Category : Blogs

Sub Category : Motivation

Self-love isn't always easy. The low days are hard but the good thing about the low days is that every single person, even the people you think have it all together, have experienced them. No one is exempt from feeling low. No one is exempt from having off-days or experiencing bad self-esteem days. No one is exempt from knowing what it feels like to feel uncomfortable in their own body. Self-love is a challenge but it's worth fighting for. 

People often conceal themselves behind masks for many reasons - out of fear that they won't be accepted as they are, or that their thoughts or ideas might be perceived as stupid or silly, or that their problems are unique and won't be understood. But most of the time those are only their own perception of who they think they are; imaginary issues they create in their own head. But because they believe those imaginary issues to be true, they keep themselves far away from self-reflection, where they might discover they have a past that needs forgiving, a present requiring healing, and a different future where they are deserving. 

Honesty is a tough sell when you look in the mirror and don't like what you see, or when you close your eyes and don't like the sound of your thoughts, or when you open your mouth and don't like what comes out. Loving yourself is challenging and at times it feels like an impossible task when actually it's not. Truth can only be your own and it begins with honesty. And the honest truth is, you are capable of loving yourself even on days you want to break every mirror. You are capable of loving yourself on days you might binge eat or indulge when you don't want to. You are capable of loving yourself in a bathing suit or anything else you want to wear. You are capable of loving yourself because you deserve your own love. You deserve the love you keep giving to everyone else but yourself. 

You are enough. You are enough exactly as who you are and no one (especially yourself), should make you feel uncomfortable in your own skin because you deserve to love yourself as much as everyone else on this earth should love themselves. You are allowed to take up space and not feel ashamed of who you are. 

So look at yourself in the mirror and stop damaging yourself by telling yourself lies. You are enough. Life is a risk so stop thinking of cheating yourself out of experiences because of fear. You are enough. Hiding is easier than accepting so stop yourself when you feel the urge to raise a mask to hide yourself. You are enough. 

Stop shortchanging yourself. 
Stop judging yourself. 
Start loving yourself. 

Love knows no barriers and I encourage you to love yourself wholeheartedly because you are enough. You are in fact so much more than you allow yourself to take credit for. You are enough. Life is already full of challenges and what it doesn't need is constant self-judgment. What it doesn't need is constant self-criticism. What it doesn't need is constant putting yourself down because of your imperfections. 

You are the only person who knows yourself the best and therefore you should take this time to get to know yourself better. You should learn and uncover the uncomfortable parts of who you are so that those parts no longer become something you dread but instead something you embrace. Don't run from yourself, instead love the parts you'd usually run from because they are part of what makes who you are. 

Understand that no one is perfect and everyone has insecurities. Understand that the love you have in your heart is enough for you to love yourself. Understand that self-love is not selfish, it's necessary and important. Understand you are deserving of love, especially your own. Understand you are capable of being loved and you are capable of loving yourself just the way you are. Understand you are more than enough the way you are on your own and you should love yourself the way you deserve. 

I'd like to close my blog today with a spoken word poetry by Adam Roa; who is a poet/motivational speaker. He performed this spoken word poetry at a self-love/self-healing workshop he attended not too long ago. This poetry of his was picked up and made into a video where it has been viewed by over 1.5million people all over the globe. It is a very inspiring poetry and I hope it would inspire you the same way it had inspired me. 

"You're Who You've Been Looking For" by Adam Roa

"You are who you've been looking for. So stop looking for more unless you are looking in the mirror because it's about time for you to see clearly that you are who you've been looking for. 

That empty feeling you got; that hole in your chest, you only got that feeling because you think you're not blessed with everything you need. 

We live in a consumerist society which means they need you to buy stuff and the easiest way to sell it is to tell you "you're not enough".

Buy this car, you'll get girls. 
Buy the bra, you'll get guys. 
And we're seeing it so much that we start believing the lies. But the truth is.... the makeup they're selling to make you feel prettier is the same makeup you buy to stop feeling shittier about this lie they keep telling you that "you're not enough".

And what about movies we watch? All the shows on TV? The more I watch, the more I see "I need You to complete Me...?" 
And yes, love is the answer, love is the key, but if you can't love yourself how can you ever love me? 

And loving yourself.... what does that even mean? Like massages and selfies, that sort of thing? Because the more I think about it, the more it feels weird, I always thought that self-love was something to be feared. 

I've been taught that arrogance is bad and vanity, it's not good. And even my bracelets are telling me to act like Jesus would. So what should I do? How should I act? I'm supposed to love myself but how do I even do that? 

Well I got a trick that I picked up from a friend who noticed that I was quick to defend HER when she would say something negative about herself. 
She'd say, "I'm so dumb", and I'd say, "You're so brilliant!"
She'd say, "I'm so weak", and I'd say, "You're so resilient!"
And when she said, "I feel ugly", and I said, "You look beautiful," she asked me why I was so dutifully filling up her cup constantly and yet treating my own cup so irresponsibly. 

Because when I looked in the mirror my voice was quite clear.... "You're ugly, you're too thin, your hairline's receeding, and you got a pimple on your chin." 
And that was when she gave me a piece of advice that changed my life. She gave me a hug and she said, "Treat yourself like someone you love."

Now, I had been standing but I needed to be sitting because I couldn't believe that I had been letting myself keep forgetting that I was who I'd been looking for. And deep in my core I knew it was time to stop looking for more until I could look through all my fears and look into a mirror and see clearly that the man looking back at me was the only one who can make me happy, and I am already enough. 

I am not any more special or unique than you that is why I'm here to tell you, "You are already enough". 
And when you start to see that you will start to be that. Your world will get brighter, your load will get lighter, and you will see that with life you can be a lover and not a fighter. 

And that life.... you deserve it. Because you're worth it. There is no point in letting yourself keep forgetting because no matter what you say or do.... you are perfect. 
So today, I hope I leave you with a direction correction away from the flaws you see in your reflection. They aren't flaws to me, they're simply protection against all the doubts you have of your perfection. 

So, start today. Take a good long look in the mirror and say.... "I am who I've been looking for.""