Category : Diary/Journal

Sub Category : N/A

"What are you afraid of?"
I asked my heart. 

My heart did not reply. 

"There is no one out there that will hurt you. I'll protect you. I'm stronger now.... you have nothing to fear."

Still, my heart did not reply. 

"Tell me, heart.... was it our childhood trauma? Was it our deceitful friend? Was it our ex-husband? None of that matters now.... I am a strong woman, no one can do anything to us."

My heart remained quiet.... closed. 

I grew frustrated. 

"Heart, you are a coward! Maybe you are defective. Maybe I just don't have a heart that works properly. No wonder I am afraid to love."

My heart closed even tighter. 

For years I walked around falling even deeper into despair about my defective heart. 

Then one day I grew very quiet. 

Quiet enough that I thought I could almost hear a whisper coming from my heart. 

I asked with all the compassion I was capable of.... "Heart, what are you afraid of?"

My heart whispered back.... "You. I am afraid of You."

I cried. 

I finally realized my mistake. 

I had protected my heart from everyone but the one person who could hurt it the most.... the tyrant inside.