My Life Read Count : 26

Category : Diary/Journal

Sub Category : N/A
It's funny the lives I've lived over my 30 short years, the personalities and I guess you could say personas I've killed. I can guarantee if you knew me 5 years ago you don't today and without a clear outline, if you knew me 10-15 years ago you'd be baffled at how I managed to get here from where I was heading. When I say here I don't say it as if I've managed to end up rich or famous, no nothing like that just here as in content, with a loving boyfriend, happy kids and a handful of friends I couldn't replace nor would I want too. It's funny when you start writing you never know where is to far back or what people even want to know but I guess I'll go from the beginning and hopefully in a figure 8 sort of way get back to that opening line that has me myself wondering how to explain it. I was the first born of 3, and the only girl. I can't really go into much detail about my childhood as it's not something I remember a great deal of. I know my dad was my hero for no particular reason, like any girl that gets the chance to love her dad I guess and thinking back now I find it weird I never questioned it when he seemingly disappeared off the face of the earth and we were moving and mum was surrendering one of our dogs and all of a sudden everything was different, other than finding out he had died and was very sick for a very long time I didn't know much about that whole situation, it was very much so a he was there, then he wasn't and then he was really gone and i was being told not to be sad because dad wouldn't want that, a line I wish was never spoken regardless of if it was said out of kindness or not because as a small girl rather than knowing I was allowed to be sad it was something I didn't process properly until much later in life. I actually for a very long time would pretend dad had actually just run away and left us to start a new family, in my child brain that was easier to make sense of than what really was happening. 

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  • Jan 16, 2020

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