Neglected Read Count : 9
Category : Adult
Sub Category : Graphic novel
She longed for him fulfill his role. His masculine role, his role as her leader. They had been together for almost 5 years, the entire time she spent longing not only for him to be a strong dominate man, but also she desired his affection. She desired everything about him, she loved the way his skin felt against hers, she was attracted to the way he smelled. If she could drink him she would. Yet she always felt tired, tired of always being the one to initiate their contact. She had become exhausted with waiting for him to be romantic towards her. She always anticipated and imagined special nights between the two of them. Yet it seemed that no matter how patiently she waited it just never happened. She began to internalize her emotions and start to be really hard on herself. Here is one journal entry of hers:
"Maybe it's my hair, I should change it, cut it maybe? Dye it? Or maybe its my weight?? Should I loose some or he probably thinks im too skinny. Hmmm maybe that's what it is. Ok I will gain weight. Omg No, it's my butt, it's because I don't have one and he likes that. That's probably what it is. Well maybe I can do some exercises and get a little something. Maybe then he will show me. Maybe if I clean the house and try and look nice. Hes probably just bored with me. I mean I always look the same. Maybe if i put on this pair of panties with this bra...hmmmmm (changes bra and panties at least 7 times) Maybe im too pale?.. Ok maybe im just too mean and bossy and make him upset so I'll just leave him alone and let him do his thing. I won't say anything about it. I wont try to make him feel bad for not asking me to do anything. So I will just wait....well it didnt work this time, its time for me to get up and hes just now getting in bed. Ill try something different next time. Maybe when he comes to bed he will touch me or kiss me...nope hes turning on the tv. What is it that im not doing?????? Im missing it.. Maybe he just doesn't want me like that plain and simple. I can't make him want me no matter what I do. I guess it's not my hair, butt, weight clothes, I guess it's just me. Maybe this maybe that maybe maybe maybe maybe!!!!!!!! "
So it's not happening, all the time she has already invested, all the energy she applied, she started to really just believe it was her. Until one day she decided to allow someone else to give her the attention she so deeply needed. It started as innocent flirting, not that she hadn't been flirted with by men at work or out in public, it happened often. She had always brushed it off and never put any thought into it. She didn't want assurance from anyone else, she wanted him. Yet her sadness and doubt had finally taken its toll on her. She needed to feel attratctive again she needed to feel wanted. She needed affection. She found it. The innocent flirting turned into a kiss. That kiss made her feel alive again. Brad was his name he was a nice looking guy, he played music, he really liked Macey. And he wasnt afraid to express it to her. The first kiss the 2 of them exchanged almost took her breath, he ran his fingers through her dark wildly curly hair and just when his fingers reached the ends he gripped her hair, wrapped it around his fingers and forcefully pulled her head back, leaving her neck exposed for him to gently kiss and nibble, while whispered how beautiful she was and how badly he wanted inside of her. Goose bumps ran up and down every inch of her body. Her heart raced she wanted to push him a way yet she wanted to pull him closer and give into him.