Category : Poems

Sub Category : N/A

The darkness curls around my body, in seductive caresses. The inky blackness is impenetrable, with absence of sound. My heartbeat roars in my ears, the beat sounding like far away drums. A signal perhaps? Or a call, but a call to what? 
A call to arms, for war? What can I arm myself with? I have nothing around me. I have merely my skin. My sight is not working. There's nothing to smell, and there is no other sound. I reach further into myself. I have my compassion, my empathy, and my love. I have a strong will that can bend but will never break. I have my intelligence, which I can shape my words into either sharp weapons or the softest feather. I have all the weapons I need here within me…


She's losing this fight. The ever revolving duel between the ebony voices trying to drown her, and the purifying light that wants to save her. She screams as loud as she can, only her voice is muted. Tears roll down her cheeks, and she can't wipe them away. She wanted so badly not to feel anything at all, thinking that numb was where she wanted to be. Now that she is numb, she realizes that instead of it being a blessing it is a curse. The heaviness weighs her down, her lungs feeling as though they will burst. The frantic pace of her heartbeat pulsing inside her head. She knows it is rush of anguish settling in deep inside her soul. So the blood runs down the floor from slit wrists, it glistens along the floor in a bright trail. The life leaves the lungs in a final breath. The pain, and sadness has proven too much for one life. The burden of carrying on has been too much. The what if's kept running through her mind.  Never seeming to amount to much, and never feeling that she was good enough. That she was too complicated to be with, or too naive. When she loved someone she loved them with her entire heart. Never once not giving them everything. Only to wind up pushed away. She had no more love to give in her heart. She had given away parts of her soul to the wrong people until eventually nothing was left. Just a empty vessel with no reason to care anymore.


I want to try to help those I love. I give all of myself. I feel so helpless, worthless, and deep wrenching sorrow when I cannot help. It tears at my very existence. My soul rips apart. I try to shield myself from those who want to do me harm, but my nature is to try to fix the world. Do you have any idea how it feels to be like that? Eventually everything piles up so much I feel that I should just quit. I have no outlet to release these feelings. I live in utter misery day in and day out. I used to be wanted from sunrise till sunset. I used to be somebody's moon on a moonless night. Now? I feel I don't matter to anybody. Love is a myth, with shattered dreams..