Category : Diary/Journal

Sub Category : N/A

She knows all of his secrets, he tells her he loves her. 13 long years of her and 3 months of bullshit with me. My bestfriend this, my bestfriend that and I look to the bottle for answers and a clear head. She has his heart and I have liquor and a migraine. He speaks to her in ways that mean love and care, but with me I feel like another male friend. Bro this, bro that. Who am I to him. He leaves days on end every week, " im making money", he says. I love him but im afraid to say it out loud because I know deep down who has his heart. 13 long years and 2 and a half of them dating her before me. Am I a fool to believe that I am the only one? Am I a slave to my feeling and admiration for this, the man that I care for and share a bed with? 12 a.m., 1 a.m., 2 a.m., she come first. Any call, any time so what makes me so special when I don't even get a " Hi, how are you?". Another deception. Another string of half-truths, and another gut feeling of deceit and regret. I am anonymous to him as i am to you, my audience. Love me and leave me, the story of my life. Only this time you love her and leave me with another bottle.