Stop It Dude, Get Some Help. Read Count : 43

Category : Stories

Sub Category : Comedy
Hoodie's POV: As I was sitting on the couch
thinking about Melody and I making ou- I MEAN THINKING ABOUT SLENDERMAN COMMITING SUICI- wait, THAT'S MUCH WORSE!!!  Well then, fuck me sideways.  I though. I then got up from the couch and walked into the kitchen and saw Toby standing on top of the counter and with Melody recording him. Then Toby jumped of the counter and yelled, "I'm Gay!!!"  Then threw his arms up in the air. "Man, that sucked! I can do much better than that!" Melody bragged, which most of the things she brags about just makes me fall
more in lo-I MEAN THE THINGS SHE SAYS ARE COOL! "Heh. I'd like to see you try!" Toby smirked. "Ok." Melody replied with a short shrug. Then handed the camera to Toby, and climbed up on the counter. "Be careful ba-I mean Mel!" I said nervously. " Don't worry babe, I got this." She said winking at me. Then she backflipped off the counter and yelled, "I have crippling depression!" Toby and I stood in total silence. "Really nigga?!" Toby said. "Gee Mel, that not was dark, but really depressing." I said. "Yes I guess you're right, that was kinda deep." Mel had replied. Then Slenderman was behind us and said, "Hmm...but isn't that what she said?" He sexually joked. I slowly died inside while cringing. But Mel did the opposite, she just let it all out. "WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FUCKING HELL SLENDYMAN?! YOU GODDAMN ASSHOLE!!!" She chewed him out. "Say that to Hoodie whenever he is in your asshole." Slender said crossing his arms.  

Ecliptic Melody's POV: I felt my face burn. Then Hoodie smirked and said, "Well, good thing Sally's not home tonight cause that's exactly what we're going to do." Then he walked over to the medical cabinet and pulled out two condoms. "Hoodie, we're not actually gonna-" he cut me off. "Don't worry kitten, you'll live through it." He the took hold of my hand and brought me to our room. He then sat me down on the bed and left the room. A couple of minutes later, he came back, shut the door and locked it. "Hoodie we're actually going to do this?" 
I asked. "Well, that's for you to find out, my little Tsundere~." He said seductively grabbing my waist from behind me.

(Let's just say, no-one actually knew that it was really offender disguised as Slenderman. And everyone knew Toby was already gay 😂😂😂 and Slender was pissed when he came home to 'ya know'! And Mel and Hoodie kicked Offender's ass for what he did.👌🏻👌👌🏿)


Melody: Hoodie, we're not actually gonna- Hoodie:Fuck?
Melody:Nooo! When did you add that line?!
Hoodie:(Laughs uncontrollably)

Slenderman(Offender): Say that to Hoodie whenever he is in your asshole.
Melody: Wait, but in one of the lines, Hoodie supposed to grab condoms...
Hoodie: That's why one of my lines use the word 'Kitten' as a reference to the first joke offender made.
Melody: Wait, isn't that animal abuse?!
Toby: (laughs off in the background)

Melody: watcha thinking about?
Hoodie: I'm thinking about you and I making out.. 
Melody: (falls to prices laughing)
Hoodie: Wait,oh shit! No I didn't mean to say that! (Starts laughing with her)
Tim: Toby get down off the fridge!
Toby: UGH! This house is a fucking nightmare!!!

Hoodie: Wait, why do I have to get two condoms...?
M!A(me!!!): For just in case...
Hoodie: We aren't even actually do it.
M!A(me!!!): Oh yes you are! My ship will be sailed!!!
M!A(me!!!): (Pushes Hoodie on top of Melody and they both end up beating my ass) :(

Sally: (Walks in the door and hears something)
Sally: Slendy, what's that noise?
Slender: Sally what are you-(hears moaning from Hoodie's and Melody's room.)
Slender: Sally, why don't you go play outside with LJ for me please?
Sally: Okie!
Slender: (Walks up to Offender) Care to explain, brother? 
Me!!!: (Appears out of nowhere) It's called shipping!!!
Slender: Who the hell is she?!
Me!!!: (Randomly teleports Zalgo into the cabin)
Slender: Zalgo! What are you doing here?!
Me!!!: (Pushes Zalgo onto Slender and forces them to kiss)
Me!!!: Ship has sailed!!!
Me!!!: (Teleports away)

Hoodie: (pins Melody onto the bed)
Melody: 666... UwU
Hoodie: did you add that to the script?
Melody: no...
Hoodie: creepy af.

Lazari: Daddy?! Mr. Slendyman?!
All proxies: Slender! You traitor!!!
Me!!!: Ships awaaaaaaay!
Me!!!: (Pushes Hoodie onto Melody, Sally on Lazari, Kate on Stinger, and Toby on Masky.)
Slender and Zalgo: (beats the hell out of me for making them gay, and Sally and Lazari lesbian.)
Me!!!: (Sorry to the people who are Lazari x Eyeless Jack shippers.)



  • Aug 12, 2019

  • warning: this writing contains, sexual jokes, cussing, and sexual confrontation. if you're sensitive to these things, DO NOT READ!!! or if you're at the age to read these things. (age limit for the non-sexual writings/books is 13+) Have a fantastic and bloody day!🖤🖤🖤

    Aug 13, 2019

  • Loved the bloopers.

    Aug 13, 2019

  • Aug 13, 2019

  • ooo

    Sep 02, 2019

  • i do not like it

    Sep 08, 2019

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