If I Eat Read Count : 6

Category : Diary/Journal

Sub Category : N/A

If I eat,  I will gain weight. 


If I don't eat I will still gain weight. 


So I don't eat, but then I still gain weight. 


I'm miserable,  ugh. 


I am so tired of my life. 


I get fat shamed,  bullied for unknown weight gain. 


Is it my fault. 


I will refuse to eat,  and will do anything to loose weight. 


I started cutting,  I wanna be a anxoria and never eat. 


I'm so tired of being shamed, is that my fault. 


I was put threw those terrible stage's in life. 


I try to make friends but I suffer. 


I am afraid to speak,  to eat,  to make friends. 


To be honest I have been shredding weight,  but I wanna loose more weight. 


So I continue to not eat,  and I will do anything to loose weight. 


Don't you dare try to be my friend. 


Don't even speak to me, I am far from perfection,  I am a total mess. 


I just hate my life. So I will do just about anything dangerous. 


I wanna stop being such a terrible wreck. 


I been put down throughout my entire life. 


I'm so use to having backstabbing friends,  so I will refuse to let back in. 


I will walk away from society,  and I will be in a happier place. 


Being with myself is a happier place. 


I am suffering in depression.  Suffering. 


It is breaking my heart,  it's making me feel terrible. 


And to  look at a magazine of a girl who gets to be so pretty,  make's me so jealous. 


I am being honest,  I wanna be very thin,  I want my life back. 


I wanna be happy,  normal,  wanted to make some friends. 


But I have a demon,  a demon that pulls me away from society. 


I wanted a boyfriend but I feel so weak,  unhappy,  so I will apart myself from remaining  in the society. 


I wanted friends and I wanted a boyfriend. 


People just ruined the society with negativness,  and they have to make life feel like a terrible place. 


They will backbite,  cheat,  lie,  steal your man,  beat you up,  break your heart. 


Oh how damaged I am because they built themselves up. 


So I will be within my own life,  I will hug my own venomous demon,  and I will be a toxic to myself. 


I am dangerous to my soul,  to my body and my own mind. 

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