H E H E . . . Read Count : 14

Category : Diary/Journal

Sub Category : N/A
All these voices in my head tell me bad things...
I wanna end it all..
They don't care!
You should kill yourself!
He doesn't like you back!
He only wants you for Other things!
He doesn't care!
He doesnt love you!
Nobody loves you!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

PLEASE SHUT UP ALREADY!

PLEASE! 

NOBODY CARES NOBODY CARES NOBODY CARES NOBODY CARES NOBODY CARES NOBODY CARES NOBODY CARES NOBODY CARES NOBODY CARES NOBODY CARES NOBODY CARES NOBODY CARES NOBODY CARES NOBODY CARES NOBODY CARES NOBODY CARES NOBODY CARES NOBODY CARES!

SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!

But the voices in my head never ended...

Idiot...
Go kill yourself...
Worthless waste of space...
Ahahahaha...
He doesnt love you..

They never shut up..

Then...i started to say these things to myself..Non stop...

Im worthless...
He doesn't like me...
Nobody cares about me...
I should kill myself...
I need to die... 
Soon.. i will die...

Then the voices got worse for me...

Idiot...Im glad you know your worthless and a waste of space! HAHA!

. . . 

you need to die...haha..

SHUT UP PLEASE YES I KNOW BUT JUST PLEASE GO AWAY!

HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA! 
IDIOT 
IDIOT 
 
IDIOT!!!!

And then..i met them...

I hanged out with them alot..

Then one day... i was in a sad game..

They joined me...

One of them..asked me..if i was okay...

"Yeah i am..." the lies i told...

"You sure..?"

I couldn't take it anymore..so..

"Actually..no im not okay..ive been sad for too long...but ill be fine..!"

Then..after a talk..

I was then given a choice..

1. Be with them..maybe be one of them...

Or..

2. Dont be with them..leave them...

I chose..the first one..

And then..they started to care and accept me for who i am and for what i go through and trying to help me with it...

What is this...? 
LEAVE THEM!
NO!
GO AWAY IDIOT!
UGH!!

I still heard the voices..
I was still s u i c i d a l . . .

But knowing that someone..Loved me...
It made me live more days...



If you want me to continue this comment..also this is a real thing im going through its not fake... 



Comments

  • Coco Reins

    Coco Reins

    :/

    Sep 02, 2019

  • Keep writing no matter what. Yes its good to have people to talk to and stuff. Always be wary tho. Im not knowing how and what these people want from you. I hope they are truley genuine. Hang in there babe you be just fine..

    Sep 02, 2019

  • 🖤i love this! i feel the same way except...im not only hear, but i am told every day, mon-fri...but at least i have you all and the writing community...again thank u jared.

    Sep 02, 2019

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