Category : Diary/Journal

Sub Category : N/A

I have dreams sometimes that I can't control and when I wake up things in real life are different and the people around me are different .. I've been trying for years to get this under control thinking that life would just stay one way but it never dose. For days I won't sleep just to enjoy my life that's the way I try to keep things under control but it never works out. My grandma has told me that my dreams are a gift and a curse and that I needed to learn how to control them. I never understood that until now and how life can change at any given moment and you have to deal with whatever it is that life has thrown at you .. I can't shake this feeling.. of my dreams trying to tell me something that I'm missing and I know now that it's something that I need to face. The thing about dreams is that once you wake up you start to forget what that dream was about after awhile .. but what if it stayed with you no matter what and what if it was good or bad and that you could just remember it so much that you couldn't tell if it was a dream or if it was real life. That's how life is for me .. it's dreams and then it's real life and my life is so complicated that my dreams feel nice but I know that their not real and I know that I have to stay focused. I have so much to lose and I cannot get caught up in these dreams, sometimes I enjoy the feeling and I never want them to end. I know that it's silly to enjoy a dream more then you enjoy real life but to me it's like having pure love all inside of your body like feeling a lovers first kiss on your neck while your body is being slide into .. yeah it's pretty crazy the feelings that a dream can give you but it's there and sometimes I need to learn how to let my dreams just be dreams. At this point I know that you're wondering who I am and why my dreams should even matter to you lol that's the funny part I don't even know why they should matter to anyone but me.. but what I do know is that my dreams don't just affect me they affect everyone that's around me. You could be in them and they will hurt you and please you the same way that they do me .. it's hit or miss once you become apart of me and that will leave you hurting or feeling something that you never thought you could ever feel.