Him 😍 Read Count : 104

Category : Diary/Journal

Sub Category : N/A
It is 4:35 in the morning and I'm laying here I'm so sleepy just got so much on my mind cash fell asleep on my chest I love when he does that I love him so much I rubbed his back for him for about 30 minutes he woke up and said that he didn't feel it or remember it and I mean I didn't do a spectacular job but I was really trying to make him feel good and satisfy him,  I'm going to assume because of what he said about the back rub that I gave him didn't satisfy his pain in his back not going to sit here and lie to myself but it kind of bothered me that he said that to me even after me reminding him what I did he just rolled over and went to sleep but I'm glad he ended up on my chest. I just want him to be comfortable all the time I don't even really care about my own comfortability like that because as long as he's comfortable then I'm comfortable. He tells me things like he doesn't satisfy me and I'm not happy but he doesn't understand I'm so happy that I'm here with him and I get to lay in his arms on his chest that right there just waking up to his face is the best feeling ever and he will never believe me when I tell him that cuz of my actions in the past . It will always held over my head  . Hopefully coming to an understanding about things like that we both could work on it  because I know that our relationship REALLY MEANS something to him and he's proven that to me I know he knows that I love him but I need to prove it to him for him to actually believe it and grasp onto that feeling that I'm trying to give him but now I kind of feel like he's letting it go and when me and him sit down and we really have a heart-to-heart conversation and he tells me and he means it with everything in him that we will never give up on each other we'll fight for what we love I believe him so much I wish he would believe I felt that way too I will never willingly let him go sometimes he leaves without saying Saying bye or he loves me like he tells me what if he walk out that front door and something happened to him and I never got to see him again will it be the last thing I said to him would I be okay with what I said I wish he would think about that expression when he does it to me. BUT  no matter what we go through or what we've been through he's fought for me and is fighting for me that just means so much to me he doesn't really understand.  He has all these little negative feelings towards me now but when I show him that this is what I want and he's everything to me I know he'll accept me for who I am because he does love me and I do love him I want him to feel it and his body and his heart. My head is starting to hurt I'm going to continue to rub my loves neckneck and enjoy this moment until I fall asleep good night..🖤💤😴 it's now 5:15 am 

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  • Jun 29, 2019

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