Category : Blogs

Sub Category : Miscellaneous

I love Halloween, usually... My husband's death kind of changed Halloween for me only because he died by suicide a week before Halloween in 2017. I went to his mother's house to hand out candy and just cried the whole time. It sucked. 

This year I'm moving. I hate to move. When my husband and I got the apartment I'm now moving out of, it was a nightmare. Anything that can go wrong during a move did. 

We hired movers thinking it would make the move stress free. Ha! The movers came and loaded everything up fast, it was amazing. We all trucked over to the new place only to find we had been locked out of our new apartment due to a mistake that wasn't even our doing. We couldn't reach anyone to fix the situation and we had a full truck waiting to be unloaded by some guys that had other people to move that day too. 

We ended up back at the old place where the movers unloaded the truck (again, impressively fast) and we stood there dumbfounded. 

The next day we were able to fix the screw-up, called the movers, who were happy to charge us to move our shit AGAIN. 

One week after we moved in, it was discovered the apartment had bedbugs. We reported this lovely information to the office manager who informed us they not only don't have bedbugs at their complex, but we must have brought them with us. 

Needless to say, I moved after only a week and a half of residing there. This was all too much for my husband. 

We both suffered from mental illness, but his case was a bit more severe. He ended up in a mental health facility and mother-in-law, father-in-law, and I moved our stuff into yet another apartment. When my husband got out of the hospital, we both agreed we would live and die right there in that apartment because moving was not ever going to be an option again. 

We lived there 2 years before he took his own life. I stayed for 2 additional years before it became necessary for me to move along somewhere else. I wouldn't have stayed as long as I did if he had killed himself in our home, but he did not. No, Keith went out rock star style pretending to crowd surf. Only the stage was actually a bridge and the crowd was actually the turnpike below. 

Morbid I know, but it's my reality. 

My new place is cute. It's about half the size of me and Keith's apartment, but it's perfect for me. The best part about it is that it's mine. Just mine. I can decorate it the way I want, I can keep the temperature the way I want it without hearing Keith's voice in my head telling me I'm throwing money down the drain. 

I have been at this moving thing for 3 days now and with very little help as far as muscle. I do not have anywhere close to the amount of money I would need to hire movers. However, I am more than able to provide food, beverages and lots of appreciation to any good-hearted folks who want to help a sister out. 

A few people have really come through for me and let me tell you, moving is when you find out who the real and true friends are in your life. 

I plan to have these people over to my new place, once I'm all situated, and cook an awesome dinner with drinks and have a game night. I'm a firm believer in showing appreciation. 

Ok, so that's it for my rant this evening. If you made it through that, then stick around. It gets way more fucked up and twisted as I regale you with my past and present. I'm hoping the future is brighter. Who knows, this is after all, a new start for me. Stay tuned y'all.