Category : Stories

Sub Category : Comedy

     Chinky's grandma entered house of Mishra mam in vicinity whose house was on the front row of the street. She was smoking Bidi and keeping a Dabba or tiffin box or lunch box on her left hand. She called Mishra madam, " Didi look my Dabba this tiffin box is almost vacant only a piece of dried Roti is hereand no pickle or vegetable and it is twelve O' clock noon , I am hungry and didn't devour a morsel of biscuit or bread as breakfast. Chinky's mummy my daughter in law gave me a cup of tea in morning but no breakfast served to me." She said, " eat dried roti and pickle kept in the dabba or lunch box." Now it is likely to do lunch as it is noon rather I would take a brunch . Beta if you prepared roti and vegetables then give me some crumbs or stuff because Chinky's mummy has gone market for purchasing vegetables and grocery. She had eaten Doda and chutney. 
       Chinky's grandma was  still smoking Bidi and was coughing she pulled a long smoke current mouthful and cast or emitted puffs frequently. She sat in a chair there . Mishra madam was teaching students or pupils in her private tution- class. She taught them English and Mathematics courses of middle school or Eight class. She was writing a formula or equation on the suspended canvas board on the wall. Chinky's grandma attracted the attention of pupils and Mishra madam showing them the empty tiffin box one by one. She saw a boy was keeping lunch boxand bottle of water near his bag. She asked the boy what  he was carrying in the dabba. That boy responded , " Dadi I have two samoshas and chutney of tamarind."  another boy responded, " Dadi I am having Dhokla and sausage." Then other boys and girls also said to her keeping pity ," Dadi or grandma , you may take Aloopoha, Paratha and Pulao. " Mishra madam said, " no pupils you take stuff or consume your brunch because it is recess or interval for you take brunch, after two O' clock when tution classes over then you may take meals or lunch in your homes. 
          Chinky's grandma was weepy but she was still blowing puffs of smoke in air she ignited a second Bidi then she lighted a third Bidi and was smoking two Bidis one by one holding them in right and left fists. A boy gave her a Samosha  and chutney another boy gave her Jalebi then a girl gave her Paratha or fried flapped cake, mango pickle and vegetable of potatoes .Mishra mam cooked Eadali, Sambher and coconut chutney she served her a plate or platter of four Eadalis , sambher and curd, Chinky's grandma was having a platter and tiffin box or dabba full of viands - Samosha, Dhokla, Aloopoha, Paratha , Eadali , pickle ,chutney and Sambher etc. All the pupils were consuming their brunch and Mishra mam served them Eadlis Sambher[ fried spicy lentils], coconut chutney and Pudi[fried cakes] and vegetables of potatoes as she perpare early in the morning. Chinky's Dadi or grandma was so hungry that she gulped all the stuff served to her within ten minutes and she was gourmet or foodie she asked Misra mam to bring her some more Eadali and said, " Eadaly was soft and delicious. She then devoured four pieces of Eadaly cakes [ steamed cake of rice and gram flour made frof fermented batter with curd and yeast] and Sambher [ fried vegetables lentils] and four pudis [ fried small flour cakes]: then they were consuming their brunch - what a pleasant delicious feast where they were sharing viands to each other . Sudden Chinky entered in the drawing hall , she was having a plate and said, " Dadi[grandma take four Dodas [ fried rice cake stuffed with herbs, onion, chilli and tomatoes and spinach - a Sindhi recipe] I came here searching you as I heard the knock on the gate when you was going out . I prepared breakfast for me ,brother and papa , they had already consumed Dodas and drank glasses of buttermilk ; they were calling you but you was not present in your room. So I guessed that you was hungry and perhaps you might go the house of Mishra Aunt." Chinky placed the plate on table and watched all the students and Mishra aunt were enjoying feast in tution class. Mishra mam said, " Chinky joined us the party I bring you Eadaly, Sambhaer and Ice-cream today is feast in out tution class at the weekend." She brought a platter of Eadaly, Sanbher, coconut chutney for Chinky. They enjoyed the delicacies and grandma was so hungry that she ate all four Dodas and four Eadalys more. Pupils shared some more food say as Pudi, Eadaly and Jalebi. They all enjoyed ice-cream cups and ice-cream bars or sticks say as choco-bars and orange bars etc. Tappu supplied chocolates also. Mishra madam was were generous she kept four Eadaly, \sambher and chutney in dabba or lunch box of Chinky's grandma and she gave a platter of Eadaly, Sambher and coconut  chutney to Chinky to serve her mother. 
      In evening Chinky's mother came to Mishra madam where madam was busy in teaching tution class. She had a dabba or tiffin box and showed it to Mishra madam that Chinky's grandma threw two rotis in the dustbin and three rotis she rolled in paper and these five rotis she didn't eat so it is all leftover. She had thrown vegetables and pickles in the sewer .  I had already prepared two Dodas in morning for her breakfast and served her round seven o' clock. Chinky told me about the festivities in noon that Sasuji[ mother in law] came to your tution class and was asking meals or breakfast as she was hungry. Your pupils and you served her Eadaly, Sambher, Pudi, Jalebi, Aloopoha, Ice-cream, chocolate and sausage. She complained you false allegations. I went to bazaar to purchase vegetables and grocery. You sent me delicious Eadaly , Sambher and coconut chutney. Chinkey's papa sent you compliments for your cooking skills and generosity. Today I prepared Dodas, Satpuda a dessert of white refined flour and syrup of sugr syrup coating and vegetables of Kamalkakadi [lotus root] so this plate is for you. sorry to disturb you in the tution class but mother in law made false complaint to you. you may ask Chinky that she likes spicy food but not simply stuff.  
        It was difficult to know who was right whether grandma or Chinky's mother. Students first time heard about the dessert or sweetmeat Satpuda - a Sindhi recipe so they wanted to taste it. Madam Mishra broke it into pieces of cubes as it looked like a big rose flower where all petals or flaps were coated with syrup. They enjoyed the sweet flaps of Satpuda and liked most. 
        Next day, Dadi came near about eleven o' clock and asked match box to light Bidi because she was not having a pack or bundle of Bidis and matchbox she was keeping a half burnt Bidi and she wanted to smoke as outcome of the addiction. She had a matchbox in in her pocket of pajamas  but there was no matchstick only pieces of burnt Bidis kept. She picked up another matchbox kept in the pocket of her shirt. She showed these two match boxes to Mishra  madam where kept the burnt pieces of Bidis. Mishra madam went to kitchen and brought a matchbox for her . Dadi was happy to receive the matchbox and she lighted a half burnt Bidi . She asked Mishra mam, what she cooked for breakfast - Aloopoha, if she cooked then serve her please because she ate a dried Roti in breakfast with salt and water only rather dipped some morsels in tea and water and she was not feeling well because she ate stale food or Basi Roti five days old that she rolled or covered in a paper and kept on a rack. " if you have Sambher and coconut chutney then bring me, I saved two Eadaly yesterday and rolled in the paper then she put out a pack from another pocket of pajamas and showed two Eadalys to Mishra madam." 
         Mishra madam was annoyed and said, " no, I ate simply Roti and tea in breakfast and no Sambher and sausage saved." Tappu said, " I have Samosha and tamarind sausage , you may take a Samosha and tamarind sausage from me." Kappu took pity on Dadi and said," i have Aloopoha and Jalebi you may take it." chinky's grandma took the stuff without hesitation and devoured Eadaly, tamarind sausage , Aloopoha and Jalebi. After finishing the breakfast she asked Mishra mam to bring her a cup of tea because she was having a toast and two biscuits with her and wanted to eat biscuits dipping in tea. She said, " boil tea with crushed ginger and cardamom as she liked most the flavor. " Mishra mam annoyed but maintaining the decorum of the tution class she was disciplined and didn't loose temper. She asked Kappu to make tea for Dadi and Chynki's Dadi sat in a chair and lighted two burnt Bidis and she was smoking rather inhaling smoke of the two Bidis simultaneously . Chinky came sudden there and said, " Dadi I have Uttapam for you in breakfast , I thought you was not in room so I came here in search of you  and here is plate of Uttapam and sausage of tomatoes for you."  Shhe put plate of Uttapam before her . Dadi was eating Uttapam and she was still smoking Bidis.  
       Chinky said, " Mishra mam , don't mind , Dadi likes you most and your pupils who love and respect Dadi and share breakfast or snacks with her so she comes here daily and interrupt you." No other members share and dine meals with her and talk a little so she comes here and likes your pupils. My mother is out of home she went to temple asking me to make breakfast and I was busy with daily chores perhaps Dadi complained you. My mother reprimanded me that I couldn't make breakfast for Dadi on time. 
       Any boy brought dessert or chocolate today inquired Dadi . A girl stood and said, " you may this chocolate from me." Dadi immediately unwrapped the chocolate bar and was chewing it. Other pupils Mishra mam and Chinky were laughing at Dadi as Dadi punched them chewing the chocolate bar and was puffing two half burnt Bidis simultaneously. They bursted in to laughter then Dadi asked them to bring her a Bidi. Tappu said, he would bring a bundle of Bidis and matchbox next day. 
     Next day , Dadi came there round about eleven o' clock and said, " Tappu give me Bidi and matchbox .' Tappu took up the bundle of Beedis[ spelled bidi or biri is a thin cigarette with tobacco flake and commonly wrapped in a Tendu[ Piliostigma racemosum leaf tied with a sting or adhesive at one end] and matchbox from the bag and gave her. Kappu gave her a bar of chocolate and other boys said, " they are going home just now and they are having no stuff in the bags as they have already taken breakfast in the morning." Mishra mam said, " I took some biscuits and tea we have to go bazaar to purchase some books and stationery ." All pupils were packing their paraphernalia say as tiffin boxes ,books and tennis bats and balls etc. Chinky came there again she was having two platters of Dhokla and cups of tomatoes sausage . She said , ' today is feast from me , cheers ! devour this softy spongy Dhokla you also come on Dadi." They surprised to receive Dhokla and unexpected party  from Chinky . Dadi lighted two bidies first and joined them to taste the delicious Dhokla. 
         Mishra mam  said to pupils that Dadi disturbed us daily so ponder a solution of the problem . tappu said,' she is old and senior citizen we have to respect her so it would be better to have a plate of eatables and desserts for her where evervy one would contribute a piece of viand per day and decorate each eatable properly and as she came we would present the plate to her." It looked somewhat odd or awkward but it would be absurd and wasting of time to chat and discuss with her as she was whimsical and cynic so they were agree on this point and took a resolution. 
         Next day, Chinky's mummy prepared Bhajia,chutney and tea in morning and entrusted Chinky the task to serve breakfast to family members. She then went to temple , after an hour round about ten o' clock she came to Mishra mam's tution class because she wanted to watch the activities of Chinky and Dadima - what they were feasting daily in the tution class of Mishra mam. Dadima looked for each crumb and made complaint against her and Chinky aggravated her drama queen activities  - what the false allegations she made daily. Round about eleven o' clock , Dadima entered the tution class. Tappu hinted Chinky's mummy to hide behind the curtain and kappu brought a well decorated plate for Dadi where they had garnished the stuff - Aloopoha, Jalebi, Samosha, chutney and Paratha then Mishra mam brought a plate of dessert Rasmalai . They said, " well come Dadi these all stuffs are for you , as today is birthday of Sonu, so he sent Rasmalai for you and gone away." Kappu said, " devour all these stuffs then I will give you chocolate and ice-cream brought by sonu. "  as per habit Dadi lighted two Bidis first then she puffed heavily a Bidi  for ten seconds and started eating the stuff. She ate a morsel of Samosha then puffed Bidi a while when ate Jalebi then puffed second Bidi heavily . All the pupils were laughing along  with Mishra mam and Chinky's mom was also laughing hiding behind the curtain and was watching the feasting of Dadi - where Dadi was smoking two Bidis one by one consuming a morsel of Samosha or Paratha and dessert . She lost in eating the viands and all boys and girls were chanting - happy birthday Sonu and they were bursting the balloons in absence of Sonu. All of sudden , Chinky entered in the room dramatically having a big platter of Potato Bhajia [ potato chips coated with batter of gram flour and fried] and tomatoes chutney . She also shouted , " happy birthday Sonu ! then said, " dadi you are here celebrating the birthday and didn't have your breakfast so i brought her two plates one for you another for kids and Mishra mam - consume hot potato Bhajia and tomato ketchup and sausage that you liked most."  Chinky's mom was watching them behind the curtain and saw that all fellows were enjoying the party and children were playing so she came out of the adjoining room. Dadi and Chinky surprised to see Mom there who sudden appeared there . She didn't comment but said, " carry on celebration , bring some eatables for me too and chocolates and cups of ice-cream." she also joined the party and Kappu was playing videos of filmy songs . After half an hour Chinky's mom burst on Dadi and Chinky and reprimanded them. She said, " you two notorious guys daily play pranks and enjoy party here that all the neighbors know , and Dadi you daily complained against me that I don't serve you breakfast and meals and keep you hungry . You old crone you hide Roti and roll them in paper then you demand tea in morning with biscuits and afternoon and in evening. You condemn my attitudes and you Chinky you aggravate her notorious activities you naughty girl , you daily play pranks and prepare stuff for breakfast and vegetables and recipes what you like but you don't serve properly to Dadi. You know in last night your papa slapped me refuting my attitudes so I came here to investigate the matter." 
           They went but Dadi packed the leftovers in a paper and carried along with her. Next day , Chinky's mom prepared breakfast in morning she served a plate of Uttapam and a cup of tea to Dadi then shut the door of her room.  She commanded Chinky , " not to open the door of room of Dadi and whatever the stuff she liked in breakfast might prepare and serve to her papa and brother." She went to temple . For a week same ordeal and routine were followed so Chinky and Dadi didn't go to the classes of Mishra madam.  Boys and girls even Mishra madam were  sad and feeling somewhat bad or uneasy  mechanical life and thought that they were wrongdoers and committed misdemeanor however for a while a load of tension gone away but daily interlude played by Dadi where all the pupils enjoyed party they were missing. so Tappu , Kappu and Sonu were doing mimicry - Kappu played the role of Dadi ; Sonu played the character of Chinky and they enjoyed a lot. Rather they started sharing viands , chocolates and ice-cream in the tution classes. 
       One day Dadi came unexpectedly in tution class round about eleven o' clock and showed tiffin box ther was a piece of Doda  she demanded chutney or curd. Mishra madam brought her a bowl of curd then all boys and girls were laughing and Tappu brought a plate and they put there Aloopoha, Jalebi, Dhokla and Samosha. They said, " Dadi eat , why were you absent in last week ?' dadi smiled and said, " me was captive, today Chinky's mummy forgot to shut the door so I came here ." After a few minutes Chinky came with a plate of Dhokla and chutney and they laughed a lot  and ate Dhokla and other stuffs. Sudden Chinky's mummy came there and said, " you old crone you couldn't mend your habit you are looking for crumb. You are greedy and foodie." But Dadi didn't care for them . She lighted a Bidi and was puffing and eating Dhokla soaked in chutney overlooking Chinky's mom and other persons. They laughed a lot . They posed a piece of stuff and said, " old crone is looking for crumb." 
     Mishra mam said," Old woman yes Beldam is looking for crumb! "  Kappu showed her Dhokla , Tappu showed her Samosha, Sonu showed her Jalebi and they were laughing and singing :  

                      Beldom, beldom smoking Bidis
                      eating Dhokla and Pudi 
                      soaked Samosha in chutney
                      puffed smoke eating Jalebi
                      chewing chocolate gulping ice-cream 
                       beldam, beldam smoking Bidis 
                      wrapping Eadaly in paper 
                     filling match boxes with burnt bidis 
                     old crone dancing in fury 
                     Chinky Pinky mom mam making curry 
                     Beldam is eating platters of viands duly 
                     Tappu, Kappu, Sonu not greedy 
                     watching beldam eating sipping syrup truly 
                     Mishra mam and mom do not be confuse 
                    Beidam is active not mute not smoke slowly 
                    Beldam, Beldam is smoking Bidi furiously 
                    looking for crumb Chinky you are not jury 
                    Beldam looking for crumb, Beldam dying for crumb 
                    hurry hurry Mishra mam Chinky mom don't worry. 
                    ***** Kamal Kishore Sharma 
                                Behind Hotel Midtown Sneh Nagar 
                                Balaghat[MP] India 481001 
                                9424614441  8966088853 
                                Date: Monday May 27, 2019