~Roots~ 12/29/19 Read Count : 19

Category : Poems

Sub Category : N/A

Awaiting bloom

Never have I thought living was a curse.
I don't treat it as a blessing either.

There has been a long wait when not knowing what your waiting on. 
Everything seems to keep stacking over my head, and building up on top of itself.

I revolved and formed my body and life, into becoming content with a strict structured n a path I've built so I dont dare expose or let anyone discover that 1 thing that keeps ubticking gaurd it with your life as pol are wanting to surface my "childhoid roots" that are burnt unto my brain. As in closing that chapter in my life making room for my transformation as my "root" grow and grow

Evolving the journey or life, was always sketchy, unknown' and the final risk turning into a painful, scary, and forbidden territory, only knowing and having one belief..
While in dismay I realize all was a lie, evil, and never was designed for I..

"Roots" needs bolt that tree up. They need nutrition, stability, strangth and free from anything that my hurt those soots.. 
My "Roots" were never fed, nurtured,
growned, created, formed.
 
Alone, I lay in calmness, 
I hear and feel tears of pain in goodbyes, to my loved ones in my heart and they finally are at peace. A place we all call our heavenly, breath taking, magical home. Looking apon me guiding me through my existence.
And everything that once hurt me.
That not only follows me till this moment secretly haunts my soul.
What was once the only knowledge and option or the meaning of "Roots" as bounded, programmed, layed out from birth where I've never knew any other way nor meaning.

In these times I go lay by myself.. and beg for the once rich soil, noe into dust that blows silent chilled breeze. Knowing the knowledge, depth, and ending up at that fork of the seconds, minutes form into a thousand yesterday's of the roots, I once only knew. Feeding off my heart, soul, and happiness allowing to to drain with toxins into into my damaged "roots"...

My being that was chosen, created, and programed long as memory is designed to form your exsistace to grow.
For love. For sanity, For freedom, For serenity..
While Im patiently awaiting my blossom, my life, and my final quest, knowing my purpose and my place on earth.
What I need to fulfil n discover my own "roots" for my own exsistance 

Along my journey... A "Y" comes upon me as I are stacks or memories along each direction. 

I close me eyes and while the wind is calling as silent as can be I feel a gentle touch. A remarkable feeling from their presents guiding me town the Y in straight. 

He protects me and he's guides me encourages, comforts, washing my fears in taking the wrong path in discovering the ultimate self discovery. The man whoms presents was a gift as i pass memories I've barried o so long ago. What he's shown
was the only time I felt half my true roots
As hes pulling  and guiding me towards the tropics and unleash the meaning in acceptance,showing me where to plant MY OWN tree as I protect as those "Roots". 

The rhythm or my discovery had exposed showing me who I truly am and to who I truly was. Lost, alone, scared, independent, and my own creation on earth. 
And my body moving to a language, the rhythm, excitement, dreams, happiness feeling, excitment of feeling what love is n how I can experience that love comes in every shape n form but I fight  and living the feeling within hidden inside my body, heart and soul.

Creating the "Roots" that each root will form into memories in this new journy on self worth. Forming into the person I've built from all I know..

Ill protect those roots never take for granted forming into a pure heart and a joyful creature on my OWN.. With that Im complete n I love who I am inside out! Bc i know how to accept myseld live my self n these words are "MY ROOT" my destiny.
 

Comments

  • This is a tiny piece of my every day or my life. Im searching for my purpose in this place we call home.

    Dec 29, 2019

  • Dec 29, 2019

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