What Happened To Me? Read Count : 31

Category : Diary/Journal

Sub Category : N/A
I'm sorry that I'm broken, I'm sorry that I can't seem to pull myself out of bed in the morning. I'm sorry that I sit in front of the fireplace wondering if you'll ever come home. I'm sorry that I feel like giving up. I'm sorry that I hurt you, that I ignored you, that I didn't understand you, that I couldn't help you, that I let you leave. I'm so sorry.
Sometimes I feel like sleeping. I feel like falling asleep and never waking up. I feel like life's to hard that it would just be easier to give up and move on to whatever comes after death.
Sometimes I stay up all night. For fear that I'll have horrible dreams. The kind that you can't wake up from. No matter how hard you try. The kind that you don't want to think about because of the bad thoughts that come with it.
Sometimes I hate myself. I can't stand myself. When I look in the mirror I cry. Not because I'm not pretty or skinny or perfect like other girls. I cry because when I look in the mirror I see a monster. I see a horrible horrible monster who's done terrible things. 
But I keep going. 
I have to keep going. There's people who need me. People who love me no matter what. There's people who would miss me. So I keep going.
I know life can get hard. But once you reach the bottom the only way to go is up. I know life doesn't make since sometimes. But one day you'll realize that everything happens for a reason. 

Comments

  • Faith Somers

    Faith Somers

    I think life gives us tests... To see how far we'll go before we give up and those tests... make us stronger. They make us smarter and they help us reach our goals.....

    Jan 12, 2020

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