Category : Poems

Sub Category : N/A

"Andrew's not gonna get the game since he's being a mook." 

Are the words relayed to me through my headset from a friend of mine.

The group of is, including my person, amounts to 6, but 5 speak of a video game that they strongly hold monumental plans for.

And only 1 has made the decision to withdraw from such plans, to isolate himself from a "trend" he, in his own mind, wishes to stop.

And that be me.

The 5 hearts can be heard pumping with excitement, filling to the brim with joy and wonder. Thankfully, they have each other to enjoy great times in the digital world of monsters and magic and swords and guilds and clans and characters. 

I had said that I will not be joining in such tasks, not purchasing such a game.

I shall admit, it is admirable for it's style and multitude of capabilities, yet it does not spark a fire within me to actually purchase it.

Further down the line, the deeper reason, is I wish not to follow the trend of:

Your friends are getting this game and it sounds like fun, you are gonna buy it

Is what my deeper mind speaks to me, this pattern has happened far too much and it tires me. 

My paranoia beings to kick in and pump onwards.

There is nothing wrong with wanting to play a video game with them

No, you buy a game just because they are all getting it

But, imagine all the fun you can have with them

Silence! Imagine losing interest in the game and they still have high interests as if they are addicted

Such paranoia runs within my mind, and I have settled upon my decision.

They talk and talk and talk and I fear over being exlcuded from a multitude of fun conversations, I fear being alone whilst my friends create memories in the virtual world of gaming.

Once more, my paranoia rushes throughout my veins, and if such a fear comes true then they, my friends, shall find me moving along the darkness.

Avoiding their spotlights, paying no mind to their calls for me. 

I shall lay in my own reality, alone, isolated.

Is this the right thing for me? Most likely not.

But, why does it sit both right and wrong within my heart?