Category : Diary/Journal
Sub Category : N/A
When I look at some of the most beautiful trees in the world, I see a similarity between most of them. While they may differ in terms of shapes and colours, the most healthy and robust trees all have a complex network of branches. They reach out, feeling the wind blow from every direction with their branches soaking in the air with their finger-like leaves, absorbing light from above with their lofty heights to add strength and expand upon their roots. The ones that thrive the most have branched out every which way possible, therefore they have the most of everything upon which to thrive.
In my current state of being, I'm feeling paralyzed by deep sadness and discomfort. While I concede I don't have the power to stop my self from feeling, I recognize how my choices stifle my development as a person. I pulled myself away from being social because I've been hearing too much of discouraging and stagnant situations from others around me that wasn't helping me in any way to get out of this current funk that I'm in. But on the flip side, I also recognize that by doing this I am also pushing away opportunities to learn and grow.
Looking back, I see my mistake was that I wasn't branching out, and therefore had insufficient emotional and intellectual nourishment upon which to subsist. I keep others at arm's length in an effort I perceived to be protecting myself, yet it kept me from receiving the support I desperately need.
I also recognize that I have indeed found the happiness and satisfaction that comes from branching out in the past, extending my reach, and taking hold of more of what the world around me has to offer. I recognize that as I branch out to learning new things about myself, turning over a new leaf by putting forth desire for new growth in confidence, reaching out to genuinely good people who can offer the light of knowledge, compassion, empathy, love and friendship, I can become more of who and what I want to be.
Nothing says I must persist in feeling alone simply because it's seemingly how I'm currently feeling. The shift that I need to happen to change my current emotional condition needs to come from within. Sometimes, it means getting out of my comfort zones, removing myself from uninspiring social circles and spending more time around those who genuinely see, hear and understand me, those who consistently shine on me more lovingly than others. I may not control in what areas I'm planted, but I can indeed control how I grow from it, challenging as that may in fact be. I recognize there is a world of support out there if I will carefully reach out for it. When I'm feeling small and bare without my leaves like the way I'm feeling right now, perhaps it's time to branch out.
I recognize I am not planted in one spot. I have the mobility to change my surroundings and state of emotion if I choose to do so. Every good change begins with a step in the right direction. Sometimes, that first step is awareness. I need to be aware of who I am, in order to gauge where I should be to become the person I want to be.
And right now, I need to be around people who truly see me, hear me, and love me in all ways.