This Vision I Can't Get Read Count : 9

Category : Stories

Sub Category : Fantasy

The new start to an already failed relationship, i struggle with whom i have left behind knowing that he was not right for me by my inability to deal or cope with his insecurities.

once again i feel a sadness to a point, fully aware of how easily attitudes can rage Into violence rather  love thee violent always leaving me hurt or bruised no matter how I try to avoid it. lately he slips and it's only a matter of time before he and I are right back to when I left him. 

My idea of a man caring and loving  a woman, friend ,partner, he would not isolate  me,(like he does) he would make me feel worthy and push me towards strengthening my lack of confidence not to push to hard only firm. To  know himself be confident be my backbone while I learn to have my own!

Only I can't find a man like that thought the one I'm with is keeping me his dirty crazy bitch secret! I feel,l thanks to his actions opposite a lovers actions.

   He should want to touch me in loving way that don't have to end  preforming sex, could kiss me times he sees me leaves me.

  Growing cloudy with self doubt, that is not anywhere close to what I get!

Feeling he wouldn't be ashamed of me in public but he is, especially around his friends, he might  act like he is lucky to be with me without having to say it, that will never be! I'd think he would want me near whenever possible, but he always disappears then complains I ignored him. he could help me stay busy give him a  hand like partners do, but all I hear is I can do it by myself! Keep me awake so I don't sleep my life away, like I do to keep me from interacting socially.  

Enough is enough, even though I'm afraid I must wake up! "He doesn't love me!!"

As far as all that i know i want and need friends a lover close to that I described of how I would know I'm loved.  I don't get a lot of what I really need at this point in my life, granted I hope for it without a lot of friends

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