Category : Poems

Sub Category : N/A

   
                          I was just laying here just like any other night as I'm stuck in side my own mind that has a million random deep very deep thoughts racing through my mind, for my mind never knows when to shut down, but tonight is not just some other night my thoughts are not just some random nor are there a million different deep thoughts racing around in my head, except for one very lonely deep thought that for some reason I can't get this very lonely deep thought to stop racing through my head, that's when I figured that this very lonely deep thought is trying to tell you something, that I want you to know from the deepest lonely tore up heart, not from anyone else's doings but my very own doings. I want you to know first of all is this same lonely deep thought I have had it ln my head all as well as every night it's not just one of those type of thoughts either that are easily put into words that's for sure, so now with that being said please bear with me as I try to put this thought into words, so that I can tell you what I want you to know from this very lonely deep thought I have racing through my head all and every night as I lay in bed with this very lonely deep thought racing through my head is that I want to show you how truly deeply sorry I'm for all of the pain, heartache as well as confusion that I have caused you, I also want to in fact show you how deeply I love as well as care as well as appreciate everything and still are doing for me even going as far as teaching,even to show me what unconditional love looked as well as feels,even after in which you have forgiven me for some really horrible that we both know should have never happened in which I really do feel extremely terrible for doing that to you, you have no idea how bad I've been beating the holey fuck out of myself for and I probably always will for doing something so horrible to such a great intelligent, loving, understanding as well as caring guy such as yourself,I'm very proud to be married to you, I'm also very appreciative that you have it in your very loving heart to forgive me for all of the wrong doings as well as to find in that same loving heart to still want me as your wife to be known for everyone to see that I'm always and forever will be the love of your life as your loving wife.



          I just wished that it was so simple to show you so that you would know that nothing that I have done or have caused you to go through in the past will never ever occur ever again, that Faith day when we were standing hand in hand as we stared deeply into each other's eyes saying our vows to each other from the very bottom of our hearts I meant my vows that I said to you at that alter that very faithful as well as blessed day our wedding day in which we became as a whole on December 6,2018 

I also wished that it was so simple to make you that once upon a time a very happy, loving kind of man in which I fell head over hills for, I want you to know what this lonely deep thought that has been racing through my head wants you to know, now that I have done my very best in telling you what I want you to know maybe that will have put that very lonely deep thought at rest where I can hopefully get some much needed sleep 

Written By: Donna
Ruttenbur
9-12-2019