Category : Blogs

Sub Category : Relationships

Goodbye 2019. 

 I don’t know how to say this. Should I say thank you or whatever but 2019 is over and 2020 just said hello to us, to me. Still can’t believe I already passed that horrible year, I could have said that. My life has been like a rollercoaster at that time. I lost the loved one. I lost my job. My former boss stabbed me. I fell in love again and it betrayed me even more painful than before. From January to December of 2019 life has been changing my fate into nothing to believe anymore. People has come and gone. From a believer I turned into a non believer, not to mention about religious stuffs. But for most of everything. 

 Above all those shits, one thing I could have been proud of, it’s me, myself. My book finally been published in Jakarta, Indonesia. With Bahasa of course. That was one thing I needed the most. It was one of goals I have made from 2019. Yeah I still got that lists in my journal but I don’t want to look at it anymore. I got new job and made friends with amazing people around. It’s good also. 

 During New Year Eve I was writing this blog with music plays on Youtube, texting a lonely friend and thinking what would I do next? Yes, I still have plans in my head about the next book though. I bought food and treat my smallest brother for New Year Eve celebration this evening then I got into my room here, thinking and reading lots of articles and journal. No, I didn’t join any single party outside. No, I didn’t go anywhere but here. I hate party. I don’t like to go to a place like that even for socialize. I’m not into that stuff. I’d rather just sit in my room and create something. Because I love it.


 For 2020 I stopped making a list. I miss to talk with someone to share life, dreams and future but it seems like I was the only one have to think about myself first. I still get lost sometimes. But not that much. Laugh and jokes are the best medicine even I still have to cover myself with my poker face. But I can say, this new me isn’t the old me anymore. And believe me, my brother has changed also. He was more caring and loving to me. He was giving me more time for each other even just by texting on Whatsapp, but he shows me that he is there and will always be there for me unlike any other days from my past when he left me no choice. I love him so much. He is the one I have this time and he let me know I can still holding on to him anytime I want to. If I could say thanks to God, I would say thank you I have him in my life. Because without him, honestly I was just a half empty vessel.



Once again, happy new year.


 Have a good day.


 -V