Category : Blogs

Sub Category : Relationships

Do you know how it feels living your whole life for somebody that don't even care about your existence? During the highs_ here he comes and the lows_there he goes...it's very depressing isn't it? And to think a whole human being could stick around and tolarate this mess without a doubt this person is stupid no? Delusional. No, maybe just somebody that fell inlove so hard and got messed up_pretty bad. 


I have seen it on television, in the movies...when people lose their heads over this admirable thing called love. Ha! Who would have thought I would even be sitting here writing all this down ? Lets cut the bull, let me take you straight to the point. I've been hurt so many times by somebody I never thought would have hurt me...It only feels right to admit this now_I loved the wrong person in all the right ways and it destroyed every piece of me! It's like being stripped down naked in front of a whole congregation. YES! It feels that bad and probably looks that way too coz I had a whole baby with him. (Scratch "with him") by him to be precise. Don't get me wrong, I love my baby_he is the best thing that has ever happened to me! I wouldn't trade my baby boy for anything but now I live with so much regret on how i made so many wrong decisions...selfish decisions for that matter... I could have done better, like had my baby with someone who was willing to be in his life. Someone mature enough to understand what it takes to raise a child...but I was inlove right? Though the pregnancy was not planned but I still should have known better. I cry sometimes when I think of everything I have been through just to have my baby, I think of how God made it possible for me to be THAT strong for such an experience...I carried everything, the baby, the shame, just everything because like some would say; I deserved it. Thank you...