Category : Diary/Journal

Sub Category : N/A

There were times in the past where I thought of an idea or a plan but was too afraid to follow through with it. I was afraid to take that step into the unknown because doing that would mean getting out of my comfort zone. Deep down, I knew I wanted to take that step. I wanted to make a change and try something different, something new and something that's unfamiliar to me but, I stalled and kept stalling because I was afraid to leave my safety net. 

What was holding me back? 
Fear? 
Insecurity? 
Lack of confidence? 

I had been letting this idea about making changes in my life sit idle in my head for so long because I felt I wasn't ready to execute the idea. But as time goes by and I saw other people around me progressing and moving forward in their life, I realized that I had remained rooted and stagnant in the same spot I have been for as long as I can remember. 

That didn't sit well with me. 

So what exactly was I waiting for? 
The right time? 
When is that exactly? 
When I am completely ready? 
When will that be? 

I realized there is no such thing as being completely ready. Truth is, I am never going to feel like I have everything sorted and all figured out. Clinging onto my safety net for dear life and not wanting to cross over the threshold of my comfort zone is not going to get me anywhere near to the change I had in mind for my life. I recognized that what I was and have been doing to myself was hold myself back from moving forward and discovering what I'm truly made of. My refusal to get out of my comfort zone has stunted my growth. 

Was I being fair to myself? 

Yes, it is good to have a sense of security in a familiar surrounding where I know exactly what is in that bubble. But a bubble is a bubble. Am I content with just living inside that bubble for the rest of my life? 

No. 

Babies live in their mother's womb which, if you think about it, is kind of like a bubble. But does the baby stay in that bubble for the rest of its life? No. After living comfortably in the safety net of his mother's womb for 9 months and 10 days, the baby is brought out of his comfort zone into a world that is unknown to him. The baby has no idea what to expect in this new world but he learns to adapt. With the help of his parents and caretakers in his early stages of life, he learns new things each day. He progresses and he grows. He does not remain stagnant. 

So I asked myself.... what the hell was I waiting for? 

All I needed to do was to commit myself. No more stalling. Take one step at a time, one breath at a time. Kick off all the bad habits that have been holding me back - the doubt, the insecurity and the fear. All those things were there because I allowed them to be there. I  made room in my life to accommodate them. 

Why waste space on such negativity? 

So I made the decision to clear the room. I did a major spring cleaning and let the sunlight in. 

At the end of the day, we need to believe in ourself. Others may believe in us, in our potential and capabilities but if we don't have the same faith in ourself, nothing is going to come out of it.

To change, I have to be willing to make changes. I need to be comfortable at being uncomfortable. I need to dig deep and ask myself how badly I want this - growth and progress. And if I truly want it bad enough, I need to continue digging everyday. Consistently. 

The idea of change has already been planted in my brain for a long time. Whether that idea sits and continues to fester in my brain as just an idea and nothing more, that is entirely up to me. At the end of the day, the ball is in my court and the power to choose is in my hands. 

No doubt, leaving my comfort zone and stepping into the unknown is intimidating. The uncertainty of not knowing what to expect can be worrisome. But hey, if I don't pull my shit together and step up, I'm going to forever remain stagnant. 

And without growth, without progress, what's the value of life?