Category : Diary/Journal
Sub Category : N/A
Sometimes I feel like Job,
Sometimes times where I wanted to curse my own life.
Times where I thought I should've and wanted to be dead just by the pain.
I still knew one thing; I didn't want to be departed, even though it felt like Christ didn't love me and how I grew upset and bitter towards him, he still had this pull on my heart despite of me being mad at Jesus, I still feel like I still was in love with him, even though I tried to run I became a Jonah; everywhere I went I couldn't escape, I couldn't do nothing because his love was still there even though I never really loved myself even. But it didn't mean that it got easy for me neither; life got harder and harder, worser and woser. Times where I literally felt & still feel that since I know I'm a sinner that he's not listening but God really did prove me wrong a funny and sticky situation I was in, well got myself in a hole knewing it was wrong, but it was parts of my heart that I allowed to be tattooed on my skin, but mistakably knowing I was a thief, thinking he wasn't listening when I called out for help in a tiny whisper. But still yet His grace came and rescued me time and time again; I've been trying to do right but keep falling back and forth. I try, I'm not the best, I'm not always loyal or faithful, but he shows me He's still faithful and loyal even when I'm not. He's always been patient with me, and always gave me love when I tried to run from his love because I felt his love so deep pulling at my heart making me still stay in love with him even when I tried to break from him, I just couldn't because I knew I still loved him too. For all the wonderful times he rescued my life, I really would've been writing this story if God hasn't rescued me from so much pain. I fall time to time, I loose my way like a human I'm not always going to be right but I try... 🙂🙂❤️❤️❤️❤️