Category : Poems

Sub Category : N/A

I write this for me
It may read like a Taurentino movie-
Unjointed and out of sequence
That’s the way my life has been for the past few months
You —as always-are invited to read it
But it is a message to me

Death- how many times have we died 
How many times. Have we actually tried 
I have never began an action wanting to
end it
Too scared-thoughts of missing my wonderful family and some of life’s quality that melted in the heat of despair - YES
A fushion of confusion

But the mind never stops working
It take us to places where we want to be
But also places we dread to see

Such was my mindset as I tried to navigate 
between an eighty five year old aging body
and a brain that still recalls- in sharp images
Of remembrance past experiences of joy and
Sorrow
Ironically- my memory starts at age six the year my father died

During this  twilight zone  I realized that each of us measure  things differently 
all human brains interpret issues- feelings
etc. according their  total mental and emotional make-zip
I cannot feel your pain nor you mine
But I can equate through the knowledge of my own
The worst pain you know
Is the worst  pain you feel
That’s when individual pain and emotionbecomes  real and personal 

Hope is the element that Intluences our
Thooghts and behavior 
When. fully aflamed it can create and motivate
When hope dwindles and that flame begins to die - despair and depression moves in
My flame had been reduced to a barely glowing ember
I was physically alive but emotionally dead
Expecting to live out my remaining time in a conscious coma

And then a  series of small unexpected events took place
The ember of hope  slowly began to pulse
through my body
Emotional pain that was indescribable 
became a past issue(never to be forgotten)
as. focus changed towards my quest for the quality that I had  crawled out of the ashes
Of tragedy and  disappointment so many times before
For the first time in months I look forward to waking up and  pursuing what I now cherish 
as s blessing and s gift NEVER to be taken
For granted 
I truly-personally feel REBORN