Agonisingly Numb Read Count : 33

Category : Diary/Journal

Sub Category : N/A
This day was a bad day for me, not that they could see. My smile is my greatest deception and my perfected mask, I wear it so easily now after years of practice almost like second nature. It's harder to express myself beyond a smile and a laugh, I'm afraid of causing others pain by revealing my own so I hide it all away.

There are no new cuts or burns upon my skin, I'm in enough pain already and the physical wounds left behind always make other so disappointed in me. So why should I? It's easier to pretend everything is alright to smile and laugh rather than to scream and cry. The pain in my chest hardly matters, why should I upset others to ease my own suffering?

It's like a black hole, the pain in my chest. Empty and growing, consuming everything it touches until there is nothing left. It pulsates with agony that roles through my whole body draining all my energy to feed it's self, It leaves me feeling hopeless and lifeless with no emotion just going through the motions day by day, night after night.

I've had thoughts on how to end it all, they whisper in my mind tempting my fate. The promises they make are sweet nothings I know but how I wish to be able to end the pain. How long will I last until the seeds grow into trees and consume my thoughts, taking root in my mind and I cave in.

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