Category : Diary/Journal

Sub Category : N/A

"How you show up to anything is how you show up to everything" .... What does that mean really? 

I've heard it said that in business, in the bedroom, and even in the everyday life, showing up is 80% of the equation. All the skills, tactics, strategy, talent and genius only account for 20% of satisfaction and success. I see this is because of pure presence. 

And so, I ask myself: How deeply am I willing to show up in all of my mess, in all of my glory, and in all of my humanity? 

My presence makes all the difference. My unwavering focus and devotion. My absolute primal rage and my deep royal breath. 

My journey has led me to the uncomfortable edges of mental and emotional growth. It has brought me to dig deep within and see all of my being in absolute clarity. I see parts of me that have grown in levels of incredible heights and I also see parts of me where growth has been progressing in a much slower rate. I recognize the work that needs to be done in all these parts and I'm working on them daily. 

Self-discovery is self-growth that begins with awareness. The awareness will only come if and when I choose to put my ego aside and look at myself through the lens of truth. Why am I here? What is my purpose for being here? Why do I even exist? Is the whole idea of my birth into this world simply to get an education, to work, to pay bills, to play, to date, to get married, to get divorced, and then to wait for death to come knocking at my door?  No. There has got to be a bigger plan for my existence, a bigger picture. That bigger picture is what I'm seeking to find. That bigger picture is what will truly make sense in the end. 

Love, I talk about it all the time. I have written about it in many different ways. I've had discussions and debates about it with so many people and what I recognize is that the definition of love varies to everyone. I have shown love to strangers, to animals, to plants, and I have shown unconditional love to my family, to my soon-to-be ex-husband, to my soulmate, to people who matter to me. I have shown up for them by being present for them. But what about me? Have I shown up for myself? Have I been showing myself the same unconditional love that I have been showing all those people? No. 

I recognize now that my presence to myself will make all the difference to me. My unwavering focus and devotion. My absolute primal rage and my deep royal breath. 

Yes, there is still a lot of work that needs to be done. There is still a lot of work I need to do on me.