His Crushed Hopes Read Count : 22
Category : Poems
Sub Category : N/A
This be a hard summer for my mind.
A difficult journey where I retain my ability to renew the same mistakes or make new mistakes.
I fear that as the clock whines by, there will be a different individual in the mirror that I stare in.
An entirely different soul within my eyes.
I have tried to talk to such a girl, who had drained my patience, for I wished to have her back.
Yet, I have been the villain, who had made her feel unworthy, perhaps unwanted, that drove her away.
She found herself in the arms of another male, not telling me so as I rained down romantic remarks that she seemed to enjoy.
Until, she grew unfazed by them. I pointed such a thing out and that is when she had broken my soul into pieces.
Why has she not told me? Revenge perhaps?
I had hurt her.
I bite a piece of my dignity, knowing and admitting that I have done wrong, yet I feel enlightened for such a small thing.
I have hurt her.
I have hurt her too much.
Too much that she looks upon me as a individual bouncing back to her after a failed relationship.
There was no sleep for my mind, for this issue was constantly on my mind.
Perhaps, I grew too desperate in my search for love. I was clouded by my desire, by my yearning to know that I am accepted by a beautiful female, by my dreams of being able to look upon such a female for hope when I have hit the lowest points.
And now, here I lay in bed.
Pondering, within me, a roaring city of blood boiling rage and raindrops of sadness at what I have done.
At the mere monster I wished not to become.
Yet, now, as I lay and ponder ever so often, I know what crimes I have commited to such a girl like her and I admit such crimes.
I comprehend now that an apology is in order to her.
I comprehend now that my quest for love must be halted temporarily.
To repair my inner workings, to learn that such a way to treat a girl is forbidden, to grow as an individual.
I will slowly, and steadily, work on my mind, to rebuild it's slaughtered corpse and forgive myself.
It is time to start anew, and I shall not falter in my journey to rebuild what is left within.
I feel a burden has been lifted from my shoulders, and I feel relieved for such a thing.