of the story...fully succumbing to the temptation to be a "star"... now swept well under the rug...our self esteem as a nation has been evaporated like journalism's credibility ... to suffocate along with morals and ethics they have evidently jettisoned as well... cut away 
Secretly banning the arrogance ... I fostered and fed. Hollywood, Television, Internet dead. Turning from brainwash, all your heil hiltler noises. Your greed sets the tones of your bright shinny poses. Plastic playthings, worn well with your use, my invention... your perception a choice made in faith your intention. thwarted in fear to play in school yard. Call me a dirt eating, weird...ass... nonsensical retard. Twisting the meanings of things that you see, that is the downfall of short apogee. Biblical, worldly do not mix together, you make your own bed, under own chosen weather. Original sin is not your contention. Sin is an arrow that missed its seat at convention. If murders your power then murder you must. Kill all the messengers with power of lust. Rusty, dusty, Hollywood's face... now hiding spectre of schoolyard disgrace. To pull the wool off the eyes of the sheep in the stable. You sell, sell sell...all the way to your cradle. This hand that rocks you, 
Invisible...silent...nothing...totally still. But a sense of endless spaciousness. Is a sweet relief. It is unsullied by my insane thinking, my past dreaming of those deadly dreams of good and evil. Emptied ...letting go ...I can be fulfilled. A new beginning that is the answer I have steadfastly sought. Living from the end is an apt description. Feeling even the sense of touch imagined hastens the experience I desire. Now coming without any of the egos prompting. The ego is aware of its rightfully subordinate position, my ego is pleased through finally being able to serve me as it should. My experience is completely transformed. This is wholeness... this is as real as it gets. As though once dead, I am now acutely aware of my aliveness...dancing, singing, living... my vibrating presence...which is all that is. I am complete. Pain and pleasure are not more than a transient perspective. Something I promised I would do here. There is a purpose. Simply being... and free from compulsive doing. It Is all me... here and now... there was no separateness, no duality without me. This world is not real...this is why it loudly screams that it is, like a child having a tantrum. I am the op-rent power. The world is compelled to serve me... it cannot resist. This very sacred experience is sacred through choice, not endowed by something separate from myself. To be sacred... Grace is an understanding... A gift taken humbly...meekly... Though those meanings of those two words have been twisted in this world. Confusion is somehow part of what is... I allow the world its confusion. Grace is not enabling further unconsciousness... Grace is a perspective of responsibility for the entire experience. I am responsible... Perhaps for the first time. An awareness that I am gently choosing every moment in full volitional control of the greatest experience possible. Only allowing the best to be here now, the sheep cannot help but respect the lion. Why not experience powerfully... the ultimate realization of greatest awareness/experience available. You can you know. Knowing always that I am the op-rent power. That have chosen everything that is... do not resist its embrace... Return it in earnest. I make available for myself, all that is the best experience for my dharma path. For my delicious, velvet smooth purpose effortlessly flowing. My purpose no longer eludes me. It seeks me out and serves me as well as all else... as they must. I am in complete command, allowing wisdom its rightful place. My imaginations kingdom is that narrow doorway into heaven. Heaven is right here right now in my perception. I daily travel intentionally to meet God, whom is I without doubt. I am God God is dreaming he is me, I dream I am God, between these two paths I somehow emerge mysteriously healed completely whole. As God, or an expansion of understanding beyond my current awareness of what I believe I am. A becoming God... as desire always gestates, before arrival. Has God always stirred within my mind ...as desires beckoning, the more burning the desire the greater the "presence", of God. I cannot deny the emblazoned burning truth, I am aflame with its brilliance. All my desires are God awakening inside my skull. I am God, and so are you... the mind boggling detail of this statement is somehow reduced to simple outlines in this new perspective. No longer mysterious. But not reduced to meaningless gobility gook as the ego used to always quickly do. It's ok if you do not believe for God calls us, we do not call him. Each in our own good time... Our heads explode. There is no shame with me for Jesus... and likewise Jesus is not ashamed of me. Our eternal evolution...if indeed it be eternal... is the purpose...if there indeed be a purpose... perhaps its constructed differently, for each... for I am no longer so certain there is any difference between the worlds many seeming oppositions. We all are dreaming the same dream. Unified without the aid of science or technology. We are dreaming ...and in our completely hypocritical, arrogance we assume we can "reason" beyond our current capacity. Our arrogance lies hidden in our so called greatest knowledge. Still afflicted, our scientific minds have a "puffed up" self proclaimed authority over fools. Same thinking same problem, there has been no change for thousands of years, only wars death and imperialism. Nothing more. It's perfectly OK... I just no longer subscribe to it. Only searching in dreams... in the dream, consumed with itself. Human vanity burns in a consuming fire. I cannot awaken by going deeper into dreaming. Though this is what the world holds dear. I have held dear. Practicing implies failure... and it's perfectly OK. Of course it must reinforce itself or perish in awareness. Let it perish, see it feel it... know that it transforms. Into something greater, in-spite of itself. . Consciousness is the death of the egos artifice of insecurity, of phantasms that I have held in my heart as real. Like a struggle to be free of some champion wrestlers hold... I once oscillated between certainty ... and uncertainty I doubted and believed. I neither doubt nor believe now... Knowledge arrives through repetition of experience. Science will always be held hostage to sensual experience... It is perfectly OK. Somehow understanding that my former perception was a totally fabricated artifice of mind. Indeed a dream so thoroughly convincing. I had conditioned myself to believe what was never real. Gently I slip out of its crushing grip, like a watermelon seed popping out between two squeezing fingers. I just saw myself pushed out as three others, they all unanimously "knew" exactly whom I am. A petty dreamer who takes no action. A looser without means, without family, without a home. It is a divine message to myself, they are me communicating to me. I am crystallized in that moment... Revelation, Salvation has no roots in logic. I am so much more than petty superficial judgments... as so are you. As that moment passes, a greater understanding of myself expanding in awareness of the dreams truthfulness its usefulness. It's sweet end in greater awareness... It is our own energy that creates our experience... we speak and those words harden into our surroundings, our circumstance. We are the fragmented God returning to itself complete. I have forgiven myself through a remembering, that has allowed me to finally forget...illusion. Forgetting that which I no longer wish to know. All effortlessly experienced. It is like being the recipient of some mysterious powerful magic. I do not wield it ... it is present...as I am. It is not a force of the world... It is what allows the world its own presence. It is the source of the world whom is somehow all me. Deeper than dreams... My perception is a choice. Silence spoke to me while I dream, he spoke of things that roused my sleeping. Gently awakening I am the desire, fulfilling itself ...in all its myriad forms. Then Neville Smiled his wry smile. Letting go, I am emptied to receive the higher understanding that has allowed all that is to be. Letting go go I am emptied. Letting go. Always emptied, I know transcendence. Empty there is no want. The Father of the Masses, Abraham danced all around this thing like a strutting verbal bird. Every once and a while piercing me with its beak. Powerfully still, in complete deep silent vastness... it is presence untouched... thoughts are distant currents of rivers... Forever flowing to the lowest points. But not what I am... I am now witnessing the flowing, but no longer in the dream, I have no attachment to the flow, a distance of sweet relief. Until my seriousness creeps back in... it is ok i am aware of what the seriousness is... like a parasite it cannot live without me... It was a devotion long practiced, I am learning how to let go. The broken understanding of petty superficial thoughts crumbling into some useful aggregate. I will pave new roads for ease in others travels... even if these roads lead to eternity...rendering them useless as well. Even if these others are myself. I pave away, happily until something better catches my attention... no I do not care what others, or myself pushed outward believe... even if their belief is the same as my own. No attachment is required. I am the greatness I always desired to be. Not because I am great, but merely because I desired that greatness. It is right here right now. The judgement of my outward selves is of no concern. I serve myself through myself and my-selves pushed outward are compelled to serve my end as I serve theirs. This is God's doing ... and God's doing is perfection. It is wonderful... My nightmare last night had definite tones of humor wrapped within it. The symbols had a comical feel... Though I was scared at that final confrontation between myself and the symbolic appearance of my fear. I awoke screaming... it seems I'm still human...still subject to the mechanism of this dream. The dream is in motion forever serving my end, my end that cannot be denied. Nightmare or pleasant dreams are all my own perspective. All a conditioned choice. No one can sell me my own desire... it would be me serving their end to buy some outward perspective of my own dream. I am not that confused... And so I know where success is, and success is not "buying into" some convenience that they wish to convince me is the way to my dream. They are all me and their "sales pitches" are all perfectly OK It's all-right... Neville never took a nickel from anyone, neither shall I take any money from others. Not for expressing the Good spell... not for attempting to crack their coconuts. Besides using the law, I possess all the material wealth I desire... Money is mine already through the potency of an omnipotent ruler whom is myself. Taking money from others for the gospel, is a certain declaration that indeed they still are lying to themselves and secretly, do not believe in the gospel but in money. I do not believe or condemn money... it simply just is. Money is that beautiful regal princess, her opulent grace her dexterity and poise are so excellent... but I am greater than even her, she must obey all my commands or perish by law. I crown her, I do not worship her. She cannot be held for ransom. Nor can she be introduced to me by any outward self. I am not that confused. Sales are not the end all or be all, the transfer of enthusiasm right before the sale required no price... the transfer of enthusiasm without a price... without a single coin in return created no loss for me. Wanting and having Indeed are different states of perception. Selling the Good-spell is not a choice I make. The God within, has no boundaries. The God within, recognized is my own face reflected upon my sight. Knowledge has outgrown, usury... Be free. 


A new page upon which to smear these crude formations of expression. Joyful child shattered and stained with colors. Dripping with paint. I allow myself this wallowing in words. Fresh and new, pristine... without any blemish, though present through all time. Smiles at me, the awestruck child. The ignorance of bliss overriding the self proclaimed authority of nothing. How it remains pure is a mystery, I have been here these few tiny years and have been stained through and through. I suppose I should cleanse what I believe somehow has form Through the world's ages. Somehow remaining untouched, somehow still unmoved by the flowing Stream of the dream. Somewhere that innocence remains... Without any concern. Thoughts, all like fractured strings that entwine again together as one woven rope. I make no effort to weave the hangman's rope, nor do I step up into the gallows floor. Only I am holding the cord that I have joined together. Serious lies 
Oddly formed bumps on my miss-shaped head, the long drawn down chin...eyes too far apart...ears too large...nose set too steep an upward an angle... all signs of a dielectric herbaceous brandy guzzling Russian agent certainly sent to meddle in American affairs...totally Bent on having a positive, economy a better stabilized legal Nation...after the long dark years of puppets dynasty of destruction... it took Russian agents to meddle in our elections and save America from brain addled criminal demons like Bush... Hitlary...and Bumer ...The dogged determination of the news services gone wild had swept any sense of objectivity in the so called, journalist community ...they themselves having become part of the story...fully succumbing to the temptation to be a "star"... now swept well under the rug...our self esteem as a nation has been evaporated like journalism's credibility ... to suffocate along with morals and ethics they have evidently jettisoned as well... cut away t…
Secretly banning the arrogance ... I fostered and fed. Hollywood, Television, Internet dead. Turning from brainwash, all your heil hiltler noises. Your greed sets the tones of your bright shinny poses. Plastic playthings, worn well with your use, my invention... your perception a choice made in faith your intention. thwarted in fear to play in school yard. Call me a dirt eating, weird...ass... nonsensical retard. Twisting the meanings of things that you see, that is the downfall of short apogee. Biblical, worldly do not mix together, you make your own bed, under own chosen weather. Original sin is not your contention. Sin is an arrow that missed its seat at convention. If murders your power then murder you must. Kill all the messengers with power of lust. Rusty, dusty, Hollywood's face... now hiding spectre of schoolyard disgrace. To pull the wool off the eyes of the sheep in the stable. You sell, sell sell...all the way to your cradle. 


My wandering dreamer, the self, or what I think is me, in this world. A Soldier, Tinker, Taylor, Thief... Only you know it all, and I know nothing. What a massive authentic sweet relief. Unpeeled to the center where the discovery of nothing sets me free. I measure cut and sew together, all the world's misery. Fluidly flowing without effort wherever it may go. My life is seeking lowest point then up toward sky I flow. A liquid then gas then in phenomena I fall... Melting metal pounding it out until rhymes mean nothing at all. Unburdened by the desires I once held so tightly... my mortal spot has disappeared to void, my self unmoved by all these strange noises coming from the faces of selfsame, Elohim pushed outward. This mystery needs no poet or musical rhythms. Finding the uncertainty, where wisdom resides. Finding the truth that I cannot know have never known. And will not know...that is freedom... that is truth. I cannot describe it. I cannot try to sell it with clever contrivance for jewels of priceless worth need not be overvalued through trickery. I have fallen back into the dream, forgotten the truth. That All is one. For there is some fulfillment I have not yet realized. Some work here I must complete, and then repose to heavens suite. I do not know how, only what. And that what I shall not divulge. I become familiar once again with the tyrant egos self, finding problems everywhere. Perfectly ok to dance upon the dance floor. With scissors I am running toward the next bolt of inspiration. Finding right or wrong... and eventually fighting, killing and maiming myself over it... Oh wonderful mayhem. I need no permission, I need no Instruction. The delicious state of ignorance the sleeping, dreams serious falsehood. Is where God makes his throne. The cordite hangs in the air...the screaming young men calling for mother. That is where justice and grace meet...among the mingling rivers of human blood upon the stinking slippery wet mud. Rotting flesh, drenching up the air... That's right where God is, not everywhere. Arrogance to assume I can solve the never-ending flow of entropy, as though a swift flowing river is a problem. You have too long skulked inside my shadows, taking what is not yours. Arrogant to assume I ever knew what problems or solutions even ever where. Only you know everything only you have all the answers. Because I desire to get to the other side. I do whatever it takes, and no matter my own cost or how many bodies must be stacked for counting... I do not really care about suffering. Especially someone else...this is the wisdom of the world. Judgment made so quickly I barely perceive it. Rapid fire judgement cutting all the beauty down. A killer has no time for thinking, lest he no longer be a killer. This is the wisdom of the world, and God has sanctified that wisdom and made it righteous... I do not need your permission to create the world I choose. Certainly lost... lost in certainty. Hesitation is costly within the deadly dreams of good and evil. It is popular to call me Satan, and believe you understand, look closer my little child, look closer... Easy recognized the forms whom say they know the difference. When I see them I cross the street, or I turn around all together. For condemnation has its own reward. But this time, the memory that I am God.. .. comes quickly back into my mind, a thunder clap. And I realize that they will step aside for me. This is my world and I am setting it free. I have no mortal spot to strike, and they know using me as an "example" would certainly be a mistake... For pure martyrdom cannot be possessed by the sleeping. Further the courage to admit that I don't know What God is... I do not know what God is... But I know I am it... I am that abstract concept that has been imagined into being through all seeming time. I am God, whatever that word is. I am as you are. You are as I am. But do not try to understand... that is for liars... politicians...attorneys... Do not be tempted to understand. A silence follows, the stillness...deep nothing somehow more fulfilling than all that is here. God is not as you think I am... Though you are God.. As I think I am. Have I died... drown in the river? Has the bottom of my bucket, been knocked out...water disappeared... how will I ever be useful again? Oh dear...oh dear... how will I ever be manipulated again? Ahh... they see a bucket with no bottom and will not pick me up... Perfection is a bottomless bucket. I am truly free. Desires fulfillment without physical experience. Walking without the permission of our owners, without the desire to please the insane. Is faith that substance the worldly wise call delusion. The worldly wise whom always rail against progress, and then steal it and take credit for what they just a moment ago railed against. Lawyers, politicians, businessmen. All these needed to dance the dance of this world's disgrace and pride. All this needed so you can be fully immersed in the pain of salvation. An emptiness caused by seeking for something outside myself. Is it a useful bucket to them? them whom are me ... I find no condemnation in myself for them. For I am them, as God plays all the parts. I have no mortal spot to strike, I am not water, but I can be like water. Taking whatever form I'm placed into. Proven by its perpetual failure, seeking outside myself... has finally knocked the bottom out of the bucket. Sell them that pain or pleasure, either or can get the job done... They seem to gravitate toward pain. Only within remains... Let go and do not try to understand... Science is the idiot child of the heart. Physical experience somehow creating the sense of longing that is the bitter emptiness. I once knew as myself. The bitter emptiness that is the wisdom of this world... It's a false poser, it's a false wisdom... But there is a true one...look closer child...look closer. That worldly wisdom is the outwardly seeking fool, doomed to perish in the blind searching... Science without heart. Stinks to high heaven... Science coupled with abstract revelation in faith...ha ha Has come up smelling like a rose...without anyone's permission. It is no failure... for no energy can be destroyed... no moment was ever wasted. I do not find condemnation in me anymore... I only deflate the puffed up self important fools whom change their theories like I change socks. It is in the mind that waste is fabricated. And too long the worldly wise have run roughshod over the meek. I have merely chosen something new and seemingly fresh... Without your permission or your assessment of value. I have chosen my own purpose and content without anyone's permission or instruction. Especially the world's institutions of reeking rotten death. Rearrange the words, dust it off and BAM! You have an art gallery, where once before the people all saw an eye-sore. That is science. The people, peopleing are all myself in some mysterious motion called planet earthing. I am those people, every one. So if fighting in logic is what they desire, allow them their perishing... allow them their burns and fire. Laughing, I feel the truth undeniable. It is mine alone... Without anyone's permission... I am the center and cause of my own experience. And I need not believe the liar. Indeed I am God, I am. ... without your assistance or encouraging smile, behind which you hide your teeth. You have too long come as an angel of light and proven yourself a thief. My own interpretation is all that matters, in that, no one can do anything for me... and those that believe they are doing things for others will always be miserable. The gospel was always free. Little plastic martyrs all dead... all fools to this game... Right and left.. big and small, I do not say I know it all... I do say this, no wrong or right... no darkness, daytime, peace or fight. In the depth of that horrible emptiness I thought was me, forever more...from the pain I thought you caused emerges God, my own reflection from within to the outward dream. I am responsible for it all. Salvation of sorts...for I'm not completely sure what Salvation exactly is. Nor are you so zip your whizz... Kid. I cast off from the slip and sail straight into the typhoon. Screaming profanities at myself... perhaps I can relinquish responsibility in this abstract manner. No dice. God speaks to me in every sound, every motion every passing shadow a message from God. I am that. Each symbol reinterpreted from this perspective I find delicious. No stopping me now, as it were. The baby's cries are God's message to me, a playfully fun message. That screaming baby learning to be in pain...i wonder if it's just a natural state of the brain. I AM that , without your permission or instruction your instruction is a smile behind which you hide your ignorance. Your teeth fell out long ago. The speeding cars, the passing jets... all language now... all a message to my self, about myself. Everything is now compelled to assist me. For I have chosen assistance. I cannot be stopped or denied. Your condemnation only points back at yourself, I say to myself, said I. Your condemnation only points back at YOUR self... You can say that again... You see in the world that which you are. So indeed I am not which you think I am... You are what you think I am. God communicating in the sound of the wind through the pine needles and the glint of sunlight in the dew drop. That smell of earth and flowers... In that moment, I learned more than all the teachers ever taught to all the students throughout all history, future and this moment right here and now. A instant crash of bliss... I drop the charade of understanding and stand in wonder, in awe. I know nothing, and all the stupid babbling of puffed up scholars now makes me laugh until I pee. I do not really know, I will never be certain again. I am free. I am free. I am free. The metaphor in the passers by, each step a word in many deep passages of sacred communication. I am free from tyranny at-b-last the ultimate sacred nation. A new language I cannot speak. Always pointing toward my true desire, I see God's hands in my world everywhere. God has stabbed me in the face with his fixed bayonet. I am free now...without your permission. Free may you be yet. They are my own digits manipulating the various forms of self. Indeed many arms coming out from my chest. It was I ..ego charged up over the trenches protection ran screaming and thrust my blade into your face... my own. Continued running into unknown... All the horrible screaming and cries for mommy make sense, like a sweet symphony now, and you would never agree I'm sure. It's ok though, it's my story you are just reading... suck it up buttercup. Without your permission, I am free... Free to be a pirate, or a priest... A cop or a criminal beast. Upon your body I do now feast...eating Jesus, is my privilege to say the least. I do not need the wisdom of this world, the same wisdom whom has perpetually failed through all eternal seeming time... Civilization is a great idea for one percent of people... That's a pretty horrendous failure percentage. I am stopping mid-complaint to switch the old for new, I smile and let go... I need not continue in the course of destruction I was speeding along. Just a few moments ago... All my life is advisable...malleable totally open to reinterpretation. My bloody blade dripping, I see another super lifer, whom is begging for this dance. Why don't I light a fire under his pants? I can oblige or disappear its always my own choice. As you can utter words yourself you do have your own voice. I complained about something, I cannot remember what it was, I am constantly catching myself in this destructive thinking. If I wrote another word you would have to say I'm stinking. I guess that is the practice as un-glamorous as that is. To catch myself and revise, until those wanted thoughts and feelings continue unsupervised. In this self condemnation that I thought was righteousness. I have turned the rifle upon myself... I am free now, without your permission. No longer on the shelf. I see that, my anger will leave no mark... my every effort coming to naught. Perfection... PERFECTION... Perfection I say...and choices all do melt. What makes the grass grow green! Blood! Blood! Blood! I am shocked at the content of my own mind. Fake blushing. My past results in experience become crystal clear. Fake modesty. Illuminated fear. I am fully responsible. For all I've wrought, with or without you... anywhere my phantoms are all caught. I cannot be afraid to seek the depth of it, there at its deepest point I knock a hole through the bottom... all that personality drains out into some neutral invisible fantastic place... rendering my past self, benign... But not forgotten. I can build the new perspective of freedom I have sought to know so long. Without your permission. And let go of that as well... Without your instruction. Stillness presence always with me, even if I slip... It is there to stop my fall. Each in their own good time...each the rising and the fall. It cannot be understood nor described, nor possessed otherwise owned by lecherous greedy grasping little filthy fingers... Corporate mentality... Perfection...justice...myself fulfilled and whole. I break through their well dressed brutality. For now as I set the cup down the table is no longer solid. But the cup does not slip through... Until I do. Now as I look at the buildings wall...seeing through it into some other place, into some other space not here on this screen of space. This dead plastic world of fraudulent insecure little petty tyrants. When the sound that once enraged me comes, I feel no hate, but hate is not a spirit I have forgotten. Foibles are still quite present, but they no longer leave a mark upon me. Like in anything... I now don't seem to quite understand, which is everything the wisdom that escapes the world comes to interpret for me... in a language I cannot speak. Without your permission I slip away with all that treasure you stole. Certainly I must be the most wanted man alive... We both know that I have given it all back to them whom you had taken it from... you can no longer be that tyrant... you are forced to be one of us... Your greatest fear has come upon you, as my greatest joy breaks the plane of that muddy trench...
A new page upon which to smear these crude formations of expression. Joyful child shattered and stained with colors. Dripping with paint. I allow myself this wallowing in words. Fresh and new, pristine... without any blemish, though present through all time. Smiles at me, the awestruck child. The ignorance of bliss overriding the self proclaimed authority of nothing. How it remains pure is a mystery, I have been here these few tiny years and have been stained through and through. I suppose I should cleanse what I believe somehow has form Through the world's ages. Somehow remaining untouched, somehow still unmoved by the flowing Stream of the dream. Somewhere that innocence remains... Without any concern. Thoughts, all like fractured strings that entwine again together as one woven rope. I make no effort to weave the hangman's rope, nor do I step up into the gallows floor. Only I am holding the cord that I have joined together.
Oddly formed bumps on my miss-shaped head, the long drawn down chin...eyes too far apart...ears too large...nose set too steep an upward an angle... all signs of a dielectric herbaceous brandy guzzling Russian agent certainly sent to meddle in American affairs...totally Bent on having a positive, economy a better stabilized legal Nation...after the long dark years of puppets dynasty of destruction... it took Russian agents to meddle in our elections and save America from brain addled criminal demons like Bush... Hitlary...and Bumer ...The dogged determination of the news services gone wild had swept any sense of objectivity in the so called, journalist community ...they themselves having become part of the story...fully succumbing to the temptation to be a "star"... now swept well under the rug...our self esteem as a nation has been evaporated like journalism's credibility ... to suffocate along with morals and ethics they have evidently jettisoned as well... cut 
Secretly banning the arrogance ... I fostered and fed. Hollywood, Television, Internet dead. Turning from brainwash, all your heil hiltler noises. Your greed sets the tones of your bright shinny poses. Plastic playthings, worn well with your use, my invention... your perception a choice made in faith your intention. thwarted in fear to play in school yard. Call me a dirt eating, weird...ass... nonsensical retard. Twisting the meanings of things that you see, that is the downfall of short apogee. Biblical, worldly do not mix together, you make your own bed, under own chosen weather. Original sin is not your contention. Sin is an arrow that missed its seat at convention. If murders your power then murder you must. Kill all the messengers with power of lust. Rusty, dusty, Hollywood's face... now hiding spectre of schoolyard disgrace. To pull the wool off the eyes of the sheep in the stable. You sell, sell sell...all the way to your cradle. This hand that rocks you, The Metaphysical Theater

The Metaphysical Theater is a blog about a human whom asks the question of himself, how do I make this life a life worth living again?

the worst generation

If no use can be found within your perception of this stream of concioussness ... you are currently reading... then by all means... abandon the continued pursuit... for the whole "never quit" attitude... is the same attitude that has brought you nuclear war... private and government warfare...psychological warfare... imperialism... the current monetary system and the ever entertaining judicial sysyem... just to name a few doozies... this "civilization" carved out of murderous slaughter and wholesale theft from itself... in its double mindedness...in its own ignorance to transcend the belief in second causes... a God outside the self... to believe in external appearance... the fool believes in the civil aspect of "civilization" ... this perspective has its obvious disadvantages... superficial double minded, and most obviously untrue... what's even more insidious... is that these conditions seen by myself... in a seemingly outside and seperate world from myself ... are indeed a reflection of my own beliefs or faith within ... everybody, everything I witness in this seemingly seperate world of ten-thousand things... is in truth...my whole internal "sub-concious" content projected upon the "screen of space" or awareness... leaving only this sense of I am remaining... and I am is all that is... affirmations becoming the real cause... even disbelief in affirmations is an affirmation... the mental-emotional mechanism or the process is always unchanged ... this focus adds unto itself more of its own attention... the scene in mind ...what I focus on expands... leaving all but my focus unknowable... and so this strangest secret continues in its course... it is me ... as all is me... feeling perfection... drawing more quickly ... the expansion of perfection in my awareness... has and will continue to draw this perfection, the object of my focus, into my personal view... so my conjured phantoms of past misunderstanding... are left free and exposed to evaporate in the light of shinning truth... I see limitless expansion beyond this mortal experience... beyond three dimensions... beyond the carnal senses... immagination, is the limitless source of water, or spiritual understanding... which comes as a living, personal revelation in the mind... and the very heart of the being... of the conciever... the wine of life expirence... is the water of spirtualgrowth or spiritual understanding mysteriously turning to wine or the physical result of my faith... taking wine for my stomachs sake... is living by faith... experiencing the object of my desire... truly walking by faith... I am the desires accomplishment, for if I were to climb a mountain... I would always start at the top... without doubt ...the quickly emerging evidence of my faith expanding daily... I am the unrestrained flow of opulence overflowing into expanding awareness... this immensely satisfying awareness... has brought about the mindfulness required to truly witness the power of law upon ...this... my so called life ...upon the sphere of earth... my understanding revealing the truth that I am the wholeness of the incarnated dream, and though perhaps at first disturbing ...the realization that it is only I, just as it is only you causing your own experience... your own circumstances... I am all that is... this experience here now a reflection of myself within... no seperatenesss actually exists... it is only me here now... all others myself pushed out from myself... each moment offering its divine communication unto me... and so even my jests become fruitful investments... there is no fiction...each thought and feeling returning to the sender... all unified by the very ability to percivie it... all one concioussness... whom sought in omnipotent rule over all that is, an authentic experience of seperatenesss... having so long been omnipotent... in a yen for his yang...he created this entire world from himself... and so this world born in its own self... of and for its own self... again before expanding... the world whom is I... contracted to its absolute limit of diluted power... to find authentic influence... from itself alone... honestly expanding... purity is the absence of conditioned "self"... the unconditioned concioussness or just "I am"... without personality or limit... is what the acient writers intended as the meaning of the word "God"... the strangest fact... is that all human experience is psycological... and solely of itself unto itself... within illusions of seperation are the very details of God's mysterious communication unto you... all that seems to be not you or seperate from you... is God speaking to you... as all that is ... is only you... it is not as it appears to be... the difficult concept to hold in understanding is that likewise your own image in the seeming others concioussness is equally "only themselves"... though difficult to see at first... after dwelling in that comprehension of the causation of the phenomena of sensual experience or life...the awareness that indeed all is one, and that one is myself.... becomes clear and stays clear... like no other premise... of course this focus gathers unto itself more and more evidence of its own truth... as the object of our attention must grow... I choose to invest my time believing the best of myself and others whom are myself... so all these moments in a greater awareness of how I feel...how I really feel below all the noise of being incarnate...awareness of feelings have benefited me by infinitely greater degrees... than any other method of "improvement" ... to hear myself... say through another... to myself... "don't expect too much to avoid disappointment"... seems an obvious misuse of the Law... I rise to the level of my belief in myself... I believe myself God... God wearing this current concept of itself... which is my personality... this truth of me creating all that I experience... is indeed a freeing belief...with strange practice it becomes effortless...and my personality has been freed from the seeming bondage of mortality... I pass unnoticed... dead to the world...alive to the cause of the world... I live in total satisfaction which has nothing to do with material wealth... I have chosen this wisdom that creates world's...priceless escape... the wealth of value beyond all money on earth has found its way to me as myself... and with review of all times passing, my immortal self was never in any one single circumstance, but within them all and limitless... all abundance or lack... a fullfiment of my own responsibility to myself... faith brought the needed components right at the proper time, into my expirence in order for my awareness to rise as the savior of itself.... providing the excesses and the contrast of each arrival... to my world or life or expirence... my greatest accomplishments are merely my faith in God whom is not seperate from myself... my faith has brought all my opulence into stark relief in my life... to continue to illuminate the fact that your circumstances reveal that which you truly believe... I in this awareness expirence my desires truth here now... I grow ever more in favor of God... my greatest self... the bright light of understanding leading me further away from peril into perfection... I can be the entity I believe I am ...in fact ...I am always that which I believe I am... I am the desires accomplishment, I am feeling it real by living from the fullfilled desire and not merely of it... for in ignorance mostly, we create our worlds... until we practice these subtle awarenesses... the effortless belief or autonomic expectation... being more aware of actual processes of experience... is the most productive use of time... mindfulness is the popular catch word... the feeling the emotional feeling has more to do with "attraction" than we know... feelings are the powerful engine's that bring us our life's moments... emotional feelings and true belief are linked closely together... it is surprising to realize that our true belief is totally unknown to our concious self... the mood is crucial... being aware of our true "mood" and repeatedly changing the mood... will bring about changes in worldly circumstance... either greatly desired changes... or greatly feared changes... as the object of our attention must grow... the object of our attention becomes our subconscious belief...which in turn ...emerge as our incarnate experience... the subconscious is the actual cause if you will...the simple process of our lives... is of course largely going unnoticed by ourselves ... it is foolishness unto us as worldly wise people ... though it must be more and more exposed...exposed as disrupting to the status-quo... truth to the "masses" ...shown as what it is ...which is God unraveling the mystery of self ...to all whom is self... my attention causes the object of it to grow... so I choose limitless wisdom, opulence and health with happiness... deep secure physical wealth is the symptom of true subconscious belief in that phyisical condition ... as all these events in our lives are symptoms...of strong belief... no thing here in sensual experience is cause... this life is all effect...effect of our spiritual circumstance, our innermost belief...this life is emerging from a greater dimension that we cannot comprehend with our carnal senses... the subconscious is spiritual... it is nonphyisal ...and the content of our subconscious is all we experience in concioussness ... the good news is that your subconscious is and can continue to be conditioned by the concious awareness... or waking state... we choose all our convictions... our belief is just that... belief.... and all our constant habits of mind/emotion... build up in us to emerge as our experience... we are not victims of circumstances, but the cause of them... I am free in non-physical... as that freedom emerges in my life, I become again totally convinced that my imaginal action is the mainspring of my life expirence... though our immaginations are seemingly discounted and systematically marginalized as some will of the wisp, fanciful useless appendage of the mind... I know that my immagination is the very throne of God I seek with all my heart and soul to find, casting away apathy... seeing Jesus Christ as the voice of God, the savior and the son of God all strongly points at the corner stone the builders rejected... which is Jesus Christ which is my own wonderful human immagination.... thank top stone...eternally thanking Neville Goddard... I am so grateful to be at that pool now when you floated by me indifferent to my presence... made whole in your wholeness... I cannot deny... even you whom is I, speaking so clearly in the din...in the noise, like a hurricane... your sword cutting meat from the bone cleaving away clean... my decision ...cemented stubbornly then as an oak in minds garden ... my immovable true faith constant in its appearance ...still not yet remaining the same... as expansion causes eternal change which is our evolution... not through the physical but our evolution in the non physical... causing evolution in physical... as well this incarnated experience as all our "world" is but a phantom... a shadow caused by the bright light of perfect understanding.... we are that light, it was never seperate from any of us... and never was there a second cause outside of the self... this strange, even unbelievable thing is the "hard thing" from scripture... they told him... it's such a hard thing master... and whom can bear it?... you can do more than bear it... more than just overcomers... you will do greater things than I... greater things... only limited by belief in what can and cannot be... only limited by the concievers faith... and the entire bible is addressed to imaginal self... you are everything... all the parts... you are Jesus, the disciples... you are the crowd screaming for Barabus ... you are Pilot, and Barabus... you play all the characters and parts... you in your infinite wisdom created endless numbers of yourself... and the journey back to your own personal psycological singularity... is this magical mysterious journey you find yourself in now... it matters not what the other selves reflect back to you, yes it is a message... but is the message of people being undesirable and your own calm indifference of the outward appearance... I am not affected by any outward occurrence...my peaceful center of being is the fruit... the house has its foundation built on a non physical rock and cannot be affected by the phyisical world... you will find everything and everyone... eventually powerless against your strong assumptions... my own certainty has brought about all that is... I expect all my blessings and gifts....after my full responsibility and awareness has been claimed and consummated in its constant use... I become... have been ...and I am now ...aware that I am God, creating every aspect of expirence through the experience itself... though living... all life... I am truly faceless and formless... I am your own wonderful human immagination and it's disciplined, tamed mind, correct use of law... in action...responsible for everything in my life... truly everyone just as I am, though aware or not... of its presence ... no one but the self can say... so first be completely selfish... in order to find a viable physical path to helping others.... first be certain of what and where this heaven within is... this kingdom of God within... is without doubt your own imagination... and whether you use your immagination wisely or its opposite... everyone everything is a psychological interpretation of the within in process... the imaginal action of Christian faith... your truest self or spiritual self is the cause of your phyisical experience ...and this process is unchanged... regardless of the individual awareness of it... indifferent to your "faith"... God shines on all... the evil and the Good... God is your unconditioned concioussness... you... the son of God... have Jesus crucified within your own mind right now... the symbolic crucifixion is your limitless immagination contained within this incarnated mind seemingly within this phyisical world with other incarnated beings similar and dissimilar to self.... we live our totally singular drama as an individual within multiplicity... to keep the illusions of seperation in place... constantly reaffirming itself as "real"... people obsessed with "authentic" vs. "Fake" but all this world is a dream... malleable to my touch... and so this world continues on without... us forever making Gods, to expand unending numbers of multi-verses... expansion is the only direction... though contraction of God is man... you are as limited as God can be in your personality... though your true self does not know what limitation is... total omnipotence cannot even comprehend what a limitation even is... and you would find yourself powerless to explain it to omnipotent understanding...but only in practice...not in theory... metaphor or symbolic communication not withstanding ... I find God quite humorous... quite a playful God, and indeed this game is a game of how well of my neighbor can I think? ... what great and noble achievements do I see my neighbor possessing accomplishing... the happiness of my neighbor is important in heaven... without it... no heaven would be on earth, but in the mind alone.... so then present but unseen on earth... heaven in my mind reigns here on earth...unnoticed...even rejected, even dispised... but the only living God ...none the less... wonderful State of the union ...between my responsibility and the creation of expirence ...my feelings and the power of of my feeling to create the wanted and unwanted... I am un afraid of my power... it has no bad effect... these dreams are for learning how to bask within the wanted fullfilment of my greatest strongest... cannot live without it... always aware of its presence desire... I live in the fullfilment long before anyone else is aware of it... my fortune is no matter of chance or fate... but my steering of mind into the life ...my own... I create... though create is misleading... since all creation is already finished... finished as available states of mind to percivie through the very best of the phenomena of sensual experience ...the realization that your salvation and relief is ...you... is your responsibility... you are responsible ...you have response-ability... and all states of awareness already exist to be in alignment with... wonderful State of awareness available attained... moving toward the innermost belief my world... is transfigured by my own power of choice... to be greater or more aware... my attention simply becomes aware of the greater capacity and what that greater capacity feels like... since I already have the greater capacity... I simply rejoice... I simply assume the fact until everyone else is totally aware of it... it does emerge as worldly experience... I am now free of want through this psychological practice of my imagination... the world bends to my belief... greater ability to use my imaginal power comes through the experience of its truth... and so without cost... without price I eat and drink... the body and blood... real in every carnal sense... my assumptions become fact... there is no power on earth that is of the slightest significance against my own assumption... effortless action is all imaginal... and the expectation is fullfilled... the phyisical effects of my imagination are easily reproduced without phyisical effort... and the planting of the seeds are not in vain... up out of my unconditioned concioussness all that is... has already risen... we cannot harness time until we step outside its imaginary confines... perhaps all time is always present... and my dimensionally greater self is fully aware of the non linear nature of "time" ... even present in non linear time... fully aware of all events future and past... this current human awareness is seemingly confined along a linear track... I feel strongly... a purpose in our illusion of seperation... our experience as a mortal incarnated being is for our own great purpose... our own great reason to be this earthbound misfit... in mystery God's ways of "how" are never known... so I persist...in "what"... and by perfectly normal occurrence my assumption becomes fact... treading the wine-press... emerging as the crops and wilds do... each day another splendid opportunity to praise the great name of God in gratitude... perfect love... for there is true the claim, that nothing is too hard for God... if there be something too hard for God, what is that thing?... what be too hard for God? There is nothing so difficult that the immagination cannot resolve within itself... there is no memory that cannot be revised... for certainly belief is and has always been subjective... no matter the world's rejection... even that explained in perfection... for our own perspective is the flawed component... the view of our world is seen as we choose... we have a long history as human beings in choosing ignorance... for this stark truth of responsibility seems to terrify most... but the only real freedom available is the assumption of my own responsibility in all things... so if I complain about something... it is my own choice I am complaining about... so obviously my own responsibility... but if I speak as a complaint... then you can be sure I have fallen back asleep and believe this dream a real world... I had forgotten the truth and believe again in seperateness... so awaken me then...that I may know it was I whom caused the offense... and not the seeming other whom is I... I pushed out beyond this mortal coil...another God in embryo... another magnificent being of love... I am.

A new page upon which to smear these crude formations of expression. Joyful child shattered and stained with colors. Dripping with paint. I allow myself this wallowing in words. Fresh and new, pristine... without any blemish, though present through all time. Smiles at me, the awestruck child. The ignorance of bliss overriding the self proclaimed authority of nothing. How it remains pure is a mystery, I have been here these few tiny years and have been stained through and through. I suppose I should cleanse what I believe somehow has form Through the world's ages. Somehow remaining untouched, somehow still unmoved by the flowing Stream of the dream. Somewhere that innocence remains... Without any concern. Thoughts, all like fractured strings that entwine again together as one woven rope. 
Oddly formed bumps on my miss-shaped head, the long drawn down chin...eyes too far apart...ears too large...nose set too steep an upward an angle... all signs of a dielectric herbaceous brandy guzzling Russian agent certainly sent to meddle in American affairs...totally Bent on having a positive, economy a better stabilized legal Nation...after the long dark years of puppets dynasty of destruction... it took Russian agents to meddle in our elections and save America from brain addled criminal demons like Bush... Hitlary...and Bumer ...The dogged determination of the news services gone wild had swept any sense of objectivity in the so called, journalist community ...they themselves having become part of the story...fully succumbing to the temptation to be a "star"... now swept well under the rug...our self esteem as a nation has been evaporated like journalism's credibility ... to suffocate along as mediocrity is endlessly
Secretly banning the arrogance ... I fostered and fed. Hollywood, Television, Internet dead. Turning from brainwash, all your heil hiltler noises. Your greed sets the tones of your bright shinny poses. Plastic playthings, worn well with your use, my invention... your perception a choice made in faith your intention. thwarted in fear to play in school yard. Call me a dirt eating, weird...ass... nonsensical retard. Twisting the meanings of things that you see, that is the downfall of short apogee. Biblical, worldly do not mix together, you make your own bed, under own chosen weather. Original sin is not your contention. Sin is an arrow that missed its seat at convention. If murders your power then murder you must. Kill all the messengers with power of lust. Rusty, dusty, Hollywood's face... now hiding spectre of schoolyard disgrace. To pull the wool off the eyes of the sheep in the stable. You sell, sell sell...all the way to your cradle.

From johnttvrz@blogspot.com
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