Category : Diary/Journal
Sub Category : N/A
I have no motivation to do anything. I'm just so damn tired all the time. I feel like crap. My self worth is sitting on a pile of shit right now. It's almost 3pm and I should go take a shower but I don't feel like caring about myself. And I just feel so lost....
All I see is a stranger when I look in the mirror.
Who am I?
I can't breathe. I just feel like I'm drowning while everyone else around me is breathing. And the worst part is I have nothing to be sad about. My depression is like a heavy weight that I carry around. My anxiety is a burden. It's hard to be there for the people I care about. It's hard to pretend that I'm okay. I put everyone else before myself and I forget about my own needs and happiness. I just feel like my time and energy is always in high demand and now my energy is at its lowest point and time is a damn fog.
Anxiety is draining all my confidence. Painting the future into a scary picture. Suffocating me and making me want to disappear.
My smile is the sun trapped behind dark storm clouds and I only feel like half of me is here. The world feels like it's in slow motion and everyone is running and I'm struggling to keep up.
I rarely sleep at night. I stay up to fill the empty space. I stay up watching movies and spending time with my siblings and put my own thoughts and opinions on mute. My physical health is a big Rock tumbling fast down hill bringing my mental and emotional health with it. I know I need to find balance. And I need to make sure I'm okay before anyone else. I just need to find and empty space to breathe. Some where to be alone. Somewhere to escape for a while. Somewhere to clear my mind. Somewhere to openly spill out all my thoughts and emotions without anyone seeing. I just want to find a way away from all people and things.
You mentioned putting yourself ahead of everyone- could that be the cause of your anxiety- it could explain your depression 🦋doing for other’s is a wonderful gesture but we all need balance where we can get personal satisfaction and gratification 🦋writing is an effective way to lessen the tension but you might continue the other factors mentioned Thanks for sharing keep writing🦋🦋
Aug 09, 2019