Category : Stories

Sub Category : Drama

That evening I went back to the apartment and took a warm shower. I was worried and I felt a knot in my stomach. After showering I got some comfortable clothes on and swallowed an extra dose of my prescribed sleep medication. Once I laid down in bed I began to pray, I asked God to forgive me for my wrongdoings, to guide me through those moments of sheer panic and allow everything to work out and fall into place. Before I knew it I had fallen asleep while speaking with the man upstairs. It was the first time I had ever prayed myself to sleep. 

The next morning came and Rich woke me up. My eyes slowly fluttered open and rich was laying on his right side staring at me.

"Good morning you" he said with a smile on his face. "You look beautiful when you wake up, like an angel sent from above..my angel from above." Brushing my hair away from my face with his fingertips.

"I'm no angel" I retorted. Laying on my back as I stared up at the tobacco colored ceiling tiles, all I could think about was the possibility of violating my probation in another county that was nearly one hundred and fifty miles away. I was facing some hard time if this incident would make it's way to the Allegheny County Probation Office in the heart of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. That would not be good and I was in fear of the worst. A max out of 25 months in a state correctional facility wasn't part of the plan but if it was then I would be so far up shit crick that it wouldn't be a laughing matter. 

A few minutes later, Rich got up out of bed and began to get dressed. I got up behind him and went into the bathroom and closed the door behind me. I did my thing and walked out to the kitchen, brewed up some coffee and looked on my phone for a few minutes. Rich was dressed and getting ready to walk out the door when he approached me in the kitchen from behind and wrapped his arms around my waist. "I love you and if anything happens, either way I will call you right away ok?" He said softly into my ear as he held me from behind. 

"Ok" I said to him as I was standing at the kitchen counter by the coffee pot next to the sink. I had my phone sitting there in front of me as I was checking my messages and glancing at my Facebook Page. That's when he turned me around and looked deep into my eyes.

"Baby everything is going to work out here I promise..look I'll do what I gotta do to keep you out of this, ok? Cupping his hands around my face tightly and looking deep into my eyes with all seriousness. By the sound in his voice and the expression on his face, Rich already knew that he wasn't returning home on that hot, sunny day. He kissed my forehead, rubbed my cheek with his thumb and walked out the door. I grabbed my coffee and walked into the livingroom of the dingy apartment, I set my coffee mug on the end table and sat down on the beat up loveseat. I sat there in complete silence. The room was also dark because the curtains were always closed. Rich was a super paranoid individual, especially when he was on one of his cocaine binges. He always assumed that someone was trying to look in the windows, if the building creaked or a car door shut across the road in the bar parking lot, he would literally become consumed by fear and worry like a little bitch. I never understood why one would repeatedly use a substance that caused immense paranoia. I was an addict myself and that's the last thing I wanted to do. I was only paranoid when bullshit like this transpired and my freedom was on the line. That's when my days of paranoia became apparent. The hours began to roll by and the last time I remembered the clock said 11:30am. I dozed off and I must have been out like a light. I was awakened by the sound of my phone blowing up non-stop. It was now 5:45pm and the caller ID read Erie County Prison. 

"Oh no" I said to myself as I hit the green button on my phone and took the call. "Hello" I answered. 

'This is a recording from the Erie County Prison, you have a collect call from an inmate in this facility, press one to accept this call or two to decline."

I pressed one and another recording came across saying 'this call will be monitored and recorded at all times'

"Oh my God baby, hi, are you alright?" Rich uttered.

"Oh no baby I'm so sorry..what happened today?" I said as tears flooded my eyes. I was scared for him, scared for myself and I felt just as helpless as he did. I didn't know what to do, how to take this and even more traumatizing, what if I ended up in jail too? That would only make my life more miserable than it already was.

"Listen baby, I went into his office thinking that if I just come clean and tell Matt (Rich's probation officer) the  God honest truth about these new charges then maybe he won't violate me since I only have six weeks of probation left. Maybe he would...would just let me appear in court from outside the prison system..well he was waiting for me with the cuffs in his hands and that's was it. Listen baby, I need you to let my dad know that my truck is parked downtown on West Twelfth St. Lot and I need him to get it back to the house." He asked 

"Okay I will" I said, feeling lost. Rich was all I had and if I lost him I would have nobody. Well, that's what he had me convinced anyway. At this point in my life I was even more vulnerable than I was the night he talked me into leaving my husband that will never appreciate me no matter what. It only took about five hundred attemps to con me into it. That was never the case with John, he always loved me unconditionally but when I was in my full blown addiction he didn't know to deal. It was a hard pill for my husband to swallow.

We only talked for a few more minutes until the recording came on and said that the call would end in approximately thirty seconds. Rich was demanding commissary funding and prepaid phone time so he could call me everyday. To keep tabs on me more than anything. You want to see a control freak lose his mind, have him put in jail for six weeks. It works and it works well. 

I had access to the money now, the debit card that had his monthly SSI payment deposited, the extra drug money that was stashed away, the dope he was selling along with some other miscellaneous substances, pain pills, suboxone and a full baggie of xanax bars. It was all shoved in a small tackle box underneath the bed. In the beginning of his incarceration I was in charge of the funds and drug sales but that was short lived and came to a halt when Rich pulled another one of his slimy moves and called his brother Ed to swing by and take all the money and put it on his prison books, then sell the remaining drugs to put that money on his books as well. I was left with $25, 4 packs of cigarettes and God forbid that better last me the week. We had food in the freezer and cupboards but it wouldn't last too long. I was on food assistance and rides were arranged for me to go shopping once per week. When I needed anything other than that I was on my own. It only got worse from here. This was nothing yet.


  • May 11, 2019

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