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December calls for strategic marketing, as we work to compete with panic spending. It is funny how healthcare take a back seat during Christmas holidays even among our gravely ill patients. We call this time the infecting stage, when most of our very infectious patients walk the town with biohazards sticking out their sleeves, eluding their maintenance meds to be able to buy new shoes and new gadgets, but not really stopping to tuck orgies long enough until they are safe to do so. The freaking insanity of it all. So we launch into awareness campaigns. The effort is dodged more often than not, but we need to try.

I have known and met people who are actually led by their genitals more than their heads. People who callously infect their wives or their husbands with deadly diseases, and give no second thoughts about it. What is it with sex and morons? What is it with sex and civility? If I were to rewrite the axis of mental illness, this sex addicts deserve a grand place in the insanity axis. 

Some misguided souls put their lives and that of their families to the mercy of the rubber sheath. A jurassic armour that had long been considered ancient and obsolete by the medical community. Not when the tongue remains naked for crying out loud.

“ My wife doesn’t want to have sex as often as I wish. What’s a man to do?”, a middle aged, bespectacled balding man once said.

“Go jump off the 40th floor moron”. I thought.

I do not think twice about charging these kinds of people. Make me rich you damn fools. Buy me an SUV, and a P90k bicycle. I offer my service pro bono for a lot of illness, but never on self inflicted ones. Not even when my life depended on it. The cure is simple. Be fucking human beings, and not ogres. I am no vet.

By Joei MD 2015