Category : Blogs

Sub Category : Relationships

As the pace of life picks up, things seem to happen quicker and being the humans that we are, it's sometimes tough to keep the pace. Inevitably as others do their level best to keep up with the pace of their lives, I have often feel pushed off to the wayside, left alone in the corner. While in general humanity has lost much of its empathy, sweetness and respect for others, I would say the biggest reason why I feel invisible is not because others don't care, it's more often a matter of taking things for granted. 

Personally, this journey of human experience for me is about focus, choice, and shift. To establish a strong connection with another human being, it should be perfectly normal to care more about what makes people who they are, and not make our own theory of who we think they are. There is an art to establish that strong connection and it's called communication. Real communication is where we not only listen to understand, but to really hear what is being said and what is not said. I have come across people when communicating with me don't really listen to what I'm saying, but while I'm speaking, they're already waiting to jump in with a response without fully digesting what I was saying. Their focus wasn't on me, but on themselves. That is the choice they make. 

Each person is beyond precious, however imperfect we all may in fact be. Every person has intelligence, capability, and potential. We all have feelings, and the need to feel important. But look around, is it any wonder at how much chaos and conflict now exists as compared with decades ago, now that we struggle just to talk to one another? A lot of people now care more about what's on their phone screens than the person right next to them struggling with loneliness, anxious about making ends meet, or feeling alone while surrounded by a crowd. Yes, technology is important to a certain degree, there is no denying that. But when it consumes your life to the point where you lose touch with being human, it is a colossal disaster. We all have the capability to be the most connected, most harmonious society the earth has ever known. Why then are we not better connected, better at loving and understanding one another? 

I'm at a point in my life where I'm not old enough to think of myself as old, yet not young enough to think of myself as young. I'm by no means someone who qualifies as rich in the financial sense, but I also wouldn't qualify as poor. I've lived long enough to understand what's truly valuable above all things. It isn't money or comforts. It certainly isn't popularity, or having others think highly of me. 

I can search far and wide for the most valuable treasures, and still not manage to find satisfaction for which I've sought. I find it ironic that in today's society, people are far too quick to discard what are truly the most valuable treasures in exchange for useless trinkets. I do not need to look any further than the people with whom I associate closely and intimately to find true wealth, true value, and priceless treasure because the most valuable commodity that I can truly enjoy in this life is my connection with others. Sadly, this world has been taught through a greedy media to focus on status, materialism, and fame. Folks are taught to value the opinions of those who care nothing about their safety, wellbeing, and general welfare, often to the exclusion and detriment of those who do. People worry about what others think of them, instead of focusing upon what kind of relationships they are fostering with others. They strive to look as good as possible, while they ignore the needs of friends and loved ones in the corner. 

Albert Einstein once said that "only a life lived for others is a life worth living." Does that mean we are supposed to neglect ourselves, our own needs and desires? Of course not. We must see to our own needs as well, but once those needs are met, we should share with, include, and uplift others. 

I have long ago discard cares about what others may think of me and instead have been focusing my effort and energy upon how I can enrich lives and strengthening my connections with people. At the end of the day, I cannot take fortune and fame with me as I pass from this mortal sphere. Those useless trinkets that have been accumulated throughout my living years must all be left at the gate to gather dust. They don't matter. In the end, I can only ask myself how I did with building and maintaining the connections I had in life. The biggest regrets of most parents after raising their family is how much time they spent harassing their children in effort to achieve perfection instead of building a relationship with them. Parents and children can often go a lifetime without ever truly knowing one another. Romantic relationships often suffer the same fate, and divorces and breakups serve as a reminder of misplaced values on things that never mattered. Friendships can crumble as priorities shift onto worldly concerns, social media pressures and appearances. 

Nothing will ever matter more to me than the relationships I have with others. Sure, some of my friends don't value me, but that is on them and not on me. It's all more the reason for me to set boundaries to establish healthy connections to replace them instead of allowing the same sad cycles to repeat. It may sound cold and harsh, but I am now at a place in my life where I expect in all ways to be seen, to be heard, and to be loved in the exact same way I see, hear, and love the people I have real and deep connections with. It is time for me to move forward in making sure I am an example of what I'd hope to find from others. The way I look at it, the best way to deal with a darkening world is to become the type of light I would hope to find. 

Every person makes a difference in this world, and matters more than could possibly be measured, and that includes me. I desire to find treasures in this world and so, I seek to connect. There was a time where connection was what I had come to fear most, but when I opened my heart to new energies and frequencies, I began to recognize that not everyone is that ex-husband who broke my heart, or the insensitive friend who lost my trust. I know there are good people out there, people who would see me, hear me, and love me, without me having to teach them how to connect with me in that way. I just need to honor my boundaries and find what I need for me.