Ashes Of Eden. Benjamin Burnley's Confession. Read Count : 6

Category : Articles

Sub Category : spirituality
We were all human being. We were living on the same planet, same earth, same universe. Whom you would supposed to believe it was all your choice. Not other people business. They have no right to judge or force you to do what they said because they didn’t walk on your shoe.

We belong into somewhere on this planet. We were one united. We were all having our own problems. We were battling with our insanity also those demons in real life or even in our own head and mind. Once again, we have no right to blame them for what they have done or what had happened into their life because you were not them. You didn’t walk on their shoe. You didn’t know how does it feels like to be one of them, one of us.

Battling with depression was hard. I didn’t say it was as easy as you drink your pills, doing medical check up, consultation, meditation and do a healthy lifestyle. Sometimes you win, sometimes you failed. Sometimes you would feel okay but at the end of the day you were feeling so weak, useless and dying. I figured it wasn’t that easy to be 100% healed. 

I’ve been dealing with mental health issues for years. I’ve had depression since I was 13 years old. I got anxiety disorder 3 years ago. I also have anger issue and self harming history back then when I was 13. It was really really hard for being a normal teenager at that time. and I might still looked normal but some way it wasn’t me at all. It was like the other me you’ve seen. 

Then I found this video on Youtube someone uploaded Breaking Benjamin’s song, Ashes of Eden with a voice record of Benjamin Burnley (the main vocalist of the band when he got interview) as the backsound of the song. That song was amazing. I almost cried everytime I heard that and Ben’s voice broke my heart into pieces. He was also been dealing with mental illness. And his confession really touched my heart like I realized I was not alone in this earth with all of this sicken issues. So I put his statement here for you all to read and hope it could help even just a bit happiness to share with people or someone you love the most. 

I think you all know why I named mostly all my social sites with Dear Agony. Well I will keep this thing for my next article. And this was what Ben said about his mental illness and so on.

“I was really like unstable mentally. And I might still be. But hell, I had a lot of suicidal tendencies and I basically started drinking, to drink myself to death. Because I figured it’d be easy because I wanted it to take me. All you have to do is get it down, you know. That’s how it started. 

You know, I’d do stupid stuff like I’d sit in the tub with razor blades and try to give anything to feel normal again. Basically suffered some mental illness from drinking. Physical alignments from drinking and it’s kind of stepped in said, “look and made it real” apparent to me if I was to keep drinking, I wouldn’t be here and that’s what I wanted. It just came at the years and years ago, that’s what I wanted. It’s just came at the wrong time. People understand that God exists to them in their own way and they understand that there is a balance between physical and your spiritual being. You know, and that the two are connected.

Obviously somebody’s out there or something’s out there looking after me.”

Article by. Vivian Lin

Source from Youtube with username: silyvr

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  • Apr 23, 2019

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